Alpha males vs. Beta Males

I have been a professional dating coach since early 2006 (informally, even before that), and if there is one question I receive almost equally from both men and women is, “Alan, why do you differentiate between ‘alpha’ males and ‘beta’ males so much?  Aren’t men just men?”

Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the reality is, not all men are created equal in the eyes of women.  You have tall men, short men, wealthy men, poor men, intelligent men, not-so-bright men, handsome men, not-so-attractive men, and so on and so on and so on.

I would assert that there are at least five characteristics that separate what I refer to as an ‘Alpha’ male from a ‘Beta’ male:

  • On a scale from “1” to “5,” how much are you willing to adjust, change, or modify your behavior for the sole and specific purpose of attracting a woman, impressing a woman, and generally maintaining her interest?  If you’re VERY LIKELY to do so, then your response should be anywhere from “3.1” to “5.0”; If you’re NOT LIKELY at all to adjust your behavior for the sole and specific purpose of pleasing and accommodating a woman, then your response should be anywhere from “1.0” to “2.9”; If you feel like you are ‘right on the borderline,’ then your response should be “3.0”
  • On a scale from “1” to “5,” how much are you willing to compromise with a woman and suppress many of your true thoughts, opinions, desires, interests, and intentions in order to make a marriage or long-term relationship last indefinitely?  If you’re VERY LIKELY to do so, then your response should be anywhere from “3.1” to “5.0”; If you’re NOT LIKELY at all to offer any compromises and/or suppress any of your true thoughts and desires in order to make a romantic relationship last, then your response should be anywhere from “1.0” to “2.9”; If you feel like you are ‘right on the borderline,’ then your response should be “3.0”
  • On a scale from “1” to “5,” how much enjoyment and genuine satisfaction do you gain from spending time with women in a totally non-physical, non-sexual, purely platonic manner?  If you experience a LOT of enjoyment and gain a LOT of genuine satisfaction from spending a lot of time with women in a non-physical, non-sexual, purely platonic manner, then your response should be anywhere from “3.1” to “5.0”;  If you experience NO ENJOYMENT WHATSOEVER and find yourself feeling AGITATED and/or FRUSTRATED after you have spent a considerable amount of time in a woman’s presence without being able to make out with her and/or engage in sexual relations with her, then your response should be anywhere from “1.0” to “2.9”; If you feel like you are ‘right on the borderline,’ then your response should be “3.0”
  • On a scale from “1” to “5,” how much money are you willing to spend on a woman prior to engaging in sex with her?  Similarly, are you willing to offer a woman a promise of long-term monogamy in exchange for gaining the opportunity to have sex with her?  If you’re VERY LIKELY to spend $100.00 or more on a woman prior to having sex with her and/or you are willing to offer a woman a promise of long-term monogamy prior to having sex with her for the first time, then your response should be anywhere from “3.1” to “5.0”;  If you’re UNLIKELY to spend a minimum of $100.00 on a woman prior to having sex with her and/or you are totally unlikely to offer a woman any sort of promise of long-term monogamy at all, then your response should be anywhere from “1.0” to “2.9”; If you feel like you are ‘right on the borderline,’ then your response should be “3.0”
  • Finally, on a scale from “1” to “5,” how do you react when women harshly criticize you, insult you, or say negative things about you (either to your face or behind your back)?  Do you become defensive, argumentative, and/or emotionally sensitive in response to criticisms and insults expressed by women?  Or not really?  If it REALLY BOTHERS YOU for a woman to label you a ‘jerk,’ an ‘asshole,’ or other similar disparaging label, then your response should be anywhere from “3.1” to “5.0”;  If harsh subjective criticisms, petty insults, and disparaging labels do not bother you or leave you feeling agitated in the least bit, then your response should be anywhere from “1.0” to “2.9”; If you feel like you are ‘right on the borderline,’ then your response should be “3.0”

Now.  Tally up your numbers.

If your cumulative total is somewhere between 5.0 and 9.9, then you are what I refer to as a ‘Total Alpha male.’  If your cumulative total is somewhere between 10.0 and 14.9, then you are what I refer to as an ‘Alpha male with a few Beta traits & tendencies.’  If your cumulative total is somewhere between 15.0 and 20.9, then you are what I refer to as a ‘Beta male with a few Alpha traits & tendencies.’  If your cumulative total is between 21.0 and 25.0, then you are what I refer to as a ‘Total Beta male.’

One of the reasons why many women engage in so many ‘manipulative head games’ with men is to help them determine if you are an Alpha male, a Beta male, or an Alpha/Beta or Beta/Alpha.  The more ‘alpha’ women perceive you to be, the easier it will be for you to persuade a woman to engage in short-term and/or non-monogamous sex with you.  The more ‘beta’ women perceive you to be, the more likely these women will only gravitate toward you for non-sexual attention and companionship and financial favors only.

If you need tips on weeding out a lot of your ‘beta’ traits and replacing them with more ‘alpha’ traits, check out my books and audiobooks.

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About Alan Roger Currie 29 Articles
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks, and is best known for the ground-breaking best-seller "Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking"; Currie is also a professional Men's Dating Coach who has worked with clients all over the world, and has conducted speaking engagements and workshops in many cities both in the U.S. and internationally. Contact him at coaching@modeone.net