Black Women Create the Men They Complain About

Black women have been complaining the quality of Black men for at least the last forty years.  Maybe longer but I wasn’t paying attention when I was a pre-teen.   Black women have called Black men every name in the book, even going on national media to air their grievances.   What’s not talked about is how these men got that way.   Well I take that back.   The sorry state of Black men is always put at the feet of other Black men.   There is some truth there but in a community where there is an epidemic of single mothers the blame has to spread to both sides.  Indeed with the state of the community I would say women play a more significant part in why things are jacked up.  The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.   Black women are raising the very men they come to dislike.

There was an old saying back in the day.  It was said Black women, “raised their daughters and loved their sons.”    Essentially single Black women would “raise” their daughters to be independent, to get educated, to get a good career, etc.   Little boys in the same household are generally coddled.   Mothers cater more to their sons.  Many mothers will dress their sons to look cute.   I’ll get back to that point in a second.   They’ll let their sons get away with not doing well in school.   They’ll cater to their sons to point where the boys will never grow into independent thinking men who are able to make a mark in the world.   These men usually evolve into men who end up being taken care of by women.   Some of these men end up being gigolos or exotic dancers who make money catering to women.   The problem with these men is that when a woman needs them to be a man these men are not able to step up.

I want to address that cute thing.  Back in the day when I used to hang out in more rough neighborhoods I would see young women with their young baby boys in tow.   It struck me how often these little boys would look like little girls.   Their hair would be braided and I’ve seen toddler boys with earrings in both ears.   The kids would also be dressed fly in name brand clothing.   Of course the young women would be fawning over them.   Every time I saw this I would think, “There goes a future Mr. Goodbar.”   The lesson that little boy would learn is that as long he looks cute to a woman they would cater to his needs.   This is where it becomes a problem for women.

The little boy grows up into a man who looks fly and who knows how to get women to take care of him.   His teacher was his mother.   In any relationship there comes a time when a man has to step up and be a man.   This male, we really can’t call him a man, doesn’t know what to do.   He doesn’t have the training.  While the mother was raising her daughter to be strong and independent, she raised her son to be cute and dependent.   The women who get involved with those males end up hating the male for the very thing that attracted them to in the first place.   Of course the father’s get blamed but in most cases the father was the same type of man who was never raised to be man himself.   It becomes a vicious cycle.

Black women are fond of saying, “Your momma Black” to Black men.  Usually in cases where a Black man criticizes Black women or when a brotha is dating Becky.   Well Black women need to realize that the same men they complain about being playas, womanizers, and thugs, had Black mommas too.   Black single mothers who in many cases prevented the fathers from actively raising the sons.   If a woman wants to know why a particular Black male is trifling look no further than his mother.

 

Facebook Comments
  • Will-I-Am

    Man this article is deep. I’m in my late 20s and it’s crazy how history has repeated itself throughout time yet many people in our community don’t want to speak on this issue.

    • Chapo

      You really think this shit is deep?

    • Kis King

      My son was raised by me his mother…he has never been a statistic.. jail..no tickets…never failed a grade…graduated 1 yr early..1 yr college…2 years in the military.. groomed to be the man I would want in my life..I totally disagree with this article. You can have the same rules under 1 roof and multiple children ….2 graduate and 1 don’t. It was a girl who dropped out, do you think the mother didn’t want her to graduate and be successful? Of course she did..The state fails children as well. Children fail themselves by making bad choices and know better. Consequences

      • Queen57-6

        Ms. Kis I totally agreed with you. I raised all my three of my children alone. 1 son, two daughters. I made a lot of mistakes trying to raised them without support. My son has never had a positive, consistent role model in his life even bringing them up in the church. So no every female, woman, or single mom has not raised their sons to be dependent on females. We women needed good role models called fathers too. How are we to know what type of man to choose, so we don’t have to raise sons and DAUGHTERS alone too. We as females need the same help as our male counterparts do. Do right fathers, uncles, cousins, etc…(men).

      • Shawn Waring

        I respect your opinion. Not all black women are like you thou. I think your speaking from your own prospective and not in general…There’s a big difference. Example “All men are dogs.” But it wrong to say this to a individual…

        • Shawn Waring

          My mother did me the same way.

