“There’s some hoes in this house…”
Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock over the past few weeks, by now you’ve heard about two studies widely published in the media – one third of American women have admitted to going out on dates with men they had absolutely NO sexual or romantic interest in, just for the “free food”. The practice, known as “foodie calls”, has been around forever and a staple of locker room and barbershop talk – but now, we have irrefutable, academic research on our side to support our suspicions. Moreover, we also have the weight of psychological profiling data that helps us identify and ultimately how to contend with “dinner whores” – that’s my favored term for these females – and in today’s column I’m going to give you the keys to the kingdom as exactly how to deal with them! But first, let’s get to the study, shall we?
BY THE NUMBERS
As noted above, two studies done by universities here in the USA, where upwards of 1200 American women were surveyed, reported results that a full one-third of women reported going on “foodie calls” – this was reported in the New York Post, Newsweek and the Atlantic, among other respected media outlets. One of the major findings of the study, was that the women who admitted to doing such a thing also scored high on the “dark triad inventory” of behavioral traits: Psycopathy, a lack of empathy for others and an overal antisocial approach to life, which means a disregard for social norms; Narcissism, an undue and vastly over-inflated view of oneself and importance, as well as a sense of entitlement; and Machiavellianism, a willinginess to take advantage of others with little if any regard to how one’s actions will impact others or their feelings. The Dark Triad is well documented and it behooves Thinking Black Men out on the mating scene to study these traits well for reasons that I will make plain and clear by the end of today’s column.
Going back to the findings of the studies, another key insight the researchers found, was that the women who scored the highest on the Dark Triad Inventory, also held strong views regarding traditional gender roles – in other words, “the man is supposed to pay!” – and of course, it’s a “woman’s perogative” as to whether she has any responsibility to reciprocate with what men want – SEX. Because, let’s face it – that IS the reason ANY man offers to take a woman out, right? As “The Professor” Tom Leykis has repeatedly said and I wholeheartedly agree, “Dating = Porking” and ANY man who dates without getting sex is not only a FOOL, but a BROKE one at that, messing around with these psychotic broads.
YES, you read that right – these women, who knowingly use and abuse men, are CRAZY – and we can now say that with confidence – because the stats, studies and research are in!
WHY IT MATTERS
Well, aside from the aforementioned, the reasons why these studies matter to men today and Thinking Black Men in particular, are varied: one, because up until now, men never had any “smoking gun proof” that quite a large number of American women did this sort of thing (per my back of the envelope math based on statistical sampling of nearly 1200 American women surveyed, works out to around SIXTY MILLION AMERICAN WOMEN – I don’t know about you, but that’s A LOT of crazy broads in my book!), but now, as I’ve said above, we’ve got the proof. Second, it matters because we also have evidence that this is yet another clear and flagrant DOUBLE STANDARD that women are perfectly fine to “let it be” – why do I say that? Because the media also recently reported a man who also engaged in foodie calls – known as “dine and dash” – where he would take a woman out, order a fine meal and dip out on her just before the check came. He was arrested(!), while women who are dinner whores are NOT. If this isn’t a clear case of the double standard at work in our society today, then the term has no meaning, my friend!
Third – and picking up on the above point – up until now, the Dark Triad of behavioral traits was only studied in the context of men – and if you spend any length of time on social media, there is a lot of chatter from lay-women and self-styled experts alike, droning on and on about “narcississtic men” and so forth. Now, don’t get me wrong – as the “dine and dash guy” clearly illustrates, Dark Triad Guys most definitely DO exist – and I for one make no apologies or excuses for them. In my view, Mr. Dine & Dash was rightly held accountable by the authorities for his behavior. There is no question that his behavior ranks high on the Dark Triad Inventory; he is every bit as psychotic, narcississtic and Machiavellian as the crazy women we’re examining in today’s column. But only very recently have researchers turned their focus onto the psychopathy of American women, of which I strongly suspect is legion – after all, we DO know that a full 20% of American women are currently being treated for some form of mental illness(!). So, what’s good for the goose, is good for the gander – it’s high time that the maladaptive behaviors of women be put under the microscope – in fact, it’s long overdue!
A fourth and final reason as to why all this matters, is because Thinking Black Men can and should have access to information with which to make sound decisions, in all areas of life – and that includes in the area of mating, be that short or long(er) term. Black men need to know about the crazy broads in their midst, who, as the studies above make clear, can and will have no qualms in the least to use you up every chance they get – keep in mind that one women in the study in particular, freely admitted to going out on as many as FIFTY FIVE “foodie calls”!
Forwarned, is forearmed, indeed!
ON THE BLACKHAND SIDE
So, that brings us to the inevitable question: just how many Black American women, are dinner whores? In our identity politics-driven, “woke” era, this is a very important question to ask, since our interlocutors and critics can be easily heard grousing about how we Black men are just running with “The White Man’s statistics” on the matter – besides, how many Black women were studied and surveyed? For all we know, this could be a “White Woman Problem”, right?
