For decades, men have observed that more often than not, women tend to gravitate to men who exhibit the behavior of an ‘asshole’ and/or a ‘jerk’ than they do the ultra-polite ‘nice guy’ types or the monogamy-oriented ‘classy gentleman’ types. Many of my followers and dating coaching clients tend to ask me why this is. In this article, I will identify many of the personality traits that turn women on … as well as those personality traits that turn women off.
REMEMBER: JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING CENTERS AROUND ‘SUPPLY vs. DEMAND’
First, let us examine an economics-related concept. I possess an undergraduate degree in Economics, so I will start here: Many aspects of our lives – both financial and non-financial – center around the concept of SUPPLY and DEMAND.
You take me. I am a self-employed book author, freelance columnist and writer, and professional dating coach. Most of my days are spent either writing, offering men dating advice via my Email consultations or my Skype & Telephone consultations, or some weeks I am traveling to different cities working with men as part of my One-on-One / Face-to-Face Dating Coaching sessions.
Let’s say on an average week, I have 20 hours to devote to working with potential clients via my Skype & Telephone consultation sessions. I offer 20-minute sessions, 40-minute sessions, and 1-hour sessions. So, that means on any given week I could have as many as twenty (20) 1-hour clients, thirty (30) 40-minute clients, or sixty (60) 20-minute clients. What that means is, my “supply” is 20-60 open spots available to potential clients over a span of twenty hours on most weeks.
If I have more potential clients willing to pay me money than I have open spots available, then that means that my DEMAND is higher than my SUPPLY. Or, another way of putting it would be that my price for each slot is TOO LOW.
Conversely, if each and every week, I have a higher number of open spots available than I do potential clients who are willing to pay for each of those spots, then this would represent a scenario where my SUPPLY is higher than my DEMAND. Or, in other words, my price for each slot is TOO HIGH.
All businesses use the concept of supply vs. demand (to one degree or another) to determine the prices for their products and services. For example, if McDonald’s were to charge $15.00 for a Big Mac sandwich, then the DEMAND for that particular sandwich would decrease significantly. On the flip side, if McDonald’s were to only charge $1.00 for the Big Mac sandwich, 90% chance, there would be way too many customers in each McDonald’s franchise location waiting to purchase that particular sandwich.
THE CONNECTION BETWEEN ‘SUPPLY & DEMAND’ and YOUR BEHAVIOR
Right now, you might be asking, “Alan, with all due respect … what do economics and the concept of ‘supply & demand’ have to do with connecting with members of the opposite sex?” My response would be EVERYTHING.
In the world of Attraction & Seduction industry advice, and the pickup artist (PUA) community, there are two similar terms that you will hear many dating coaches, PUAs, and seduction gurus discuss. Those two terms are “Sexual Marketplace Value,” or a close variation is “Social Market Value.” The acronym ‘SMV’ represents both. Sexual Marketplace Value would represent both the QUANTITY and QUALITY of sex partners that men and women are regularly able to attract. Social Market Value would represent how many people you can regularly motivate to agree to share your company … whether it is in a romantic, sexual, or purely platonic manner.
If on an average week, I have twenty hours to spend socializing with single women … and on any given week, I have five, ten, fifteen or more women offering to share my company in a one-on-one manner, that would represent that I have an above-average to an extremely high degree of Social Market Value. If I am able to engage in sexual relations with an average of three out of every five women that choose to socialize with me, this would represent that I also have an above-average degree of Sexual Marketplace Value.
Get it? Got it? Good.
A HIGH DEMAND FOR YOUR COMPANIONSHIP = MORE ‘CHALLENGING’ or ‘DIFFICULT’ BEHAVIOR
If you are an employee at XYZ company, and that company seems to be the only company in your city or metropolitan area that is willing to pay you money for your work experience, skills, and job-related expertise, then that means that if you happen to have a boss who is an asshole/jerk (man) or a straight-up bitch (woman), you will simply have to deal with their undesirable and maybe even disrespectful behavior. Call yourself the patient, tolerant, accommodating ‘nice guy.’
If you are another employee at XYZ company … but in the last five weeks, you have received offers of employment from three or four rival companies – and all of them are willing to match or exceed your current salary – be honest: are you going to be willing to remain at XYZ company indefinitely and tolerate any undesirable and/or disrespectful behavior from your boss? HELL NO. In this situation, you can either a) leave XYZ company and go work for a rival company, or b) remain at XYZ company, but exert a high degree of negotiating influence on how your superiors and colleagues treat you (because you know you can leave at any time and work for one of your company’s rivals, you have the ‘upper hand’ psychologically) as well as influence the type of salary and other job-related perks that this company should offer you.
TOP 5 REASONS WHY ‘ASSHOLES / BAD BOYS / JERKS’ ARE MORE POPULAR WITH WOMEN
Everything you have read up to this point leads me to my assertion as to why women love men who are challenging, if not flat-out ‘difficult’ to get along with … and why those same women generally tend to take ‘nice guy’ types and ‘gentleman’ types for granted.
