An Open Letter To Ms. Sophia A. Nelson, Esq.(?)

Will the real Black Republican please stand up? The Coronavirus pandemic provides a perfect time for Black men & women to have a heart-to-heart political talk

“Everybody has asked the question. . .”What shall we do with the Negro?” I have had but one answer from the beginning. Do nothing with us! Your doing with us has already played the mischief with us. Do nothing with us! If the apples will not remain on the tree of their own strength, if they are wormeaten at the core, if they are early ripe and disposed to fall, let them fall! I am not for tying or fastening them on the tree in any way, except by nature’s plan, and if they will not stay there, let them fall. And if the Negro cannot stand on his own legs, let him fall also. All I ask is, give him a chance to stand on his own legs! Let him alone!”
-Frederick Douglass

Good morning Sophia,

It’s been awhile since we last chatted; and, given recent events and the situation we all find ourselves in these days – essentially being a captive audience of sorts – I thought it a great time to catch up.

The news of and your confession to filing for bankruptcy for your failure to properly prepare for life’s medical pitfalls was in no way surprising (“I had a good job and insurance — but high health care costs still drove me to bankruptcy“, USA Today, Jun 2, 2019), nor were your incessant bromides against our president, Mr. Donald Trump (“Here’s Why I Left the GOP“, The Daily Beast, Feb 3, 2020). I’d been quietly following your blatherings for sometime until, at the last, I simply had to write you this letter after I got wind of your latest flareup of Trump Derangement Syndrome, when you called our president, at a time of national crisis, “retarded” – and then doubled down on it (“CNN Pundit Sophia Nelson Slammed for Calling President Trump ‘Retarded’”, Apr 4, 2020).

Enough, is enough.

As for yours truly, life couldn’t be better. Aside from continuing my daily talk radio show, now available to members only, I also keep up my appearances throughout the Black Manosphere as a guest panelist to weigh in on the issues of the day. I’ve also just finished up my very first book, too! I’ll be sure you get a copy on the house when it drops. Thanks to Mr. Trump, I’ve been able to achieve my life’s dream of being my own man, running my own business, and on my own terms. He truly is an aspirational figure for me.

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As you’re something of a media maven, I take it you’re familiar with the Mar 9, 2020 piece appearing on the Vox Media website, “The gender gap in black views on Trump, explained”? It not only corroborated what I’ve long said on my popular talk radio show and podcast – that “race” is no longer “Job Number One” for Black America – but deeply informs today’s open letter to you. I say that because, as the aforementioned Vox article bears out, the single biggest problem facing Black America today, is that Black men and women simply do not get along – and it’s not for the reasons you might think.


It’s because, for the first time in our long and at times tragic history in this country, we are finally FREE. Black men and Black women, are finally free to determine our own destiny, whatever that might mean. Free to be whoever we want to be; free to actualize our talents and potentials; free to love who we want; and free to associate with others of like mind. These freedoms were never really afforded us for the majority of our time in this land; and only came about around the time we both came into existence, Sophia, in the latter 1960s.

But, as it is so often the case, Freedom, ain’t free. It always comes at a price.

And one of those, would be an increasing divergence in the life priorities Black women and men have. And that will become increasingly apparent, evident even, at the national ballot box.

Whereas just below fifteen percent of Black men – like me, Sophia – supported Trump four years ago, today that number in favor of him and the GOP has nearly doubled(!) – with no signs of slowing down. This reflects a powerful truth, as I discussed on the air last night on Oshay Duke Jackson’s wildly popular YouTube show – that Black men are increasingly becoming successful and educated – something Black women of your generation pouted and pitched a fit about, for decades (“MORE Black Men Are Supporting Trump…What does that mean For BW? (Obsidian)”, Apr 6, 2020). Contrary to the spin Black women and their media advocates like you and others would have the rest of the country believe, in truth, Black men are experiencing an unprecedented rise in their life outcomes, due to there being more Black men in and graduating from college than being in jail; the lowest Black male unemployment rate ever recorded, thanks to Mr. Trump; and more business opportunities being afforded us Black men. All of these things and more, are strong proof that “racism” simply ain’t the tail that wags the dog anymore. It’s. Just. Not.

With racism no longer hanging over our heads, Black men are finally free to focus their time and talents on matters that matter to them…and increasingly, more and more Black men are coming to the conclusion, that what many Black women like you want, are not the same things Black men like me, want.

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Please allow me to further elaborate on the above statement, because you, like quite a few other outspoken Black women and at least some Black men, seem to have a misunderstanding of my position; I think it’s wonderful that you were able to take advantage of the opportunities afforded you and make something of yourself. Far from being “intimidated” by formally educated, professional and successful Black women, I think it’s fantastic that you can lend your talents to enrich yourself (for as long as it lasted, anyway), your family and even our nation. Hailing from a long line of successful Black women in my own right, I’ve always been in favor of Black women being able to “do your thing”.