Well, as it turns out, while we don’t have any academic, peer-reviewed data to go on, we DO have mountains of anecdotal evidence that not only bears out that when it comes to foodie calls and being dinner whores, yes, “Black women do it, too!” – after all, Hip-Hop music wouldn’t be the global phenomenon it is were that NOT the case. Every Black man reading this knows that LOTS of Black women are dinner whores – so much so, that the practice is seen as part and parcel of “the game” – the neverending struggle of seeing who can “get over” on each other in the sexual relations between Black men and women. And, as it turns out, we do have a bit of academic examination of this matter, in the form of the excellent work, “Streetwise: Race, Class & Change In An Urban Community” by Elijah Anderson, who is perhaps best known for his subsequent work, “Code of the Street”. Written in 1990, Anderson’s insights on today’s topic were truly presicient. Please allow me to share the following relevant quote:
“The good man is one who is considerate of his mate and provides for her and
her children, but at the same time he runs the risk of being seen as a pussy by the
women as well as by his peer group. This inversion in the idea of the good man
underscores the ambivalent position of girls squeezed between their middle-class
dreams and the ghetto reality. As one woman said with a laugh, “There are so many
sides to the bad man. We see that, especially in this community. We see more bad
men than we do good. I see them [inner-city black girls] running over that man if
he’s a wimp, ha-ha.”” (pp. 197)
We thank Prof. Anderson for his tireless work of documenting life in inner city Black America and his “Streetwise” powerfully informs my own work as a budding dating coach focused on the particular concerns of Black American men in this regard. Stay tuned for future columns where we will delve more deeply into Anderson’s work!
Returning to the question: as you can clearly see above, many Black American women engage in the practice of “foodie calls” and “dinner whoring”, seeing absolutely nothing with it at all, since the Good Black Man is a pussy anyway – right? After carefully considering the initial studies on the matter and taking Prof. Anderson’s work into account, along with my own experience and observation over the years, I have concluded that an estimated 50% of all Black American women are what I refer to as “Pro Dinner Hoes” – that is to say, that they frequently engage in the practice at least several times a month (and a lifetime overall average of at least half a dozen times!); while another estimated 40% of Black American women are what I call “Semi-Pro Dinner Hoes” – these are Black American women who engage in the foodie call practice occasionally, usually when ends aren’t meeting, there’s more month at the end of the money and so on. On average, “semi-pro dinner hoes” do it perhaps once a month or every other month, etc. You get the idea.
A full NINETY PERCENT of Black American women being dinner hoes is a staggering – sobering, even – thing to contemplate. But, when one considers the above evidence brought forth by Prof. Anderson, as well Hip-Hop’s long and venerated career discussing these and related matters in meter and verse, things are brought into sharper perspective. Then, there’s the documented facts that Black women have an average net worth of $5 USD and that Black women have the highest amount of school debt as a group, with an average net worth being a negative ELEVEN GRAND, and it is not at all hard to see how so many Black women would indeed be dinner hoes, After all, they would have the motive and opportunity!
Put this together with the fact that when I took to the airwaves with these studies the sheer outpouring of butthurt and rage on the part of the Sistahood writ large, pardon the pun, only puts the capstone on this section of today’s column – only the hit dogs holler, right?
THE SOLUTION AS TO HOW TO DEAL WITH DINNER WHORES
With all that has been discussed above, things can look harrowing, indeed! And even a bit depressing – after all, if so many Black women in particular – and a full on one third of American women overall are dinner whores – how does one deal with them? The easy answer, of course, is to avoid them altogether – not a bad idea, right? But, that’s about as realistic as all the other “advice” so many “experts” give on dating and mating today. The simple truth is, that you’re very likely to run afoul of dinner whores, especially if you’re operating in Black America – and you might as well get really good at dealing with them. So, I’ve got three very simple solutions – listen up:
1. Know The Signs: As the New York Post article points out, the Dark Triad Women exhibit clear and present traits and behaviors that are incredibly easy to spot – these would include things like excessive use of social media, full of “selfies” and the like; and said selfies tend to be highly sexually suggestive at that; holding and loudly expressing “traditional gender role” views – especially when it comes to men, something very easy to spot when it comes to Black women; and so on. Simply put, you want to be on the lookout for Black women who make it a point to “make themselves seen” in some way, almost always via social media platforms, like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and so on. They’re “always on” because narcissists crave constant attention and what is known as “narcississtic supply”. That leads me to the next point, which is…
2. Avoid Online Dating: Dark Triad Women literally patrol dating apps and online dating websites like Tinder, Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, looking for desperate, thirsty and foolish men to take advantage of – don’t do it! As famed pickup artist Mystery has said so well, “The Game is in the field” – amen, bro! Indeed, it is. YOU WILL NEVER GET GOOD WITH WOMEN IF YOU RELY ON ONLINE DATING STUFF – AND AS THIS ARTICLE MAKES CLEAR, YOU WILL ALSO MAKE YOURSELF A BRIGHT TARGET FOR DINNER WHORES.
So, don’t do it. Just. Don’t.
Instead, focus on refining your game IN THE FIELD – that is to say, in real time interaction with women as much as possible. After all, a gentleman has a social life anyway, right? You should be out and about frequently chopping it up with folks in general and yes, women in particular. We will discuss this in a future column, so stay tuned!
And the final thing you can do – should do – MUST DO – to contend with dinner whores is…
3. Make An Itinerary: That’s right, make an intinerary! Since women in general and Black women in particular, have made it clear that they want men to “approach, plan and pay” for dates, we’re gonna do just that – but with a twist – and this is where we get the dinner whores caught up in a net. We will do all that they ask – on the proviso that they ARE going to put out.
That’s because it’s right there on the intinerary for the evening – we make it clear what the night’s activities will entail, complete with fantastic sex – and we require said dinner whore to either “opt in or opt out” of the deal – in writing (Email is your friend, fellas!). If this sounds wild to you, don’t worry – it IS – but I will also walk you through step by step as to how to do it. This move WILL weed out the dinner whores – and I already know what you’re gonna say: “What if she lies, er, changes her mind?”. No problem, bro – Uncle O’s got you covered! I will be addressing all this by and by in this column, so stay tuned!
In the meantime, just know that your suspicions have been confirmed – there’s some DINNER HOES in this house – and if you see one, POINT EM OUT!
More next week. Now, adjourn your asses!
Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host and newly minted dating coach. You can catch his daily shows on YouTube and Black Avenger TV and his weekly dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. He’s also a semi-professional pest.