          • Tyrone Ferguson

            LMBFAO…LMBFAO…

      • Good Black Man

        Why didn’t your son have a father? Because you chose to procreate with a loser instead of a good man. Smh.

        • Public_Programming

          You act like there’s so many of ya’ll that’s good. What delusional world are you living in?

          • Good Black Man

            There are plenty of decent black men. You all wouldn’t know because you either friend zone them, ignore them, or used them. All you black women do is share and worship thugs.

          • Public_Programming

            You sound ignorant and hopeless. Just because you chose the wrong girl(s) and got hurt does not mean all black women want thugs. Maybe you pick the wrong women in the first place. Besides, not all “nice” guys are “good men”.. You can be nice and not be good at providing and making your woman feel secure. Only beta black males love to blame everyone, but themselves for what they don’t have.

          • Kis King

            His mother hated him from birth.

          • Good Black Man

            You hate your child because you had it by a random one night stand. Lol.

          • Kis King

            You such a dumb ass you need this attention because you are so hated by your mother…lol. I will not tell you my business you not worth explaining too. We good over here…Bags it is with my worthless babydady/husband.
            Where your children and wife?
            Oh , you to stupid noone want your seed..It will be retarded like your dysfunctional ass. Bye boy ..we good over here..sperm donor and all..
            3 businesses so I thank God for my sperm donor contribution. Lol you dead to the world

          • Good Black Man

            I don’t need any from you especially attention attention. I love my mom and she loves me. I’m not retarded but I do spit facts. Take that and rewind it back. You are worthless and offer nothing. Goodbye.

          • Public_Programming

            Cause he reminded him of his trifling a** daddy. And the cycle continues.

          • Good Black Man

            A black bitch will always deflect the issue and never address the truth in what I said. Smh. You are the insecure thot who can’t be reasoned with. I take responsibility for my actions. The men don’t choose the women, the woman chose who they let in their lives.

          • Public_Programming

            LMAO.. Oh now the “good” black man is calling women black bitches? I can’t make up this trifling mess. That’s exactly what I’m talking about with you losers. I rest my case.

        • Kis King

          Now I’ll be nice to your ignorance. I never say I raised him because he has no father. You must didn’t get no love from your mother. Maybe that’s your hatred or was she s meth head? My son’s father firstly don’t disrespect women. When is the last time you held the door for a woman? Uhhmm. Go find LOVE. So I guess you are a good man? Who rated you? SMH

          • Good Black Man

            I love my mom. She is great. If you were worth a damn, your baby daddy would have married you. You let a random nigga nut inside you and had his kid.

      • Tyrone Ferguson

        Its up to a Parent to recognize where their child/ren is LACKING and not allow for such failures….I have five Children, they are all successful. I know!!

  • Willa Gilkey

    Thank you for adding the missing parts of that narrative. It was a coldly calculated plan that brought us to this point.

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  • Away to keep the division Going

    So can we do a article on why Blam Men fathers are not raising there sons. Since we Black woman is the problem. WOW

  • Belladonna

    No that’s called codependent thinking
    They’re constantly trying to push that off on Black women
    No one makes anyone do anything

  • H

    Article is pure bs. Men need to take accountability for their own actions and stop blaming society and their childhood.

  • Gregory Crane

    I think that this is a misguided article that demeans and stereotypes black people. There are tons of logical fallacies hidden throughout. I don’t think you’re racist or ill-intentioned but I think that your intent of holding up the mirror to black men and women sounds more like the racist rantings of Pro- Trump voters.

  • Me🌸💙💕

    I understand all that you are saying however the problem is not black women failing their sons.The problem is the black family is nonexistent.The truth of the matter is a women can’t raise man it takes a father to raise a man. Until the importance of a strong black family dynamic is instilled in our reality we will always have this problem #menneedtostickaroundafterthenut

  • Sandra Johnson

    I agree with this article because I saw this pattern of upbringing several years ago until now with the boys being coddled.I chose to do the opposite and groom to grow up to be an responsible, respectful, have morals, values, treat people the way you want to be, go to school and get an education, work for what you want and not depend on others for what you want and need, buy and use your own protection with your girl regardless what she says, etc etc. These teachings should be for male and females. Why handicap your boys to the point that they end up not knowing how to properly live a productive life. Their is nothing wrong with teaching them how to cook and clean their apartment or do their share if they are living with someone else. I did this for my son so he could grow up to be self sufficient, if he didn’t I know that I tried, and all with the help of my husband. He still got called a mama’s boy a couple of times, I don’t know why because I did not spoil him or baby him. Maybe because he is an only child.

