It’s no secret that being a man in the Western Hemisphere in 2016 is becoming increasingly difficult—and thanks to feminism, sometimes even criminal. Being a black man, however, is exponentially more burdensome.
Between having to make both hands visible while narrating to police officers our present and future movements to avoid getting shot or tased and dealing with media stereotypes that portray us as “thugs” which, incidentally enough, contributes to the aforementioned treatment from law enforcement, life as a black man in America is arduous to put it lightly.
While I could wax poetic in a three-part column about the measures black men should take to avoid a negative encounter with the cops, I’m going to talk about a few changes we should make to start improving our lives both in the short and long term.
Let’s get to it
3. Ditch R&B and listen to Rap
The main stream manosphere has two expressions that embody the difference between rap music and R&B: Red pill and blue pill.
As most of you probably already know, the term “Red pill” used in this sector of the web is a pseudonym for being unplugged or enlightened borrowed from the 1999 motion picture, The Matrix.
How that analogy applies here is that a few of us have figured out what a lot of men have been suspicious of for quite some time: We’ve been sold a bad bill of goods by the culture at large (fueled, of course, by feminism) with regards to how to obtain, cultivate, and nurture healthy relationships with women. Thanks to the manosphere more of us now know the truth about what it really takes.
The parallel between red pill vs. blue pill and rap vs. R&B is exactly what it sounds like. Rap is red pill, R&B is blue pill. Most rap music, old school and new school, tells it like it is in terms of what women are really like and smooth jams all but worship women for the sole reason of having a vagina.
Rappers of yesteryear like Dr. Dre and Ice Cube to today’s hip hop stars such as Lil’ Wayne and 50 Cent have never had a problem talking about the true nature of women in the recording studio. For that reason there’s little reason to wonder why hard core and gangster rap have been under constant scrutiny by women and their army of simps for as long as it’s been around.
At the other end of the spectrum, we have groups from back in the day like Boyz II Men and Shai to today’s purveyors of pussy worship such as Drake and Bruno Mars steering men in the wrong direction. Their consistent reverence for snatch has permeated and warped the minds of males for decades and have created a generation of men who require nothing from women because of the opening between their legs.
Like it or not, no man is immune to the constant influence of mainstream media and the toxic gyno-centric culture around us. Sure, we can minimize our exposure to it but at the end of the day it impacts all of us more than we realize. Music is at or near the top of the list in terms of what we internalize as truth almost involuntarily.
For this reason, deleting all simp-enabling tracks from your playlist(s) will improve your game immediately. Put simply, listening to shit that keeps it 100 on the regular like this:
I wasn’t born last night
I know these hoes ain’t right
But you was blownin’ up her phone last night
But she ain’t have her ringer nor her ring on last night, oh
Nigga, that’s that nerve
Why give a bitch your heart
When she rather have a purse?
…rather than music that quite literally forces you internalize a Captain Save-A-Ho mindset…like this bullshit:
Fuck that nigga that you love so bad
I know you still think about the times we had
I say fuck that nigga that you think you found
And since you picked up I know he’s not around
…helps keep your mind free of the narrative that females are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice—which at this point we all know to an egregious falsehood.
2. Get your financial house in order
Getting your finances in order is obviously not something you can do overnight. This takes time, temperance, and sometimes requires adjustments on the fly as the result of unexpected circumstances rearing their ugly heads (i.e. car trouble, illness, family emergency, et al.)
But it starts with making a conscious decision to gain control of your bottom line by realigning your priorities in terms of what’s in your best interest financially both short and long term.
I was as guilty of having my priorities out of whack as any man out there. But when I made the decision to put a stop to frivolous and unnecessary spending, my fiscal outlook improved in a hurry. There are many things I do today to make ensure I’m always in the black and I’ll include a few of those in a bit.
For now I’ll talk about the 3 biggest hindrances to a man achieving financial solvency.
I. Your car
Every man inherently understands that women will be much more attracted to a man driving a Bugatti than a man driving a dusty ass ’95 Buick pick-a-model. While those examples are extreme, the fact of the matter is that the better a vehicle you’re pushin’, the more pussy will be available to you.
That said, too many black men out here are prioritizing pussy over peace of mind. We hit the car lot financing vehicles we can barely afford (not to mention the elevated insurance costs that come with them) and a few months down the line we’re looking out the window every 3 minutes to make sure it’s still there for fear of the dreaded repo man. I speak from personal experience.
Don’t get me wrong, picking up girls is great and driving a nice car certainly helps grease the skids of pussy plundering success. But if your payment leaves you broke every month it’s not worth it—not even close.
No, I’m not suggesting going to the extreme and spending $750 on an ’84 Honda Accord that’s sure to be in the shop every week. But by the same token financing a Benz with a $750 monthly payment is equally foolhardy.
The most financially prudent solution is to save between $3,000 and $5,000 and buy a car outright. The next best thing if you don’t have that kind of coin right now is to finance a vehicle with a payment that doesn’t starve your bank account every month.
Let’s be real fellas. Buying a car you can’t afford is a bad, and very expensive way to compensate for your lack of game. Six and seven figure vehicles notwithstanding, it doesn’t matter what you drive. If you don’t have solid game you ain’t gettin’ them draws, playa.
