So you recently just sold your affiliate website on Flippa grossing out on a cool 150K grand. What do you do?
You decide to take a little vacay to the motherland with your destination specifically being Nairobi, Kenya.
You have just landed at JKIA, which is basically the international airport in the capital; what do you need to know?
Well, first thing first, Nairobians are pretty aggressive and they are pretty keen on spotting foreigners who are easy prey to con. Con in terms of overpriced taxi fares, hotel services and even tour guide services. It’s basically Kenyan culture for people to always overprice things and thus you need to stay woke. That automatically means you need to work with a legitimate tour company from the beginning which will handle all your travel. But if you are adventurous, then Google is your friend and internet penetration in Nairobi is actually the best in Africa. You will find everything there, even some girls to trickle on.
And speaking of trickling on girls, you need to carry loads and loads of cash because Nairobi girls like being trickled on. They are extremely hot and will show you a good time but all this won’t come cheap. The high end ones will want to pop bottles upon bottles of Ciroc in high end clubs and you need to know when to say no. If they especially happen to suggest you go to B Club in Kilimani, then say NO and hold your ground because they will massacre you. A bottle of Ciroc in the place is roughly around 200 USD and don’t expect a bevy of girls to get drunk on only one bottle. It’s only on the 3rd bottle that they start showing even the slightest signs of getting tipsy.
If you are a wild cat, then there this bar in Nairobi’s CBD that you need to try out called Simmers. Why? Because it has the best mix of Kenyan music, Kenyan cuisine and of course Kenyan girls who will be fighting to have a piece of you. And the place is extremely cheap and you get to sample what Nairobi has to offer all in one place. You can dance, eat some nyama choma (a common Kenyan delicacy) and take a girl or two to your hotel room. However be a bit cautious rest you get drugged and robbed.
And since I have mentioned about being drugged, this is quite rampant in Nairobi and thus you need to be very careful who you interact with. My advice, befriend some Kenyan or get some guide to take you around. Pay some stipend and you’ll have saved yourself from a lot; even death. The drugging mostly happens in bars and it’s from the most unlikely quarters. You are seated at the counter of your hotel bar and before you know it some girl seated at the corner is smiling at you after hearing your American accent. The next thing you know she’s seated next to you and so is her friend and after that the rest is history my nigga.
One thing I’m also pretty sure every foreigner enjoys is interacting with the people. Nairobians are very outgoing and fun people and every day is a holiday for them. And they are very hospitable to guest so expect to have a good time listening to some dope stories and fun experiences.
Lastly, there are so many interesting things and places to go in Nairobi. For those of you that have never seen a lion out in the wild, then Nairobi National Park is just the place for you. This is a bit cliché but it’s the only National Park in the whole world located in an urban center. If you are a history freak, then there are some other cool places like National archives or the Nairobi Railway Museum which bring you up to speed with what we stand for Kenyans and what has been our journey. And if you’re just looking to appreciate life and what it has given to you on a silver platter, then a quick visit to Kibera slums is a must where you’ll get to see the deplorable conditions some citizens of this world are living it.
And yo, one bonus point, Nairobi girls are instagram freaks and thus be prepared to take the highest number of selfies you’ve ever taken in your life.