  • Pristine

    Its sad he still is looking futher then his self. People choose what they have

  • TXambition

    Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Single parents that love and provide for their children coddle them and hinder their independence. But tough love makes them cold hearted individuals that struggle with interpersonal relationships. Often times these troubled offspring have outside forces other than the care from one parent that shapes them into the mess that they become. Environment, income, socialization, family, genetics, etc. all play large roles child development so I think it’s a bit dangerous to generalize single parenthood with such anecdotal evidence. I watched a John Hopkins panel discussion on the impact of absentee and incarcerated parents on children pointed to institutional racism as the source off all these woes and not single mothers/fathers left to raise children.

    This article to me simplifies a difficult problem present in all communities and points the finger back at the group they claim did the same.

  • Garrett T Jefferson

    Sons inherit their mother’s mentality but inherit their father’s hearts. Daughters inherit their fathers mentality but inherit their mother’s heart.

  • Tabs

    I was two second from answering, then I saw the previous and next articles. I’ll sit small, because clearly the point was just to be controversial and maybe even a bit asinine.

    Nope. I won’t let it go. So what you’re saying is that men a greater role in raising their sons? Okay. Thought so. Carry on.

  • Jamaka Young

    So…Where was the father in the household where this “dependant” black male was raised? 🤔🤔

  • Ms Dexon

    No Willie Lynch created them. Black women played their role as he designed it. Do your research.

  • Larry Francois

    Very good article, I find it somewhat accurate accurate. Mostly guys you describe are from single mothers. Since there are a lot of single mothers, this is the end result.

  • Kendrick Williams Dread

    The sad thing is that many of these women when they do get a good man after years of putting up with the lazy ones. Will look for this one to be perfect and keep records of every mistake that he makes. Black men are getting tired of being put down and ridiculed because a previous playa hurt the woman’s feelings. Why are brothers dating Becky? Because Shantay can’t get over the pookies and Ray Rays from her past. You were on point with your article.

  • Tina Jones

    I been saying this for years sad but true.

  • Courtney

    This is bullshit!!! Smh another article bashing black women I can’t!

    • Sheldon

      I wonder if you actually read the article & not cast it off as someone bashing black women.

  • This article is a riot. There was an incredible opportunity here to push the conversation forward by shedding light on another aspect of this issue. Instead of discussing the tendency of some black mothers to coddle their boys as a contributing factor in the collective failings of black men, you make the argument that “women play a more significant part in why things are jacked up.” Women CANNOT and WILL NOT bear the responsibility for what you have described as “the sorry state of black men.” It’s an unfair and gross oversimplification of the issue. There are many, many factors that contribute to our status and condition as black men that derive from both in and outside of our community. I have seen the situations described in the article, and I recognize that black women certainly play a role. But SO DO THE REST OF US. You have reduced what could have been poignant and enlighting perspective to an episode of “the blame game.” Black men (or rather black males who have reached the age of adulthood) MUST take ownership of their choices. The factors that contribute to our oppression, failures, and enslavement are systemic, complex, and multifaceted. Your commentary is imprudent, uninformed and downright offensive.

  • Maryah PULLUM

    Okay!
    But what about the system that has kept many of black and minority men locked away in cages for selling drugs (that they bring to the communities) just to feed they family because they cant get a job here in AMerikkka!
    What about the fathers who cant raise there family because the system is stripping away rights form people and holing them in jails until trial while revoking bail for non-violent offenses that account for 5-10 years in federal prisons alll for a profit….

  • radmila

    The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

  • Mimi

    I am not and refused to be a single mother. My philosophy…If he doesn’t love, respect and take care of you…he will not love, resp6and take care of your children. I am sick of excuses….on both sides. Boys and girls NEED their fathers. Women…keep your goodies protected til the man finds himself then you. Men….real stand up men…are intentional in their love, respect, and care of their women and children…. NO EXCUSES! GET BUSY BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF!

