Ain’t no party like a Lagos party Nigeria’s superstar Banky W once sang in a song- I totally believe him. The Lagos party scene gets lit and goes on and on; forget all the wilding that has been going down in Miami during spring break.
And Lagos is an oil haven so money ain’t a thing; the only problem actually is how to spend the money. Money is used up to light up the chimney in homes and expensive champagne is used to wash hands as people wait to have a meal.
I mean, I happened to be in Lagos sometime back and trust me there is nothing I didn’t see. The Nigerian night life is not all rosy though; there is some pretty bad behavior which I would like to highlight in this article.
First agenda, Nigerian women need to stop being leeches and actually own up to their drinking. Like how do you join my table, go ahead to finish up two bottles and Hennessy and then disappear into thin air the slightest chance you get? I’m very bitter I became a victim at Club 57 the last time I was in Lagos.
So there I am, minding own business and then these two fine things come and sit next to me in the club. A second later they start chatting me up, telling me I’m cute and shit and the last thing I remember was me chucking my credit card and ordering two bottles of Henny.
They had downed the bottles in a span of two hours and excused themselves to go to the washroom. I figured they had gone to freshen up before we head out to my hotel room for a wild night of debauchery.
I thought wrong because that was the last I saw or heard from them.
And speaking of Nigerian lasses, they need to stop cock blocking their hot friends. Like I mentioned in the last paragraph, I got played and as I sat there feeling dejected, I took the time to observe the relationship dynamics in the club.
One thing was crystal clear, Nigerian lasses are cock blockers-especially the fugly ones. Most of these lasses come in hordes to the club and sit together by themselves. It’s normally a bunch of hot girls with big bums bums and an ugly one who more often than not is the mother hen. And she has one role and one role only, to keep her little horny chicks from straying to prying men. They always do but the mother hen is always there to create a concrete wall. I can’t bring myself to count all the number of dudes I saw fall in that predicament.
So my message to these mother hens, don’t be too uptight and let your girls wild up!
Thirdly, Nigerian guys need to stop shoving their dicks to everything and everyone who cares to open their mouth. Okay we get it- your daddy is a governor and he has stolen a lot of money from the government which you can afford to come blow up in the club. We also get, he owns some oil mines and you guys gross in excess of billions every year from these mines.
The fact remains that we all came to the club to have a good time and not to witness your arrogant childish outbursts of arrogantly castigating everyone.
This reckless behavior caused the DJ to shut down the music the last I was there after some spoilt brats brought their family feuds to the club.
And speaking of Nigerian men, why are they extremely sweet and polite to women outside their home country but total jack asses in their own country. I can’t even begin to count all the number of times I saw them molesting and grabbing women inappropriately. And they do it so shamelessly even having the audacity to insult the said ladies when they protest.
Now how gentlemen do it…or men from Kenya- we identify the girls we want. Approach them, offer to buy them a drink and reveal our intentions-which are of course to fuck.
Lastly, club owners need to invest time and resources in training bouncers on how to handle turnt people. They are intoxicated so no need to beat and haul them out just because they said some demeaning things.
I found Nigerian bouncers to be extremely notorious in this throwing out and assaulting patrons for even the slightest of offences. Like whom do they think pays their bills?