The Best Way to Get a Black Woman

Portrait of a cheerful African American woman with hands over ears

Now despite the back and forth between Black men and Black women the reality is that most Black men want a Black woman for dating, relationships, and yes, marriage.   I mean the curves of a Black woman can put him into a trance.   Make a brotha want to work on his credit score.   Brings the simp out of a brotha.   Make him want to walk up to a fine sista and ask her to back that thing up.    Sistas don’t want to cooperate though.

A Black woman will be in a room of 100 clean cut Black men and tell her girlfriends afterward that there were only seven men in the room and say two of them  looked gay.    A sista can walk past a dozen brothas at lunchtime and tell her mother who pesters her about grandkids that she didn’t see any men that day.   Many Black men are invisible to Black women.  There is a time though when Black women see Black men very clearly.   I’m going to tell a story.

I was in my local grocery store one day.   I saw this fine ass sista in a working thot uniform.  She was a nurse.   Her weave was tight.   Her ass was so phat you could sit your bread on it.   I tried to catch her eye and she looked right past a brotha.   I’m thinking, “Damn, I just had the barber bless me with a fade.”   I just shook my head and got some steamed shrimp because a brotha wanted some shrimp.  Ahem, I meant scrimp.

I went to the self-checkout line because my grocery store didn’t like paying checkout clerks.  One of my buddies was working there ready to fix the machines when they broke which was quite often.   She’s a white MILF and we cool so she was very touchy with me.   That phat booty sista was there as well.   I peeped that all of sudden she was staring at me like I ate the last biscuit.   I made a show of hugging my buddy and went home to eat my scrimp.

That sista staring at me like that didn’t surprise me.   For as long as I can remember many Black women wouldn’t pay attention to a Black man until they saw him with a white woman.  I would be on dates with Black women and they would see a brotha with a white woman and get mad.   First I would remind them that they were with me and then I would ask if they would pay attention to the brotha if he was by himself.   The answer would always be no.

Black women are funny to me.  They find creative ways to ignore a Black man but as soon as they see him with a white women they think they are in love.   A smart woman should take advantage of this.  Not to get a Black man but to make money.

I can see some white woman offering to pretend to be a Black man’s girlfriend so he can get Black women to pay attention to him.  For this to work she has to be a WHITE white woman.  She can’t be one of those white women with a phat ass.  The brotha might all of sudden develop a taste for vanilla.   She also can’t be one of those Black acting white women.   Sistas don’t seem to have a problem with those types of white women getting a brotha.   There’s at least one in every hood.

Naw it has to be one of those yoga pants wearing, bland hair, and coffee shop type of white women that will run five miles during a snow storm.    Those the ones the sistas notice.   A brotha needs to have her on his arm at just a few spots where sistas can see him and then go back to those spots without the white woman.   The brotha will have more Black women than he knows what to do with.

The bad part of all this is that you know I’m right.

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