  • Nonya

    I am a single mom and I have 2 sons and I find this article disrespectful to all single black mothers. You lumped us all into one category unfairly. I personally think my young men are great, respectful, and determined. Don’t generalize us you give people the wrong idea about single black mother’s.

  • Nyeusi

    Good piece!!!

  • Gail Waldrop

    I grew up with 3 sisters and 2 brothers! Up until both my brothers’ deaths in their 50’s, my mother and my grandmother coddled the boys! They were good responsible men, but it was very confusing to us girls! May they RIP!

  • Carmenunkrep Trust

    Its not bla women fault they are just following the spirits of their ancestors who watched white men kill or sell their sons before their eyes. Just the slightest sign if independence from a young black boy was the considered the start a rebellion so it was taken care of immediately. Black women held their sons close and taught them to be more vulnerable to be considered a less threat which gave them a greater chance of survival

    • Public_Programming

      The most sensible comment.

      • Tyrone Ferguson

        LMAO……You are saying that the 100 years SUCCESS of the Black Male created BUSINESS Communities from 1865 to 1965 which INCLUDED the ownership of AIRFIELDS ( black women and men owning and flying airplanes, dressed in Silk/Wool and very expensive attires), owning of OIL FIELDS, Manufacturing Plants, Factories, Schools, Colleges, Universities and CITIES… To the Point that Black Males and Females had more A-Degrees than Caucasians in North America prior to 1930s….You are saying this NEVER existed, because women protected their Sons….LMAO.

        KNOW your HISTORY……The TRUTH is a LONELY WARRIOR.

    • Tyrone Ferguson

      DEFINITELY NOT SO….The FIRST 100 YRS after 1865 to 1965 the Black fsmily was MOST PRODUCTIVE, the MOST CINSERVATIVE TWO PARENT HOUSEHOLD, the highest two parent household in the U.S.

      The DESTRUCTION of the Black Family came in 1970 when the Black Women began UTILIZING the NEWLY INACTED CAUCASIAN POLICY of TAKING the CHILDREN from their Black Fathers and Giving the family solely to the Black Women to DOMINATE and CONTROL WITHOUT THE BLACK FATHERS..Further, Black fathers were NOT ALLOWED by the Black women and the Caucasians to SEE their CHLDREN….This was THEN FOLLOWED with FREE BENEFITS, FREE WELFARE, FREE INSURANCE AND FREE HOUSING, ALL the FINANCES NEED to DISMISS the Black fathers.

      One will NOTICE l kept REPEATING this was DONE to Black Fathers…Being that this POLICY WAS NOT DONE TO WHITE CAUCASIAN FAMILIES ….Only done to Black families.The Black women hid this from the fathers and tbe children..so today BOTH are ignorant of Black Women taking the Free Gifts IN PLACE of the Fathers being able to visit his children…and black women PURPOSELY BECOMING impregnated to receive these free gifts, then AUTOMATICALLY not allowing the fathers to see their children, without giving the fathers the reason why…Which has led to the ignorance of fathers and their children TODAY.

      To take these Benefits, the fathers WERE NOT ALLOWED to see their children, if the Black women did, she would LOSE her entire Benefits…The White Caucasian Males, HER PARTNER THEN and NOW said if he does come around, Black women had to file COURT RESTRAINING ORDERS on the Black Fathers, PUTTING THEM IN JAIL and she did… His ONLY CRIME, simply wanting to see his children…

      The Caucasian Policy was NO FATHERS = FREE DOLLARS. Your GRANDMOTHERS and MOTHERS KNOWINGLY TOOK this DEAL and CREATED the AVALANCHE of BLACK FATHERLESS HOMES TODAY…and FURTHER DESTROYED the LOVE and FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS of the Black Family with her BRAND of raising a Family alone.This, SHE has DECIDED to BECOME..a Single parent, for Whitemen fraudulent gifts.

      Today, the Black women has taught the Black family how not to tolerate each other by speaking ill of their fathers. She has Continued to raised Males and females to become VERY INDEPENDENT of each other, and has CAUSED the Black family which was 79% two parent household to now OVER 80% BLACK SINGLE PARENT HOUSEHOLD. This, the Nlack American women ACROSSED the U.S. has Personally CHOSEN to BECOME…a Black SINGLE MOTHER, REPLACING Black fathers. with the whiteman’s FRAUDULENT FREE GIFTS..DESTROYING what was ONCE the MOST LOVING and UNIFIED Black Family, more unified than any other group in the U.S., no matter what tge race. At that TIME the Black Family was LED by Black Male father figures.

