Are Black Women MORE Problematic Than Non-Black Women?

There are podcasts on this topic!
                              There are podcasts on this topic!

“Nearly 70% of black women are unmarried, and the racial gap in marriage spans the socioeconomic spectrum, from the urban poor to well-off suburban professionals. Three in 10 college-educated black women haven’t married by age 40; their white peers are less than half as likely to have remained unwed.”
-Ralph Richard Banks, “An Interracial Fix for Black Marriage”, Wall Street Journal, Aug 6, 2011

“Black women receive 25 percent fewer first messages on OkCupid than women of all other ethnicities.”
-Ari Curtis, “About Least Desirable”, Medium.com, Aug 1, 2017

“In a study that could be classified as “How does this help America,” University of Michigan demographer Cassandra Dorius, the study’s author, states that 28 percent of American women with two or more children have them with more than one father. Tragically, the percentage for black women is more than twice the national average. The study concludes that more than 59 percent of black women who have more than one child also have multiple babies’ daddies.”
-Terry Shropshire, “Black Women: 59 Percent Have Multiple Babies’ Daddies, Study Shows”, Rollingout.com, Apr 3, 2011

“Black women in the United States are disproportionately affected by obesity, with almost two-thirds considered obese based on body mass index.”
-Priscilla Agyemang & Tiffany M. Powell-Wiley, “Obesity and Black Women: Special Considerations Related to Genesis and Therapeutic Approaches”, National Institutes of Health website, Oct 1, 2013

“The angry black woman stereotype is a trope in American society that portrays African-American women as sassy, ill-mannered, and ill-tempered by nature. Related concepts are the “sapphire” or “sassy black woman”.”
-“Angry Black Woman”, Wikipedia

With the word out that my very first book, aptly titled, “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman” is now only weeks away from completion, I suppose I should have been prepared for the public response; especially by “big name” personalities. One of them is a well-known dating coach who weighed in after my recent interview with Gab Talk Media to discuss my upcoming book and my views on the current day Black American dating and mating scene. Taking particular umbrage at my remarks that part of the reason why I wrote “The Book of Obsidian” (which was due to what I saw as a dearth of literature in this regard being directed at Black men in this day and time), this dating coach – who I will not name here – emphatically argued that there was no discernable differences between Black women and other groups of women. This dating coach of some repute further went on to say, that if there were Black men who were having trouble with Black women, it was of course, per force, their own fault.

Pretty strong words from one who has also gone on record in saying, that if he had to depend on Black men solely to buy his books that he would be homeless! The dating coach that was for “all men” is now suddenly so very interested in the thoughts and words of an absolute newbie in the field – one that has hyper-focused on Black men, at that. What gives?

Well, one could speculate and that’s exactly what I aim to do in today’s column – which, as it turns out, WILL be included in the book! Read on…

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Like what you’re reading now? Wait till you see my very first book, “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”, which comes out Summer 2020! Here’s YOUR chance to help me bring the dream to life, by supporting “The Book of Obsidian Fundraising Campaign”! All the details are over at GoGetFunding.com. Now, back to the article!

FIRST THINGS FIRST: THE FACTS
The many quotations that preceded today’s column were the results of, if that, five minutes of Googling; that’s just how ubiquitous they are. Without question they are quite unflattering facts – facts that, especially if you’re a Black American, you would rather not be “aired out in public” – but they are facts, nonetheless. For whatever reasons and there are many, the bottomline is that Black American women are considered to be far and away more problematic not just when it comes to mating; but in general, day to day interactions as well. You can call the above Wikipedia “Angry Black Woman” quote a tawdry stereotype; but even the most tawdry of stereotypes have a ring of truth to them. When you put that together quoted empirical evidence, only the most ideologically blinkered or the downright disingenuous would attempt to argue otherwise – which brings us back to our noted dating coach interlocutor.

You see, the dating coach who attempted to upbraid me cannot refute or even debate the facts I noted; even he has shared a number of personal anecdotes from his life where the most contentious incidents he was involved in when dealing with women, were with Black women in particular. For example, in one instance, our friendly dating coach interlocutor relayed a story about a Black woman whom he was interested in and she demanded to know his precise height, as she preferred Black men six feet and taller. She actually got out a construction worker’s folding yardstick and measured this dating coach’s height to confirm that he was tall as he said he was! On another occasion – which is documented in one of this dating coach’s books, I might add – he recounts an instance where he had to essentially curse the Black woman out because she was getting on his nerves so bad while out on a “triple date”. Black women often will “shit test” Black men far and away more than other races and groups of women, to see if he’s “man enough” to “handle her”.