If you save your money and learn game, you’ll quickly figure out that you don’t have to push a luxury vehicle to score top notch ass on the regular. The extra cash in your pocket doesn’t hurt either.
II. Your Pad
A killer crib can certainly increase your sexual prospects. Get her back to your place and she sees your posh surroundings it’s a wrap. And if your game is on point (read: you fucked her senseless and didn’t act like she was God’s gift to the male species) she’s already thinking about what it would be like to share your abode with you (Yes gents, this is exactly how females think).
But like an overpriced automobile, an abode with unnecessary amenities will put a serious dent in your finances. That’s not counting your 70” flat screen, leather couch, X-box (the fuck you playing video games for anyway?) and every other over priced, non-essential piece of tech that television tells you to buy.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with having a nice place to live and a few cool doo dads to give it some appeal. But struggling to pay the rent because your complex has a pool you’ll never swim in, tennis courts you’ll never play on, and vaulted ceilings isn’t worth being broke every month just to say you live in some “exclusive community.”
Renting a home from a private owner has many advantages. Not the least of which is that it’s almost always less expensive. Most of the time a 2 bedroom house rents for less than a one bedroom luxury apartment with a bunch of extras you’ll never take advantage of.
Like I said when talking about buying an expensive car, living in an opulent condo in an upscale neighborhood you can barely afford is overcompensating for lack of game. Do yourself a favor, jump on Craigslist and find a place you like that will keep your wallet full.
III. Your Clothes
$100 for a pair of “designer” jeans? $50 for a dress shirt?? $200 for a pair of sneakers??? One area Black America has it completely wrong is the monetary value we put in the clothes we wear.
Look, I understand looking good is important. By and large people treat one another based on the way they look. A man dressed like a bum gets treated like one and a man dressed in a suit gets treated with respect. And talking to a long-legged, pert-assed cutie on the subway will go a lot better if your threads are on point.
But when a man sits down and asks himself “Why aren’t I further along in life than I should be?” he’d do well to look in his closet and take inventory. If he’s the kind of dude that likes to keep up with the Jonses as far as his vestment game is concerned, he’ll likely be shocked if he breaks out his calculator and adds up how much he paid for these depreciating assets.
Again, looking your best is paramount when it comes to girls, game, your job, etc. But the sooner you quit shopping at the mall or “outlets” for clothes and stop paying triple figures for sneakers you’ll only wear once a quarter (because who’s gonna wear a $300 pair of sneakers every day?), the better off your financial outlook will be.
Personally, I live in an 800 sq. foot studio downtown, I regularly shop at thrift stores for jeans a
nd dress shirts, regularly rock a pair of $16 skateboard shoes I picked up from Walmart almost a year ago, but I drive a 2012 vehicle free and clear.
Nobody, man or woman knows whether you got your jeans and dress shirt at the Goodwill or an expensive men’s clothing store and they don’t give half a shit if you’re not wearing expensive shoes if your game is on point. All they’re concerned with is how good a time they’re having with you and the way you make them feel.
So take a good hard look at your wheels, your pad, and your threads and cut down on what’s not necessary. It won’t be long before you see that living a kick ass life doesn’t require you to spend a shit load of coin on things that decrease in value over time.
1. Stay the fuck away from black women
Ah, the elephant in the room. Black women. Even those of us who love black women with a passion knows there’s something inherently wrong with the average sister these days. You don’t want to admit it to those around you but we both know fucking with black women these days is a fool’s errand at best, and financial and emotional suicide at worst.
Black men in this country have had it with black chicks. We’re tired of their overbearing personalities that never show a trace of femininity, we’re tired of their engrained entitlement complexes (thanks Tyler Perry!), and we’re sick to death of their unrealistic standards that require us to be over six feet, making six figures, two cars, one percent body fat, and zero kids while they can remain overweight, have multiple kids (often with multiple fathers), and bring little to nothing to the relationship but emotional baggage and a laundry list of what they “require from you if this is gonna work.”
Then they have to gall to shame us for dating outside our race??? (and let’s keep it real fellas…the only race of females they get butt hurt about us dating are white girls).
Fuck. That. Noise.
The average black woman in this country is undateable, unfuckable, and not worth the risk of even spitting game at these days. Black feminism seems intent on making sisters the lowest quality significant others in American history and so far it’s working.
Anyone who’s messed with them on the regular knows the consistent havoc they will wreak on your life. It may not happen immediately. It may not happen down the line. Hell, it may not have even happen until after she manages or weasel her way into your residence for cohabitation or even, dare I say, talk you into marrying her.
But it will happen. It is a mathematical inevitability and you know it. I don’t have to write a 3,000 word article telling you why committing to or even routinely messing with black women will derail and eventually ruin your life.
Making this change alone will drastically improve your life. It’s time to admit it out loud and get on with kicking life’s ass.
A change in music selection, being more financially shrewd, and ditching sisters once and for all isn’t going to suddenly turn you into a stone cold player, instantly make you rich, or make you immune to the temptation of commingling with black women.
But time, discipline, and consistency will ultimately yield results and when that starts to happen you’ll find yourself more content than you’ve been in a while…maybe ever.
There are many other things that we as black men need to change to better our lives and live on our own terms. But these three will get you off to a good start.