Recently, I recorded and uploaded a new video podcast on YouTube, and in the comments section, a particular YouTube user posted a comment where he said that another professional dating coach “offered advice that was more tailor-made to the ‘new wave’ of women” present here in the 21st Century.
I have read a number of comments beginning with December 2017 that have suggested that my advice to single heterosexual men, that primarily centers on what I refer to as The Mode One Approach, is somehow “antiquated,” “outdated,” and “out of touch with the challenges of single men in the 21stt Century.”
Many men have implied or suggested that women’s behavior toward men has changed more drastically over the last fifteen years or so than at any period of time in the last one-hundred years.
Oh, really now?
I am going to briefly examine what changed about women’s behavior between two periods of the same approximate length:
- January 1960 – December 1974
- January 2003 – December 2017
1960 – 1974
If you were to evaluate women’s general behavior toward men before January 1960 … and after December 1974 … there was a huge difference.
A number of significant events took place during this time, including but not limited to . . .
- The introduction of the birth control pill
- The Second Wave of Feminism
- The Gay & Lesbian Liberation Movement
- The Free Love Movement / Sexual Revolution
- Roe vs. Wade / The Legalization of Abortion
The Introduction of the Birth Control Pill
Arguably, nothing freed up women’s desire to indulge in episodes of sex with men outside the context of marriage than the introduction of the birth control pill contraceptive method. Prior to the availability of the birth control pill, the vast majority of women were extremely reluctant to engage in sexual relations with men who were not their husband. The risk of becoming impregnated without being married, and the shame and embarrassment that would come along with an out-of-wedlock pregnancy, was just too steep of a price for most women to want to pay.
The Second Wave of Feminism
Prior to the 1960s, women were generally considered to be the “property” of their fathers, and later, their husbands. Then, beginning with the end of World War II up until the beginning of the 1960s, women began demanding more personal rights and civil liberties for themselves, and greater opportunities to gain better employment and higher salaries.
The Gay & Lesbian Liberation Movement
Prior to the 1960s, the vast majority of men and women who were homosexual or bisexual generally kept their sexual preferences very private and extremely confidential. The 1960s witnessed many men and women “coming out of the closet” to make it publicly known that they preferred to engage sex with members of their own gender, or members of both genders, as opposed to members of the opposite sex.
The Free Love Movement / Sexual Revolution
Once the Second Wave of Feminism shifted into high gear, and many women found themselves maintaining prescriptions for the birth control pill, the days of limiting sexual enjoyment and satisfaction to a heterosexual couple who were legally married was fading and fading fast. Men and women began engaging in sex regularly without being married, and many times, without any long-term strictly monogamous commitment maintained at all (i.e., men and women began frequently engaging in long-term non-monogamous sex a.k.a. polyamory and short-term non-monogamous a.k.a. ‘casual’ sex). Pornography began to be shown in small-to-medium sized movie theaters in different cities across the U.S. beginning with the mid-to-late 1960s and early 1970s.
Roe vs. Wade / The Legalization of Abortion
Probably the last major social shift to take place at the end of the fifteen-year period between January 1960 – December 1974 was the landmark legal decision known as “Roe vs. Wade,” which made abortion legal in many of the states in the U.S. Now, if women were to become impregnated by a man who was not their husband, they could choose to abort their pregnancy.
2003 – 2017
Now, let us examine that fifteen-year period between January 2003 and December 2017. What events happened during period that would result in a major shift in women’s behavior toward men?
- The Growing Popularity of the Internet and Social Media websites
- The Fourth Wave of Feminism
- Sexual Harassment (both in the professional workplace and out in the streets)
- The Rise of College Campus Date Rape & Murderous “Incel” Incidents (#YesAllWomen)
- The #MeToo and #TimesUp Movements
The Growing Popularity of the Internet and Social Media websites
If there is one major complaint that many men who are between the age of roughly 18 and 35 have expressed quite frequently in the last few years, it is the criticism that women have become incorrigible social media “Attention Whores.” In today’s society, the “selfie” is the thing, and women love posting photos of themselves in sexually provocative clothing in order to attract flattering attention from horny and sexually desperate men.
