BDSM 101: Identifying 4 Types of Obedient & Submissive Women

The vast majority of heterosexual men in society love a woman who is beautiful, sexy, incredibly feminine, and erotically obedient & submissive

I have known a ‘secret’ about women for many years now, and a good number of men I know also gained knowledge of this ‘secret’ many years ago. Some, as early as high school or college. Other men did not realize this ‘secret’ about women until their late twenties, thirties, or forties. What is the ‘secret?’

The vast majority of heterosexual and bisexual women in the world love to be erotically dominated to one degree or another and told what to do.

Not too many women are going to be open and honest about this ‘secret’ with men because most women do not find all men worthy of submitting to (sexually).

This relates to the most frequent delineation offered in The ManosphereAlpha males vs. Beta males.

As noted in my book, The Beta Male Revolution, the manner in which women react and respond to men who they perceive to be sexually appealing and erotically dominant Alpha males is totally different than how those same women react and respond to more passive, highly compromising, financially generous Beta males.

In the BDSM world, there are some women who earn the label of a “Switch.”  A woman who is a Switch would be a woman who behaves in an ultra-feminine, highly respectful, and obedient and erotically submissive woman while in the company of a man who she perceives to be a sexually appealing and erotically dominant Alpha male … but this same will begin to display more masculine or semi-masculine traits, more antagonistic and argumentative tendencies, and ‘bossy’ and domineering attributes when she is in the company of a man who she perceives to be more of an easy-to-influence and easy-to-dominate Beta male.

This is why so many men who are self-proclaimed Beta males have such a strong desire to develop more Alpha male oriented traits and tendencies.  Because when a man displays the balls, backbone, and erotic dominance of a true Alpha male, women will almost automatically begin revealing their more feminine side and their more obedient and erotically submissive side to that man.

There are generally four types of submissive women that any (heterosexual) men are going to run into:

  • Women who are natural submissives (who could also be masochists)
  • Women who are resistant submissives  (or “undercover freaks”)
  • Women who are reluctant submissives (or “closet masochists”)
  • Women who are defiant submissives (or “covert Tops / Doms”)

Let’s examine the characteristics and signs of each type.

NATURAL SUBS

Without question, the most ultra-feminine women in the world are women who what are known as natural submissives (or “natural subs” for short).  These are women that many people refer to as “girly girls.”

Not only will these women behave in an ultra-feminine and deferential manner while in the company of men who are Alpha males … but these women will even many times defer to a man who is only a Beta male, particularly if that Beta male is handsome, wealthy & financially generous, and/or has a high degree of influence and status in his community or his career field.

These are the women who will usually refer to a man as “Sir” even before that man requests that these women do so.  These women never really need to be trained to be obedient and submissive.  It is just in their DNA and biological makeup to behave in a deferential and submissive manner toward men (and even toward other more dominant women).

If you get involved in a long-term relationship with a woman of this nature, the “good” news is that you will rarely if ever have to worry about engaging in any unnecessary “spats” or heated, profanity-laced arguments with women like this.  These women are anything but anyone’s “Drama Queen.”

The potential “bad” news is, many of these women will naturally submit to a man who they feel is just as sexually appealing as you (if not more so) and who they feel is just as dominant as you (if not more so).  In other words, if your spouse or romantic companion is a natural sub, there is a high percentage chance that this woman will cheat on you if she crosses path with a man who she deems as much more Alpha than you are.

RESISTANT SUBS

As many know already, next to being a Book Author and a Men’s Dating Coach, I also work as a BDSM Lifestyle and Polyamory Lifestyle Advisor / Consultant / Trainer for men, women, and married & unmarried couples.

When it comes to my female clients, probably 55-60% of them would fall into the category of a resistant submissiveIf you’ve read my books or listened to my audiobooks, you know that one of my archetypes of women is what I refer to as a Wholesome Pretender, which is a woman who is very sexually duplicitous in nature.  Just about all women who are Wholesome Pretender types are also usually resistant submissives.

Women in this category will not display their most feminine side to you nor their most free-spirited and erotically submissive side to you until they …

  1. are convinced that you are a genuine, erotically dominant Alpha male type
  2. are convinced that you are a man who is confidential, private, and discreet
  3. are convinced that you are a man who can leave them feeling extremely satisfied sexually

In relation to “a,” this is one of the reasons why women administer what are commonly referred to in The Manosphere as “shit tests.”  Women ‘shit test’ men all the time to see if you are a man who is i) worthy of their respect and deference and ii) worthy of being obedient and erotically submissive to.

Many women who are resistant subs need to be properly “trained” to become more naturally obedient and submissive to their dominant spouses or partners.  This training could take a few hours, a few days, or maybe as long as a month or so.

