The Media’s Heavy-Duty Promotion of the Beta Male Archetype

In many television commercials today, most of the fictional husbands are portrayed as wimpy, passive, and incompetent who are dominated by their wives

I find it extremely hard these days to watch a full television commercial that involves a married couple.  To a slightly lesser extent, I feel the same way about the vast majority of television situation comedies (otherwise known as ‘sitcoms’).  Why are they so hard for me to watch?

Over the last twenty plus years, the media and Entertainment industries have been on a mission to ‘normalize’ men who seem to have no strong sexual impulses at all, and who regularly allow their wives, fiancées, or long-term romantic companions to treat them like incompetent, emasculated chumps.  Many fictional male characters on television and even in some movies are browbeaten by women more than ever before.  It literally makes me cringe.

CNN RECEIVES BLOWBACK FOR PROMOTING CUCKOLDRY AS ‘ENJOYABLE’

Recently, CNN posted a piece that actually promoted the idea of a woman’s husband, fiancé, or romantic companion being satisfied with being a cuckold for his wife, fiancée, or long-term romantic companion.  Yes, you read that correctly.

For those of you who may be ignorant to that term, what exactly is a cuckold?

The more ‘formal’ definition of a cuckold is a man who has a very promiscuous and highly adulterous wife, but the husband involved has no idea until years after his wife’s first episode of infidelity.  Another conventional definition of a cuckold is a man whose wife not only has cheated on him behind his back with other men, but to take the scandalous situation three steps further, the wife has allowed herself to become impregnated by another man, and her husband (reluctantly) decides to raise the child as if it is his own son or daughter.

It is one thing to become the step-father to a woman’s child or children that were born before the man proposed marriage to the woman … that is actually very common in society … but imagine becoming the step-father to another man’s child after you are already married to a woman.

CUCKOLDRY AS A BDSM and POLYAMORY-RELATED “SEXUAL FETISH”

I once interviewed a woman on my BlogTalkRadio internet radio program by the name of Dr. Susan Block in December 2008.  At one point during our conversation, we began discussing the Top 3 sexual fantasies among Dr. Block’s female clients as well as the Top 3 sexual fantasies among her male clients.  Guess what was the #2 most confessed sexual fantasy among her male clients?  You guessed it.  A man wanting to watch his wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend getting banged by another man who the Cuckold perceived as being more masculine and erotically dominant than himself, more skilled at sexually satisfying women than himself, and who was in possession of a more well-endowed penis than himself.

In the world of BDSM (i.e., erotic domination & erotic submission) and also in the world of Polyamory (i.e., a married or unmarried couple who maintains an ‘open’ or non-monogamous sexual relationship), there is an arrangement known as the ‘Bull-Cuckold-Hotwife’ relationship.

A ‘Bull’ is a man who is usually in great physical shape with an above-average sized penis who is extremely kinky, promiscuous, masculine, and erotically dominant.  On the other hand, the ‘Cuckold’ involved in this arrangement is usually a man who lacks self-confidence and has poor self-esteem, is very egotistically insecure about his inability to sexually satisfy women, and loves being ultra-subservient and financially generous with his female companions or spouse.  Some men who are Cuckolds not only are into erotic voyeurism (i.e., the regular act of watching their wife, fiancée, or long-term romantic companion get banged by another man right in front of them), but they will even sometimes invite another man to impregnate their spouses or romantic companions.  Key word:  invite.

ALPHA MALES HAVE STRONG SEXUAL APPEAL WITH WOMEN … BUT BETA MALES HAVE MORE NON-SEXUAL APPEAL

If all women exclusively preferred the company of men who are categorized as Alpha males, there would be absolutely no need for Beta males in a woman’s life.  None whatsoever.  That said, we all know that women still gravitate toward men who are very much Beta.  Why?

In simple terms, for as much as the vast majority of women love being emotionally vulnerable and sexually submissive to an Alpha male in the bedroom … they almost equally hate submitting to Alpha males outside the bedroom.  Put another way, when a woman is not horny for sex, she very much likes to run the show in her relationships with men.  Enter the appeal of the Beta male.

