Abuse vs. Punishment: The Difference Between The Two And Why It Works

Disclaimer: Negromansophere.com, it’s writers, or it’s editor do not endorse, justify, or advocate the physical or mental abuse of females in any capacity. This post is intended to explore the nuances and psychological effects of abusive and punishment both verbally and physically.

Back in February I did a podcast on why women tend to stay with abusive men. Today I’m going to talk about the difference between abuse and punishment and why reprimanding a woman not only works within the context of a sexual relationship, but also helps her to be a better woman. Let’s start with the definitions:

Defining the difference

The main difference between punishment and abuse is that abuse is either extreme, unfounded or both. Punishment is a verbal or physical reprimand for a perceived wrong or a broken rule set in place.

The bottom line here is that punishing an individual for doing nothing wrong is abuse. This goes for both men and parents. If a man punishes his woman physically or verbally and she hasn’t broken any household or relationship rules, that’s abuse because it’s unfounded and borderline sadistic. Same with parents. If a parent spanks a child but the child hasn’t done anything wrong, the parent is being abusive.



Verbal: Tyrone walks into his house where his woman is sitting on the couch watching T.V. Nothing appears to be out of whack. All of a sudden Tyrone bursts into a verbal tirade saying things like “You fucking bitch, you ain’t shit!” or “The fuck you sitting around for! Get your ass up and get to work bitch!”

Yelling at your woman for no apparent reason could be construed as verbal abuse. Any woman that responds favorably to verbal abuse is one you should not keep around long because chances are, keeping her around might require you to commit crimes against her (i.e. physical and/or sexual abusive).

Physical: Tyrone walks into his house where his woman is sitting on the couch watching T.V. Nothing appears to be out of whack. All of a sudden Tyrone walks over and smacks the shit out of his woman.

If she doesn’t hit you first, this is not okay

Same as above, a physical reprimand for no reason is abuse. If Tyrone walks into his home and his woman gets up and attacks him, hits him, tries to hurt him physically etc., then Tyrone has every right to defend himself by stopping his woman from accosting him in this way. But if there’s no reason for him to put his hands on his woman, he is being abusive.


Verbal: Tyrone walks into his house where his woman is sitting on the couch watching T.V. His woman hasn’t cooked dinner, the house is a mess, and she looks terrible. She knows these things are requirements of his and knew this going into the relationship. Tyrone says “Why the fuck is dinner not cooked and why is my house a mess?! And why the fuck do you look like shit?! Get your ass off the couch, go upstairs and make yourself presentable, clean this pig sty up and start dinner!”

Tyrone verbally reprimanded his woman because she failed to meet his expectations. Expectations she knew he had upon entering into a relationship with him. He has every right to voice his displeasure and demand her compliance. If she has a problem with the way he talks to her upon her failure uphold her end of the bargain, then she can leave the relationship. Nobody’s holding a gun to her head to stay.

If she doesn’t uphold her end of the bargain, let her know about it

Physical: Tyrone is eating dinner with his woman and she either burps loudly at the table…something he’s told her not to do because it’s not feminine and makes her unattractive.  He instructs her to stand up, bend over, and pull down her panties. He swats her firmly 3 times on the ass as that is the punishment agreed upon for indiscretions such as this.

Obviously this is a slippery slope. While there are many good reasons men hit women (infidelity, paternity fraud, theft or destruction of his property, she physically attacks him first) it is illegal and that’s the reason men should not hit women.

Spanking, on the other hand, is different in that it’s not physically abusive as parents spank their kids regularly (though it’s becoming a lost art in the way of child rearing) and it should be discussed and agreed upon before the execution of said punishment (most girls won’t object to getting spanked for misbehaving even if they’re not aware of this punishment beforehand.)

I do this with my own woman

Spanking is the only form of physical punishment a man should exercise with his woman. Any other physical reprimand could be (and probably is) illegal and should be avoided at all costs.

Let’s get real

We can gloss over an unshakeable truth all we want to but here is an iron clad truth I’ve discussed in the past:

Women respect abusive men infinitely more than non-abusive men

Say what you want, but it’s true. If a woman knows with 100% certainty that her man would never put hands on her no matter what she does, she doesn’t respect him. She can say she does, she can try to show that she does but a woman who is not physically afraid of a male does not have much respect for said male.

Even if a woman is with a man who has never laid his hands on her, if she isn’t 100% certain he wouldn’t knock her ass out if she got out of pocket, she’ll have a healthy respect for him and will tread carefully in terms of waking up the sleeping giant. She’ll keep that respect until the relationship ends and he’ll never have to hit her.

Like it or not, she respects him

As far as men who are actual abusers, they get more sex, loyalty, and favorable treatment from their women. They know that if they cross the line, she’s getting a left cross to the jaw. Right or wrong, moral or immoral, this is how women are. Respect is one of the most important elements when it comes to arousal and loyalty and for better or worse, men who put their hands on women get more respect than men who don’t.

Why verbal and physical punishment works

Women today aren’t afraid of men. They know that all they have to do is say one of us hit them, grazed their ass, or even hurt their feelings and we’re hauled off to jail, fired from our jobs, and our names get drug through the mud. The laws put in place to “protect women” have crippled relations between men and women because there isn’t a healthy respect for men.

She wouldn’t be doing this if he knocked her ass out (it looks like he’s about to)

Like I said earlier, if a woman isn’t 100% certain her man wouldn’t cold cock her if she stepped outta line, she has more respect for him which helps her to be a better woman. If she knows she’ll get spanked if she burps or farts around people, she’ll stop that behavior. If she knows her man isn’t afraid to raise his voice at her, she’ll quell her tone when addressing concerns.

Feminists define verbal abuse as anything that doesn’t praise women in any and all situations. I’ve been called an asshole plenty of times by women simply because I’ve told them the truth. I told one girl I was seeing she needed to take a shower because she stunk and she lost her mind. One chick I was fucking got huffy when told her she was dressed like a dude when she got to my place.

“And then he called me a hood rat! Totally abusive!”

Don’t be afraid to tell your woman or women the truth when it comes to your expectations or displeasure. And don’t be afraid to raise your voice either. Yell if you need to. As far as I know yelling at a woman isn’t against the law (at least not yet).

Your woman wants to be put in line. She needs to be yelled at (some even like it) and she wants to know you’ve got the balls to do it should the situation warrant it.


As stated earlier, nobody here is telling you to hit your woman. Nobody is telling you to yell at her for no good reason. What I am telling you is that grabbing your Y-chromosome and voicing your expectations and displeasure (loudly if need by) will separate you from 95% of men out there who are afraid to so much as disagree with their women. Those men then wonder why their women are fucking men who have no problem checking her in public or in private.

Be the man women want to fuck. Be the man who is unafraid to do what your masculine hard drive is designed to do….within the bounds of the law of course.

Want more Donovan Sharpe? Visit his website and checkout his podcast The Sharpe Reality on YouTubeSoundcloud, or iTunes.

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About Donovan Sharpe 120 Articles
Donovan is a sexist son of a bitch who objectifies women by keeping them on their toes, their backs, and their knees where they belong. Although he's been banned on Twitter and YouTube, that doesn't stop him from dropping red pill truth Sunday through Thursday evenings at 7EST/4PST on TSR: Primetime with Donovan Sharpe. Add him on Facebook and follow him on Instagram.