Son Husbands

There is a growing epidemic in the black community that is so taboo that it is rarely talked about. And it seems to get worse with every generation. We all see it and for the most part, we all ignore it. What I’m speaking of is the inappropriate and sometimes incestuous relationship between single mothers and their sons. Now, most would dismiss the inappropriate nature of most of these relationships, chalking it up to the traditional mother-son relationship… But this is a far cry from that. Some of the horror stories will make even the most desensitized of us squirm in our seats. The abuse of these boys by their own mothers is both shocking and alarming. But before we get into the details, we need to examine where this began. It first began with the emergence of baby mama/single mother culture and the ever-growing absence of fathers in the household. Fathers complete the family unit and the absence of them creates a void. And as we all know, void has to be filled.

Women of the past would fill this void with a new boyfriend or husband that’s suitable and qualified for the role. However, they realized that qualified, successful men demand respect, submissiveness and accountability which is too much responsibility and work. So, women today have opted out of the traditional relationship, seeking men who have achieved very little to nothing at all. The thinking behind this is that men who have nothing will require nothing. Plus, this type of man will be dependent upon her for his livelihood. In fact, the ultimate goal of the single mother is to possess a man that she can control. Thus, began the relationship between the single mother and the Madden King. For those of you unfamiliar with the latter term, a Madden King is a guy who doesn’t have a job and spends his days at home playing Madden or NBA2K on Xbox or Playstation. Originally the Madden King was a good fit for the single mother, because he provided the duel function of boyfriend and babysitter. But more than anything, he provided attention, protection, and DOD (Dick on Demand). The only problem (which ironically was the biggest problem) is the fact that the Madden King is not a provider. He offers very little to no money towards the household. In fact, the single mother pays his bills and offers her car as his transportation. This creates a huge problem resulting in a culture of dysfunctional relationships. All due to the single mother’s futile attempt at having her cake and eating it too.

So, although the Madden King fulfills most of the single mother’s needs, he’s lacking in the one area that’s the most vital. Being a good provider. Having to choose between a provider or a non-provider puts the single mother between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, she can choose a provider at the cost of having absolute control or pick a non-provider to maintain control but at the cost of monetary help. A more logical thinking creature would pick one or the other and be done with it, realizing everything has its tradeoffs. Not the single mother. Her delusions of grandeur will allow nothing short of the perfect situation. So how can she have the best of both worlds? How can she get a provider that she can control that will not only fulfill all her needs, but will feel obligated to do so?

The simple answer is to raise one. Que the Son Husband. This phenomenon began as a result of sons feeling an obligation to take care of their mothers. Especially those mothers who seem to have extreme difficulty finding and maintaining a long-term relationship, i.e. baby mamas and single mothers. This can be extremely stressful for a small boy given his natural inclination to provide. That coupled with his feelings of powerlessness almost guarantees he will spend his adolescent years trying to improve his mother’s condition, thus improving his own. Examples of this are the Derrick Roses and to a lesser extent the would-be drug dealers who Hustle in hopes of one day buying his mama a house. Yeah, that old cliché. That in itself isn’t a problem. However, it becomes a problem when the mother plays on the sympathy of an immature, underdeveloped male in order to capitalize on his ignorance of female fuckery. This form of manipulation goes overlooked by everyone due to the fact that most people believe women are the best stewards of children. Nothing could be further from the truth. Many of the women in question suffer from various mental issues which include borderline personality disorder, narcissism, bipolar disorder, and others issues too numerous to mention. Hence their inability to keep and maintain healthy relationships. The expectations of these women are often unrealistic and illogical. Some mothers not only encourage their sons to provide for them, but outright demand it. Now as I stated before, there’s nothing wrong with a son looking out for the well being of his mother. However, it becomes an issue of psychological abuse when the mother expects her son to provide her with things she should have already acquired long before she even considered having a child. Such as a home or a way to provide.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there. In these Son Husbands, single mothers have found someone they can control and manipulate monetary support from. But what about their other needs? This is where it becomes disturbing. Many believe that these women are engaging in incestuous relationships with their sons. Go to any social media site and you will find mountains of mother/son selfies. Many of them labeled, “Me and the man of the house, my king, or my one true love.” If statements like this weren’t enough to raise eyebrows, there’s actually videos of when French kissing their sons. Not to mention women who proudly admit that share a bed with their son. Some even admit to being nude or showering with their sons. What’s truly alarming about this behavior is the fact that it’s accepted or overlooked at the least. No one seems to view this for what it actually is. Child abuse. The psychological damage being done to these boys is beyond excusable. Some sons never leave their mother’s side, well into manhood. And those who manage to leave their mother find it difficult to maintain relationships due to the mental issues created by the Oedipal style relationship with their mother. And those who can maintain a healthy relationship with a woman other than their mother, are met with all kinds of problems due to their mother’s jealousy of the, “New Woman,” in his life. Some mothers are so attached and intrusive that they actually manage to destroy the relationship. No different than a jealous ex-girlfriend. The new woman doesn’t want the drama that comes with a, “Mama’s Boy,” and simply cuts her loses.

In the climate of today’s gynocentric society, I don’t see this problem being addressed, much less solved. However I do believe this is one of the largest, most overlooked problems in the black community. In fact, I believe this is the true source of simps, white knights, manginas, etc. Black boys are being destroyed either through planned parenthood abortions or psychological indoctrination. And something needs to be done to stop it. Immediately.

The Angryman

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  • Thanks 4 this article AngryMan! I was trying desperately to explain this type of scenario to my friend because it’s the same situation his baby mother is in with their son. She is acting as though she is grieving because he wants to move out at 18 and in with his father. It’s not as though there is any animosity between the mother & son or he will never see her again (He’s moving 15 minutes away) but as he has been the only real source of income in the home (child support/welfare) and the only constant in her life for the last 17 years (due to her own issues) now that he wants to move on and begin his adult life, she is doing everything in her power to guilt trip him and manipulate him into staying with her. Women like this have no control over anything in their life except their children and its’s such a shame they will harm or hinder their progress in order to fulfill their own needs. smh

    • will

      Bladmin is angryman?

  • K.C.

    I have used this term for a while to explain these relationships. I think one place you should delve a little deeper is into the public policies that have had an impact on the destruction of the black family to render the community lifeless and devoid of productive black men. i.e. welfare policies, criminalization of black men, the prison industrial complex. Also note that this phenom is not only instigated by the baby mama herself but things related to lack of education, job preparedness and plain old common sense needs to be taken into account.