A Beta male is much more likely to allow a woman to ‘wear the pants’ in a long-term relationship or marriage.  A Beta male is much more likely to spend money on a woman and financially support their children (even if one or more of the children came from the seed of another man).  Beta males are much more likely to engage in conversations with women that are much more flattering to the women’s egos, Beta males are much more emotionally empathetic to the woman’s problems, disappointments, and frustrations, and Beta males are much more willing to be a woman’s “personal entertainer” or “dancing monkey.”

In other words, for every three points you would award the typical Alpha male for satisfying a woman in the bedroom, you would probably have to award the average Beta male four or five points for how well they keep women strongly desiring their non-sexual companionship and financial assistance and support outside of the bedroom.

ALPHA / BETA IS TO WOMEN WHAT MADONNA / WHORE IS TO MEN

Over the years, I have heard a number of men offer comments to me along the lines of, “Alan … I like you and I like your books, but I think you put way too much emphasis on this delineation between ‘Alpha’ males and ‘Beta’ males.  In my opinion, men are men.  There are no such distinctions as ‘Alpha’ or ‘Beta’ among human males.  Those distinctions only apply to animals in the jungle.”  Oh, really now.

Well, if that is true, let me ask the men reading this article a question:  Do you view all women the same?  Do you?  99.999% chance, I guarantee you that you and the vast majority of men do not.  As legendary psychiatrist Dr. Sigmund Freud pointed out over a century ago, just about all men place women into two general categories:

  1. Women that men would like to remain in a long-term romantic relationship with, and ultimately would like to marry and have this woman give birth to one or more of his children;
  2. Women who men are only interested in engaging in some variation of short-term and/or non-monogamous sexual activities with, but these same men would never seriously entertain the idea of proposing marriage to these women;

Group “A” is what most men refer to as “monogamy-oriented good girls,” or what Dr. Freud referred to as the “Madonna” types.

Group “B” is what most men refer to as “kinky freaks” or “promiscuous sluts,” or what Dr. Freud simply categorized as “Whore” types.

The reality is, the vast majority of women view men in pretty much the same two general categories.  Actually, I argue in my books that women usually take it one step further and place men in at least three, and even as many as four categories:

Totally Alpha – These are the men who women just want to enjoy themselves with sexually, but they have very little if any interest in being in a long-term romantic relationship or being married to (primarily because these men are way too promiscuous, typically have a multitude of financial problems, and are just generally too dominant and too hard to get along with outside of the bedroom)

Totally Beta – These are men who women have no real sexual attraction to at all … but if these men are financially generous, and have a flattering and entertaining personality, they make great candidates to be a woman’s “male girlfriend” or “play brother”

Men who have a blend of both Alpha traits and Beta traits – For long-term romantic relationships and marriage, these are the men who women find most appealing.  A man who is either 2/3 Alpha and 1/3 Beta (if the woman is a more feminine and submissive type), or a man who is 2/3 Beta and 1/3 Alpha (for women who want more of a financially generous ‘platonic husband’ or ‘platonic boyfriend’ where sexual enjoyment is only doled out to men occasionally as a ‘reward’ or ‘doggy treat’ for being an obedient, subservient ‘good boy’).

ARE THERE ANY BENEFITS TO BEING A WOMAN’S BETA MALE BITCH (i.e. CUCKOLD)?

There is at least ONE benefit to allowing yourself to be a woman’s Beta male ‘Bitch Boy.’  You will usually get to be the romantic companion to a woman that is generally considered by many men and women to be “out of your league.”  If you were not willing to be your wife’s bitch, this ‘trophy wife’ of a woman you have in your life would have nothing to do with you.  You would not be on her radar at all.

When thinking of that one “benefit,” there is nothing too wrong with giving up your sense of self-respect and dignity in exchange for this woman’s romantic and sexual companionship, right?  Right?

You decide.

More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions.  Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships.  If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks.  Currie has been a featured speaker at many dating advice workshops for men in the United States as well as internationally.  If you want to become a Patreon.com subscriber of Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie, CLICK HERE

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About Alan Roger Currie 53 Articles
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks, and is best known for the ground-breaking best-seller "Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking"; Currie is also a professional Men's Dating Coach who has worked with clients all over the world, and has conducted speaking engagements and workshops in many cities both in the U.S. and internationally. Contact him at coaching@modeone.net