But that doesn’t mean that I have to LIVE with such people in my personal and social life, either. And THAT, is where the rubber hits the road between a growing number of GOP/Trump Black men, and Black women like yourself – and since we’re both from the Tri-State area, you can spare me the “I’ve been a lifelong Republican” spiel. As anyone who’s from the same area knows well, there ain’t a glimmer’s difference between a Garden State Republican and a Garden State Democrat. In fact, if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear that the term “RINO” – Republican In Name Only – was born in New Jersey.

And your actions in the past three years or so have certainly borne that out. Despite your supposed bona fides as a Republican, you write, think, talk and act, like the garden variety Black female feminist Democrat – who, according to Vox and many other respected media and academic sources, votes for the Dems at a rate of damn-near ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. And your own life story explains how and why: Because the Democrat Party is the Nanny State Party; the Welfare State Party; the “I Don’t Need No Man” Party; you get the idea. Black women like you want to floss and do the Katy Perry “Roar” thing, but you want taxpayers to pickup the tab. Your body, your choice and we pay.

I. Don’t. Think. So.

Wall Street and Motown may have been “too big to fail”; and the whole of American industry at this time of the Coronavirus pandemic may be “too big to fail”; but in my view and in the view of a growing number of Black Republican brothers, Black women are NOT “too big to fail”. If you make bad life decisions – especially over the course of a rather long one, like so many Black women like you do, Sophia – then you can and should have to deal with the consequences of those decisions. Whatever that means.

This is the lesson “Sturdy Stacey” Abrams just didn’t seem to get a few years back in her ill-fated bid for the governor’s mansion in the Peachtree State; she lost some SEVENTY PERCENT of the White female vote and a goodly percentage of the Black male vote, to her GOP opponent. She simply didn’t get the memo that she represents policies, values and lifestyles that White women and a growing number of Black men, simply do not to be around, have to put up with and most importantly, pay for. Hey, if you like what Abrams stands for, great – you all go OVER THERE and live that way, AND YOU ALL PAY FOR IT. Meanwhile, I and those of like mind, will happily do what we do over here – prosperous, successful and truly living our best lives.

So long as Black women like you are willing to ante up for the kind of life they want for themselves, I and my GOP brethren are more than happy to leave you all to it; but, as Black Enterprise reported a little while back, we all know that is highly unlikely to happen (“REPORT SHEDS GRIM DETAILS ON BLACK WOMEN’S NET WORTH“, Jan 25, 2018); also chimes in, with the fact that Black women, as a group, disproportionately relies on state, read, taxpayer support, than other groups of women (“Women’s Statistics, Employment“). And as Elizabeth White’s travails, to say nothing of your own as per the above bears out, this is no respector of educational level. Indeed, BE makes a powerful case that the MORE educated a Black woman is, the MORE likely she is to carry significant amounts of debt – a major consideration for successful Black bachelors like me, who have lived a life of careful providence and frugality (“In Her New Book, Elizabeth White Tackles Myths of Unemployment“, Washington City Paper, Jan 8, 2019). Put that together with an “A-type”personality that is highly disagreeable and contentious, with a string of bad business decisions (Something both you and White also seem to have in common…hmmm) and it all adds up to a bunch of over 50 Black women who are “strong and independent”, demanding that everyone else bail them out, as your hamfisted appeal in the USA Today is indicative of. Again, I don’t think so.

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Like what you’re reading now? Wait till you see my very first book, “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”, which comes out Summer 2020! Here’s YOUR chance to help me bring the dream to life, by supporting “The Book of Obsidian Fundraising Campaign”! All the details are over at Now, back to the article!

So, here we are, Sophia – two Black GenXers who are in a very real sense, the “children” of the Civil Rights Era. We were the promise for that which our forebears sacrificed so much. And we’re discovering that we’re very, very different.

For me, that’s perfectly OK. It tells me that the Civil Rights Movement WORKED. It granted us the freedom to be whatever we want to be. But it did come at a cost. Eugene Robinson documents some of those costs a decade ago in his excellent work, “Disintegration: The Splintering Of Black America” and it has informed much of my on-air work in the years since. My only criticism with Robinson is his neglect or refusal(?) to document the what can now be no longer denied gender divide between Black men and women – and again, not for the reasons many of the pundit-class like you would have us all believe. The simple truth is, as ironic as it may sound, that what strong Black women like you have been saying all along – that we don’t need each other – was in fact the case. Now it becomes a question of whether we WANT each other.

With an all-time low of marital rates; all-time high of divorce rates; an all-time high of out of wedlock birth rates; a looming “Black Spinster Crisis” on the horizion that yours truly has recently discussed in this column and by all accounts, would most assuredly refer to you (“The Spinster Bubble Is About To Bust Wide Open“, Negromanosphere, Feb 3, 2020) and now, increasing evidence of a growing political divide, my oft-quoted maxim applies:

To ask the question, is to answer it.

Black men and women want a divorce. And the perfect place to settle matters will be at the ballot box.

See ya in November, Sophie.

Sincerely Yours,
Mumia Obsidian Ali

Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host, newly minted dating coach and soon to be book author. You can catch his daily live shows on the global livestreaming radio website Mixlr, as well as the all-new members-only Obsidian Radio Zoomcast, and his podcasts on YouTube and Black Avenger TV, as well as his weekly dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. He’s also a semi-professional pest.

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