RELUCTANT SUBS

Of the four types of subs, this category of submissives are probably the most intriguing for men … and the most challenging.  I would estimate that probably one-third of all my female clients, married and unmarried, fall into this category.

Similar to a BDSM “Switch,” another similar archetype is what is known as a BDSM “Flexible” or “Versatile.”

A Switch would be a woman who is totally obedient and erotically submissive to Lover #1, but with Lover #2, this same women behaves in a manner that is more masculine or semi-masculine and erotically dominant and ‘bossy.’

A Flexible or a Versatile would be a woman who vacillates between being both erotically dominant (and even sadistic) and being erotically submissive (and even masochistic) within a matter of hours, days, or weeks with the same exact partner(s).

Women who are reluctant submissives have Flexible or Versatile type sensibilities.  Put in simple terms, a woman who is a reluctant sub will essentially “challenge a man” to break her down to the point where she has no other real option but to become submissive if she hopes to hold on to that man’s sexual and/or non-sexual attention & companionship. This woman will never reveal her ultra-feminine, obedient, erotically submissive and masochistic side to a man too quickly and/or real easily.  She wants to feel that the man she is involved with has “conquered” and “defeated” her very antagonistic tendencies (i.e., her “shit tests”) and incredibly defiant ego.

Reluctant subs are going to ‘shit test’ a man much more harshly and much more frequently than a resistant sub will.  Reluctant subs are very feminism-oriented to one degree or another, and they believe most men are sexually “weak.”  If these women feel like they can in any way control your behavior, influence your behavior, and/or dominate your behavior … then they are going to quickly lose respect for that man and behave toward that man in a very defiant and undesirable manner (i.e., they will behave like a straight-up bitch).

Once a man has effectively and thoroughly broken down a reluctant sub, she will then choose to reveal her more ultra-feminine, and extremely obedient and erotically submissive to her designated partner(s).  Many times, these reluctant subs will beg men to verbally abuse them, insult them, slap them and/or spank them, and even embarrass them or humiliate them in front of others.  These women love to feel “punished” for their previous instances where they feel as though they behaved like a “bad girl” (e.g., spoiled, argumentative, defiant and disagreeable, etc.) to their now dominant partner(s).  Put another way, reluctant subs ‘get off’ on men ‘putting them in check’ and ‘placing them back in their proper place.’  They yearn for highly masculine men with a strong, hard line sense of backbone like this.

DEFIANT SUBS (or “COVERT DOMS / TOPS”)

There are some women who are tricky and sneaky.  What do I mean by that?

Some women know how to “pretend” as though they are very feminine, obedient, and erotically submissive … but deep-down, these women know how to control, influence, manipulate and even dominate their male companion’s behavior.

The kicker is, these women know how to do this while at the same time making the man feel as though HE is in control of the relationship and the leader in the household.

In the BDSM world, this concept is known as “topping from the bottom.”  If a woman was to maintain a rather masculine or semi-masculine, controlling, and domineering frame with a man frequently and indefinitely, that would simply represent a woman who is a BDSM Dom / Top (e.g., a woman who is a dominatrix)

On the other hand, some women know how to “play the role” of a BDSM submissive, but in reality, these women know how to use their femininity, their sensuality and their feigned submissiveness as a manipulative tool designed to place them in control of the marriage or the relationship and maintain power and domination.

In real simple terms, women who are defiant submissives are really not true submissives at all.  These women are “fake” submissives.  Again, the only difference between a defiant sub and a female BDSM Dom / Top is that defiant subs know how to control, influence, dominate and manipulate men while maintaining a high degree of femininity and sensuality.   They never raise their voice or yell at their spouses or male companions, nor do they display any type of masculine or semi-masculine tendencies with their spouse or partner(s).

Realistically, no man … not even a very masculine and erotically dominant Alpha male type … will be able to permanently train a woman who is a defiant sub.  The best any man will get out of this woman is an outstanding, very believable “acting performance.”

Senior writer Alan Roger Currie was recently named the 2017 Charles Tyler Freelance Writer & Columnist of the Year for the NegroManosphere.com, and he was also named the NegroManosphere.com’s 2017 Best Dating Coach for Men on YouTube and 2017 Black Male YouTube Personality of the Year. More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions. Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships. If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks. Currie has been a featured speaker at many dating advice workshops for men in the United States as well as internationally. Currie was the first African-American to be a featured speaker at The 21 Convention and was a featured speaker for the second time on Saturday, October 13, 2018 in Orlando, Florida. If you want to become a Patreon.com subscriber of Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie, CLICK HERE

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About Alan Roger Currie 91 Articles
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks, and is best known for the ground-breaking best-seller "Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking"; Currie is also a professional Men's Dating Coach who has worked with clients all over the world, and has conducted speaking engagements and workshops in many cities both in the U.S. and internationally. Contact him at coaching@modeone.net