One of the most important decisions a man will make in his life is not what he will do for a living. It’s not what his political, social, religious, or economic philosophies will be. It’s not where he will live. All of these decisions are very important but there is one decision that he will make that can unravel a lifetime of choices. That decision is the woman he will decide to share his life with. This one decision which, unfortunately, many men take for granted can literally make or break a man.
There was a young man once who had ambition to do great things. He wanted to become a medical professional to follow in a long line of professionals in his family. He started college in pursuit of his goal. During a break from school he met up with his girlfriend who didn’t have an interest in college. They had sex several times during his break. The young man went back to school. A month later the young lady told the young man she was pregnant. Now this was back in the day when single motherhood was frowned upon and young men would be pressured to marry any woman they got pregnant. No problem, the couple got married. The young man knew he could still go to school and take care of a wife. The only problem was that the young woman didn’t want to leave her family to go to another city. The young man was forced to drop out of school and take a different career path. As the marriage progressed and more children showed up the man became resentful. The reason was that no matter what he wanted to do she would be resistant. One time when the young lady didn’t want to go along with the plan, the young man became angry and hit his wife. This started a decade’s long pattern of physical and emotional abuse. On a deep level the man blamed the woman for derailing his dreams.
Is this a true story? For millions of men it is very true. It has happened in the past and continues to happen in the present day. Unless men collectively make some changes it will happen in the future.
A man will only rise as high as his woman wants him to rise. It’s not that in most cases she is controlling him. It’s that she is holding him back. Let me use an analogy. Say a man and woman are on a journey and they come upon a wall. In order to continue their journey they have no choice but to climb the wall. The man climbs the wall first with some rope. He reaches the top of the wall and throws the rope back. The woman grabs the rope and seems like she is ready to be pulled up. The man starts to pull and it feels difficult. He can’t seem to pull her up. She’s not that heavy. What’s the problem? He looks at her and discovers the problem. While he is pulling up, she is pulling down. She is trying to pull him off the wall. The man is at the crossroads. Does he cut the rope and go to the other side? Does he climb back down to his woman? Many men reach that crossroads and make the decision to go to the woman.
Understand, understand, understand one thing about women, regardless of their race, ethnic group, or nationality. Women are self-centered beings who are ruthless about fulfilling THEIR agenda. A woman is ruthless to the point of actively interfering with a man’s agenda if it doesn’t match hers. A woman will see a man trying to do something with his life and make it her mission to see that he doesn’t succeed. If one examines the lives of a man who fails in life there is always a woman in the mix somewhere.
Now at the same time there are women who are mature enough to realize that if that man succeeds then she will reap the benefits of that success. Those women are like gold because they will do EVERYTHING in their power to help the man live his dreams. Indeed his dreams will become her dreams.
A man must always find out the mindset of a woman before he so much as shares a hug with her. I’m very serious. He shouldn’t touch a woman beyond a handshake until he knows her thinking. Many men see a sexy woman and want to have their way with her right away. A man who is trying to do something with his life needs to get to know that woman. A popular comedian told women to make a man wait 90 days before having sex. I say a man should wait at least a few weeks before having sex with a woman. In the meantime he needs to interview her.
The man needs to find out her philosophy on as many things as possible. He needs to find out about her life agenda. He needs to make a determination as to how her agenda will fit in with his. If their agendas don’t match he needs to let her walk. I recommend not even having casual sex with her because if she gets pregnant a man will have to deal with her for at least 18 years and that in itself can derail his plans. In talking to her the man needs to weigh EVERYTHING she says and does.
For the men reading this, focus on your agenda. Only deal with a woman who fully supports YOUR agenda. Take your time getting to know her. Your life depends on you making the right decision. Otherwise a woman will pull you down to her level.