2 Lessons Black Women Should Learn From TI and Tiny’s Pending Divorce

It’s pretty common knowledge at this point to even a casual observer that TI. and Tiny’s marriage is on the life support at this point. On the most current episode of their reality show, Family Hustle, the two are shown having a conversation. In the conversation, TI says that he’s outgrown her and thinks that its best that just move forward with the divorce.

Needless to say, this created all manner of negative response from the black female contingency.  The most common of which being that TI cheated on her and he couldn’t handle being cheated on.   I did an article, The Real Lesson Black Women Should Learn From The Jessie Williams Fall From Grace, in which I broke down the real lesson to be learned. In similar fashion, I will do the same here.  If we look a little deeper than the surface, there are 2 lessons to be learned from this situation that women, but in this case, especially black women can and should learn. So without further ado, here we go:

Lesson 1: Don’t Do Anything In The Beginning That You Aren’t Willing to Keep Doing

My grandmother, like a lot of people’s grandmothers I would assume, is full of wisdom. At 35, I consider myself fortunate to still have her around as she approaches her eighth decade here on God’s green earth.  When I was younger man, about 20 or so, she gave me piece of dating advice that I’ve never forgotten. She told me that you can only expect people to be how they were when you met them. So, how does this relate to the situation at hand? Let’s dive in. Now, obviously, I don’t know TI or Tiny personally. However if rumors are to be believed, the two of them often engaged in threesomes. It has been said that they also had were swingers at one point or various points in time as well.

Now, the sisterhood contends that this was done in attempt to make her man happy and to keep him.   Of course could’ve said no or that she wasn’t into that if she wasn’t, but we all know that is never discussed. Why?  Women can never be held accountable for their actions or choices. It always has to be rationalized away or blame cast on someone else.  The simple fact is if the rumors of threesomes and swinging are true then she has no right to expect a relationship that doesn’t involve extramarital affairs. After all, apparently that’s the way he was when you met him. Furthermore, she enabled this behavior by partaking in that lifestyle.  So why now is his infidelity a big deal? TI, according to Tiny herself has been cheating on her for years. So, again, why is it big deal or a problem now? If she wasn’t ok with it back then, or at any other point for that matter, why did she stay?  The bottom line is that once you start doing something in a relationship to get someone or make them happy in, you have to keep doing to continue to do so.  She set a precedent that she wasn’t willing to follow, but expected him to change.

 

Lesson 2: Be Careful What You Wish For, Because You Might Just Get It

My father told me once that the key to a compelling bluff is that sometimes, you actually have to be holding all the right cards.  Now that axiom is true in poker, but it holds true in life as well.  So again, let’s apply this to this situation. Now after all the drama, the back and forth on social media, TV, and the like, Tiny decided she had enough and threatened him with a divorce. Now again, I don’t know either of them personally, but given the fact the he was willing to take a charge and do some time for her, I’m going to assume that he loves her and his family. Now, at this point, inevitably, the question from the black female consortium well be, if he loves her so much why does he cheat? The answer, in his case in my opinion is twofold, yet still simple.  The first of which is that she has allowed it all these years. The second of which is that love and sex aren’t related. They can be and are independent of one another. By and large men don’t cheat to hurt a woman, but admittedly, they are often hurt in the process. If a man wants to hurt a woman, he’d be better served leaving her.

My personal belief is that Tiny cheated, or at least let it be suggested that she did by being seen with Floyd Mayweather, a man that she knows is her husband’s enemy, to hurt him. She filed for divorce to hurt him. She hedged her bet that if pressed, he would choose his family and not go through with the divorce.  To use my father’s words, she wasn’t holding all the cards when she made her bluff. Or, in even more practical terms, she wasn’t willing to see her threat through.

That brings us to where we started. TI said on the latest episode of their reality show, that he wants to ahead with the divorce and she’s been crying ever since and make the rounds to garner sympathy. The outpouring of support and sympathy ( simpathy) for her has been loud, and the bashing of TI equally so. Why? This is what she claimed that she wanted, right? The simple truth at play here is that the TI called her bluff like it had a phone number. As James Brown famously said, it’s time for the big the payback.  I’m a firm believer that one doesn’t have to experience everything.  In fact, a wise person learns from the folly of others. Let this be a lesson sisters, don’t do something in the beginning that you aren’t willing to keep doing later. What you did to get him is what you got to do to keep him. When you make a threat, be prepared to make good on it. If not, you may find yourself like Tiny.

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