The Fourth Wave of Feminism
The Fourth Wave of Feminism has primarily centered on issues related to sexual harassment (both in the professional workplace and out in the street), sexual assault (including rape and date-rape), as well as “slut shaming” and physical violence & gun violence against women.
Sexual Harassment (both in the professional workplace and out in the streets)
Sexual harassment first came to the forefront in 1991 because of Anita Hill’s allegations against then Supreme Court Justine Nominee Clarence Thomas. Allegations of Sexual Harassment multiplied significantly in the early 2000s, and the attention on workplace sexual harassment has been very much magnified. In the last ten years, complains of sexual misconduct and sexual harassment have gone beyond the professional workplace environment to the point where many women have accused unknown male acquaintances of “harassing” them while they’re engaged in a routine activity such as walking down the street in a major city.
The Rise of College Campus Date Rape Incidents & Murderous Incel Incidents (#YesAllWomen)
In the 21st Century, a number of articles have been written emphasizing what has come to be known as the growing “rape culture” in America. Statistics (which have often been challenged) suggest that the number of date-rape incidents on college campuses has increased exponentially since the 1990s. To exacerbate things, women now find themselves concerned with lonely, sexually frustrated men known as “incels” who have in some instances, maintained homicidal and suicidal tendencies such as Elliot Rodger.
The #MeToo and #TimesUp Movements
No two movements have come to the forefront for women in 2016, 2017, and 2018 more than the #MeToo movement and the #TimesUp movement. Many wealthy, powerful, and influential men have lost their careers and high-status positions because of both movements. The door has now been open for women to accuse men of sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and sexual misconduct toward them dating back five, ten, fifteen, or twenty or more years ago. The social environment between many men and women has become one of “He Say, She Say.”
WHICH 15-YEAR PERIOD CHANGED WOMEN THE MOST?
I would argue that both periods have caused dynamic shifts in women’s attitudes and behavior toward men, but in far different ways.
The period between 1960 and 1974 caused women to become very comfortable with the idea of engaging in sex with men before marriage, and generally outside the context of marriage. On the other hand, the period between 2003 and 2017 has made many women view men as physically forceful, overly-aggressive “sexual predators” who will resort to any means necessary to satisfy their sexual self-gratification needs and urges, even if it includes rape, date-rape, and other similar forms of sexual abuse and sexual assault.
Is Alan Roger Currie’s Mode One Approach “outdated” and “ineffective” with women of the 21st Century?
I believe quite the contrary. In today’s dating scene, I believe it is more important than ever for single heterosexual men to make their sexual desires, interests, and intentions crystal clear to women before proceeding with an attempt to engage in oral sex and/or intercourse with them. The issue of “mutual consent” is bigger than ever between men and women, even including those who are in relationships or married.
A man expressing his true sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women in a bold, upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest manner will never become antiquated and/or ineffective. The Mode One Approach will prevent men from finding themselves in a compromising position with women for years, decades, and centuries to come.
Note: Columnist Alan Roger Currie will not have a published article posted on the following dates due to his travel schedule and/or vacation plans:
- Monday, November 26, 2018
- Monday, December 24, 2018
- Monday, December 31, 2018
Senior writer Alan Roger Currie was recently named the 2017 Charles Tyler Freelance Writer & Columnist of the Year for the NegroManosphere.com, and he was also named the NegroManosphere.com’s 2017 Best Dating Coach for Men on YouTube and 2017 Black Male YouTube Personality of the Year. More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions. Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships. If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks. Currie has been a featured speaker at many dating advice workshops for men in the United States as well as internationally. Currie was the first African-American to be a featured speaker at The 21 Convention and was a featured speaker for the second time on Saturday, October 13, 2018 in Orlando, Florida. If you want to become a Patreon.com subscriber of Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie, CLICK HERE