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Like what you’re reading now? Wait till you see my very first book, “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”, which comes out Summer 2020! Here’s YOUR chance to help me bring the dream to life, by supporting “The Book of Obsidian Fundraising Campaign”! All the details are over at GoGetFunding.com. Now, back to the article!

GOING FURTHER
There’s even more evidence in support of my position; for example, the 2008 book, “Don’t Blame it on Rio” and the documentary film, “Frustrated: Black American Men in Brazil” – both of whom go into considerable length about how utterly difficult Black American women can be to deal with romantically. Both were created well over a decade ago. Can both – and the Black American featured within them – be wrong? All of them? I’m sorry, but knowing the statistical odds the way I do, I’m not buying it.

Undaunted, our dating coach critic accuses me of being misinformed when I mention in my interview that Asian men don’t have the same troubles with Asian women that Black men do with Black women; “Aha!” goes our dating coach interlocutor, “Obsidian isn’t as well-read as he thinks he is!” and goes on to cite an article he wrote some years back, chronicling the “grass eating” men of Japan – their equivalent of MGTOW. As it turns out though, the joke’s on our dating coach buddy, because:

1. I wasn’t talking about Japanese men in Japan, I was talking about Asian men and women IN AMERICA;

2. When comparing the Asian American marital and divorce rates to Black American ones, the former is clearly higher and lower than the latter;

3. Asian women are nearly universally understood to be easier to deal with and yea I’ll say it, on average more attractive than Black women; and,

4. MGTOW has less to do with an “inability to connect with women” and a heck of a lot more to do with the state of what they see as anti-male customs and laws in our time today.

So much for that.

As for the idea that Black men only get trouble from Black women because the latter isn’t sexually attracted to the former, how do you explain the cottage industry of “Pink Pill influencers” who peddle their wares to Black women who want to attract White men? There are even books and the like out there, written by Black women for Black women, who advise them to “lose the attitude” if they hope to attract “Brad”. If indeed what our intrepid dating coach interlocutor says is true, THOUSANDS of Black women must, per force, not be sexually attracted to Black men, but to White men – right?

Whew!

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Like what you’re reading now? Wait till you see my very first book, “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”, which comes out Summer 2020! Here’s YOUR chance to help me bring the dream to life, by supporting “The Book of Obsidian Fundraising Campaign”! All the details are over at GoGetFunding.com. Now, back to the article!

THE PROBLEM WITH DATING COACHES FOR (BLACK) MEN TODAY
Ironically enough, our dating coach critic – and those like him – are the inspiration for me to do what I do today in the first place. Remember, my tagline is that I am the dating coach for “the Non-Select Guy” – and I do that for a very profound reason: That, more often than not, dating coaches for (Black) men tend to be “leading men” in some sort of way – conspicuously handsome, tall, etc. They are NOT the rank and file, everyday Black man, who is just out here looking for a good time with a Black woman. Most Black men will have endured some degree of the notorious difficulty today’s Black women exhibit; and I rightly perceived a need to address that.

But, you see, that poses a very real threat to guys like our dating coach critic; after all, if there are more dating coach options out there – one that can actually relate, first hand, to the difficulties many Black men today face – where does that leave the demigod dating coaches? I’ll tell you where – out of a job, LOL. There is a clear and present economic motive at work here and the fact that my book – which again, has yet to be published, mind you(!) – has generated all this enormous response from such an individual just lets you know how on the mark I actually am.

However, there is yet another reason why I’m doing this. And that’s because of what I perceive as the sheer CONTEMPT that Black men like the dating coach critic, have toward Black men like us. Remember, throughout my column and soon to be book, I have highlighted the “Select Fuckboy/Non-Select guy” dichotomy, raising all manner of tough questions along the way. The very act of doing so, puts guys like our dating coach naysayer in a tough spot, doesn’t it? Does he REALLY care about guys like you and me? Or does he – like so many “former bad boys” – only want to make a buck off of us, all the while despising our very existence?

To ask the question is to answer it, is it not?

I guess I truly did stumble onto something here, huh? Looks like “The Book of Obsidian” just might be a bestseller after all!

Now adjourn your asses…

MOA

Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host, newly minted dating coach and soon to be book author. You can catch his daily live shows on Mixlr, and his podcasts on YouTube and Black Avenger TV, as well as his weekly dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. He’s also a semi-professional pest.

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