A common theme with many Black male social commentators is trying to get Black women to change their negative behavior. Let’s be straight up, there are numerous videos, blogs, social media posts, and even books aimed at getting Black women to change their basic nature. The theme is usually Good Black men trying to get the women to be receptive to their romantic and sexual advances. Of course the women think otherwise and thus the issues. What has happened is that there has developed two general groups of Good Black men in response to this situation.
The first group consists of men who definitely believe in Black love or at the very least like a phat ass. These men despite being the recipient of numerous acts of emotional abuse by the sistas still hold out hope for their Black Queen. There’s nothing wrong with that. Their pleas seem to be falling on deaf ears as the sistas ignore these good brothas in their mad rush to be a notch in the belt of Mr. Goodbar. Even when these men go hard on the sistas it’s more from a place of trying to get their attention.
The second group says, “Forget that!” The second group openly proclaims their disdain of the Black sisterhood. These men promote the beauty and virtues of non-Black women. There men have “been there, done that” with Black women and would rather take their chances and search for greener pastures.
Just to be clear I’m not going to say that these two groups are either right or wrong. They are simply going by their personal experience with Black women. At the core of the issue is whether black women will change their behavior. The first group holds out hope that this will happen. The second group says, “Bump that! I’m getting my passport for Brazil.” So now what? I am of the position that Black women will indeed change their behavior. The issue is the type of man who can cause this type of reaction in a Black woman. These men exist.
I knew a young lady once. This was one of those “independent, strong type of sistas.” She had a high paying professional job, the house and car, everything. On a scale from 1 to 10 I would rate her an adjustable 7. She swore she would never submit to a man and certainly not cook for him. That’s when HE showed up. I’ll call the dude Dexter (I seem to like using that name). Dexter was one of those cats hitting on all cylinders. He was handsome, built, smart and had money. Women also said he was a beast in bed. He got to Ms. Thing and turned her independent phat ass out! This independent woman after the first 10 or so orgasms all of sudden became very domestic. At one point she was ready to leave her profession and be a happy housewife. Dexter ended up dropping her. She wasn’t a good cook and Dexter liked to eat. The point was that she changed her whole life philosophy.
My point is that Black women will change their behavior…for certain men. If Black men want Black women to change the brothas need to collect a whole lot of money. Once the money is collected find the biggest players, bad boys, pretty boys, Macks, and tell them to start going on social media to tell women to change. Think I’m joking. Let me tell you something about women.
If enough of the men Black women want tell them to start wearing headscarves and long skirts I guarantee within a few weeks any business that sells headscarves and long skirts will run out of stock. Despite the smack that women talk by nature they WANT to submit to a man. The catch is that there is only a small group of men that to whom women collectively are willing to submit. It is what it is.
It’s not so much that Black women won’t change. It’s just a matter of the men for whom they are willing make changes.