Men Love Harder Than Women
It’s said that women fall hard, well I’d argue that men fall even harder. When a man is smitten, whipped, in love, etc. there are no levels to how stupidly he can behave in many situations. He will be ready to fight any man who even looks at his girl for more than 3 seconds. He will rob and steal from others just to have money to buy her things that make her happy. But worst of all, he will put her needs and wants over his own life goals and desires. In the hood, we call this being pressed. The term is taken from how an iron is pressed onto an article of clothing very tightly into to get out any wrinkles. When a man becomes pressed over a woman you can be sure that when they break up he will not take it well at all. Men who get dumped, left, and/or cheated on are left in a very depressed state of mind and have been known to act out violently against the woman, or even themselves, especially if there is a child involved. When a woman loves a man it’s on a conditional basis. What this means is that if the man stops providing, or regresses in life in any capacity her love will wain. Yet, when a man loves a woman he does so unconditionally. This means that if she regresses in life, gains some weight, or stops doing the things she initially did in the beginning of the relationship his love will not wain.
Women Are Engineered To Marry Up
You can argue that this is built into women genetically due to how civilization was thousands of years ago. If a man was killed on a hunting expedition, or during war, then a woman would have to move on immediately in order to ensure that her offspring is taken care of. She had no time to grieve and even if the warring tribe captured her village and took her as a concubine at least she would be cared for and not killed or left to wander in the wilderness and die. Times were very barbaric back then. However, now things have changed. We are a much more civilized society and don’t have to worry about our town being raided and pillaged from the next town over. However, a woman’s instinct to self-preserve is still inside of her. Today we have a name for this behavior. It’s called hypergamy. According to the Oxford Dictionary hypergamy can be defined as: “the action of marrying or forming a sexual relationship with a person of a superior sociological or educational background.” Wikipedia explains hypergamy as such: “Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as “marrying up”) is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying a spouse of higher caste or social status than themselves. The antonym “hypogamy” refers to the inverse: marrying a person of lower social class or status (colloquially “marrying down”). Both terms were coined in the Indian subcontinent in the 19th century while translating classical Hindu law books, which used the Sanskrit terms anuloma and pratiloma, respectively, for the two concepts. The term hypergyny is used to describe the overall practice of women marrying up, since the men would be marrying down. How many times can we remember a woman leaving a man who has done nothing wrong just to get with the next man who made more money, or was of higher social status. It certainly happens often. Therefore, as a black man you need to be firm in your convictions and stance. When you and a woman are done, see to it that you are done forever. Never ever take her back.
She Will Never View You The Same
The first reason to never take her back is because she will never respect you in the same manner, or view you in the high esteem that she once did before. When a man allows a woman to walk over him and assert her dominance in the relationship she may seem like she enjoys it, but actually she is turned off because you are showing that you have no backbone and that you can not stand up for yourself. What this signals in her head is that if you will not stand up to her then you won’t stand up to someone who is threatening her and she immediately feels unsafe. It’s a simple sugar-honey-ice-tea test that many men fail because they think that by letting a woman have her way she will love them even more, however, this is far from the truth. A woman will love you even more as you respect yourself and improve your life. When you take her back, even if you were in the wrong, it shows that you have no other options. Out of the billions of other women in the world you still decided to pick her again after you went through a tumultuous situation previously. She may seem happy to be back externally, but internally she will no doubt question why she was able to come back at all.
The Next Man Didn’t Work As Hard
The second reason you should never take your ex back is because the new man she was with more than likely did not have to do any of the work that you had to do in order to get her or keep her. In order for you to get her you had to go all out. This means numerous dinner dates and outings, purchasing gifts from a variety of retail stores, picking her up from work and dropping her off, and going out of your way to prove yourself to her. Does the next guy have to do any of this? No, not at all. All the next guy had to do is not be you and that was enough for her. She was in such a rush to move on from you that she dropped her standards all the way to the floor for the man. Yet, very shortly she realizes that she messed up and she actually misses all of the things that you did for her because because the current man she is with does nothing with her but have sex and maybe eat out occasionally. Therefore, in many cases she will reach back out to you hoping to either double dip and get attention from her current man and you, or she will be looking to come back to you for all of the good treatment you gave her. Not only will she not respect you for taking her back, but her standards will immediately rise again, holding you to a higher standard than she held the next man, once again devaluing you and what you have to offer.
You Deserve Better
The final reason why black men should never take their ex back is because you deserve better. Men are never taught that they deserve the best. Men are only taught how to provide for and take care of a woman, but as a man you actually deserve excellent treatment and care as well. More than likely your ex did not treat you well. This is because she doesn’t feel like you deserve good treatment. She treated you like you were disposable and like you weren’t worth your weight in salt. She barely if ever reciprocated the love and respect you showed for her, and the truth is that she never would have. A woman is not all of a sudden going to start respecting and caring for a man after being with you for a sustained period of time. If she doesn’t respect you in the beginning then she never will. She will still date, and be in a relationship with you, for gratification and security purposes, but just because she got with you doesn’t mean that she respected you. Value yourself and what you bring to the world by never ever getting back with an ex.