REASON #5: YOU DISPLAY A HIGH DEGREE OF SELF-CONFIDENCE as well as a HIGH DEGREE OF SELF-ESTEEM BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU HAVE SOMETHING OF VALUE TO OFFER WOMEN
Comment: You cannot be successful in motivating a woman to share your company (particularly in a romantic and/or sexual manner) if you consistently exhibit behavior that is non-confident and egotistically insecure. Women are most attracted to men who are highly self-assured and maintain an above-average degree of personal self-esteem. Always be consciously aware of the tangible and intangible value of your attention and social companionship. (Note: Look into listening to my audiobook, Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking; I elaborate in more detail about self-confidence with women)
REASON #4: YOU NEVER PUT FORTH MORE EFFORT TO SECURE A WOMAN’S ATTENTION and COMPANIONSHIP THAN SHE PUTS FORTH TO SECURE YOUR ATTENTION and COMPANIONSHIP
Comment: You can never, ever give any woman the impression that you are ‘desperate’ and/or ‘overanxious’ to share her company socially or sexually. This is a major turn-off for most women. Once a woman senses that you are an ‘emotionally needy’ type, she will either a) leave you alone immediately and ignore you indefinitely, or she will b) look to exploit you for every ounce of financial generosity that you have a tendency to offer to women and essentially ‘use you’ for your non-sexual attention and companionship for a good number of days, weeks, or months until she gets bored with you. (Note: Look into listening to my audiobook, The Possibility of Sex: How Naive and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly; I elaborate how women regularly use and exploit men for their non-sexual companionship and their financial generosity)
REASON #3: YOU ARE NOT AFRAID TO TREAT ANY WOMAN YOU MEET LIKE SHE’S ‘JUST ANOTHER WOMAN YOU WANT TO F*CK’
Comment: There are some women who will only engage in sexual relations with men who are their husband, fiancé, or long-term boyfriend. Then there are other women who are open to and willing to engage in one or more episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with men of their choice. If you have no idea which of the two categories that a woman validly falls into, my recommendation to you would be that it is ALWAYS better to confidently assume that a woman falls into the latter category (and possibly be proven wrong in that assumption) than to naively assume that each and every woman you meet falls into the former category. (Note: Look into listening to my audiobook, Oooooh … Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex; I go into detail in examining those women who I refer to as ‘Wholesome Pretenders,’ which are women who pretend to be in the first category but are really in the second category)
REASON #2: YOU DON’T TOLERATE ANY BEHAVIOR FROM WOMEN THAT YOU PERCEIVE AS DISRESPECTFUL and/or UNDESIRABLE
Comment: If you already read my article, Alpha males vs. Beta males, you already know that one of the primary personality differences between men who I refer to as Alpha males and those men who I generally refer to as Beta males is that Alpha males have a strong sense of backbone with women. In simple terms, to have ‘backbone’ means that you rarely if ever allow other people (and particularly women) to talk to you or treat you in a manner that is not to your liking. On the other hand, a man who is weak with no backbone would be a man who very frequently allows women (and even other men) to talk to them and treat them in a manner that is blatantly disrespectful and generally not to their liking. The two things all men have control over is this: 1) HOW YOU CHOOSE TO TREAT OTHERS, and 2) HOW YOU CHOOSE TO ALLOW OTHERS TO TREAT YOU. Keep this in mind. (Note: Look into listening to my audiobook, The Beta Male Revolution: Why Many Men Have Totally Lost Interest in Marriage in Today’s Society; I elaborate on the various personality differences between an Alpha male and a Beta male)
REASON #1: YOU ALWAYS MAINTAIN MULTIPLE OPTIONS FOR FEMALE COMPANIONSHIP
Comment: Quickly refer back up to my analogy of being the employee of XYZ company. Here is the most real talk I will ever give you as a Men’s Dating Coach: Women are most attracted to men who they feel WANT their attention and companionship, but at the same time, DON’T NEED IT. There is a HUGE difference between HAVING A DESIRE for a woman’s attention and companionship, and DESPERATELY NEEDING a woman’s attention and companionship.
The main weakness of ‘nice guy’ types and ‘gentleman’ types is that they are way too accommodating with women, way too flattering toward women, and way too tolerant of behavior from women that they do not particularly care for. Men who are more ‘bad boy’ types and ‘jerk types’ know exactly what type of companionship they want from women (usually, romantic and/or sexual as opposed to platonic), and they make it clear to women exactly what their romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions are from the very beginning. If the women who they are attracted to even seem remotely uninterested, they quickly move on the next woman of interest. Period. If ‘nice guys’ are unable to secure a woman’s romantic and/or sexual companionship, what they will often do is ‘settle’ for a woman’s purely platonic companionship indefinitely. ‘Bad boy’ types NEVER do that. EVER. No ‘FunClubbing’ for them whatsoever.
Women are naturally hypergamous. What this means in simple terms is that women gravitate most toward the men who they feel that other women have a strong attraction to and a strong desire to be with. Similar to how investors tend to be attracted to those stocks that they know others are interested in snatching up with a quickness (what is known as a ‘hot stock’). Confident, womanizing Alpha males with a strong sense of backbone have a way of bringing out a woman’s ultra-feminine side, her obedient and submissive side, and her underrated hypergamous side. Keep this in mind.
For more advice and insight about improving your Social Market Value and Sexual Marketplace Value with women, check out my ebooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks. Also check out all my previous articles HERE.