      The Caucasian KNEW EXACTLY what they were doing…and did it, using Black Women IGNORANT Materialistic WANTS.

      • Public_Programming

        Blah Blah Blah. Had the BLACK MAN stood up and FOUGHT like a man in the first place to protect his family NONE of the policies you spoke about would have been invented. How many BLACK MEN have left their wives with 5+ children knowing the wife had no education or skills to support herself? Don’t act like that didn’t happen. Had this not been going on none of these child support rules would have been made in the first place. The problem with most black men is they want to have the white man’s money and his lifestyle and they see the black woman and children as burdens to their success. Stop trying to rewrite history. They do that enough already.

        • Tyrone Ferguson

          I Spoke of Historical facts, NATIONALLY, and the laws and policies implemented by the U.S. Senate, that had already been put in place, and done…You speak of what is relegated to your Minute environment….Your little cubicle “certainly do not count.

          • Public_Programming

            You have no facts. Just a morsel of examples clouded with your hate of Black women.

          • Tyrone Ferguson

            LMBFAO…LMBFAO..Hahahahahaaa….

  • Agent3

    Rom,
    Thanks for what you wrote here.
    I was first acquainted with this while doing a stint in County on a drug charge. It was the 70’s and the therapist I was working with would RANT over MOTHERS!!! The prison was 80% white and she was talking about the same thing.
    Mothers over protecting, no fathers, etc.
    40 years later I realized what she was talking about. It isn’t an exclusively BLACK thing though; blacks just do the clothes and hair things differently, as far as I can tell.
    This is the first thing you wrote that I read. I will try to read more of what you have, and hopefully will, write in the future.

    Andrew Gentsch

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  • Kis King
  • Good Man

    If we are really being honest, and when we assess any issue like, the truth usually falls somewhere in the middle. In the infamous VSB (very smart brothas) article, which was titled “black men are the white men of black people“ (or something like that), we had to take that criticism to the chin because there were many truths to that article. Of course there were a lot of generalizations, but it presented if you point that a lot of black women identified with. Fine.

    But yet at the same time, it cannot be disputed that there are also many black women who are caught in the cycle of passing over GOOD, ELIGIBLE and SINGLE black men in their prime years (18-25yrs old) and instead going for the “cute”, Mr. Goodbar or thug types, getting pregnant, and wondering why Mr. Goodbar does not want to raise his children. The problem is twofold. On one hand, this type of black man Is wrong for not being in his child’s life. Yet he should have never been given the opportunity to procreate with this woman, nor should she have given him the time of day, in the first place.

    And once this happens, many of the single mothers wonder why “good black men” now pass them over. And with the article correctly points out is just a different viewpoint- that many of these men who were raised in a single-parent household with their mom and becoming the type of man that their mom originally was attracted to. They learn what their mom likes and they become her counterpart all over again. And when they become adults, they look for the type of woman that their mom is/was.

    At some point in time, both men and women who are caught in the cycle need to look in the mirror, break gravity, and decide to break the cycle. We need to develop mentors and uncover the sociological effects that our collective childhood had on us. Breaking the cycle is hard, but it is necessary. No one is bashing black women. But we must realize that, once again, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

  • Public_Programming

    This argument is so tired. Stop blaming the black woman for the black community’s messes. If not for the black woman the race would be extinct altogether as AmeriKKKa would have no problem trapping black men and locking them all in cages until there are none left. If black women turned their backs on the black man as he has done to them (marrying Becky, choosing drugs over his family, chasing dreams of pro sports and fame vs. taking care of the pregnant women he created, etc.) he would be a total mess. Why do you think now most of the programming and commercials are focusing on black women and white men? Soon they’ll convince both that they are not meant to be together. This article is part of the problem.

    • Tyrone Ferguson

      You are NOT making any sense….The Black Women have raised the family SOLELY FOR 2 and HALF generations, taking the family from their Black Fathers USING the Caucasians and HIS GUNS to help her.

      She has RAISED and taught the youth (Males and Females) today to become F#%KED up with each other. She has created this doom and hatred of HERSELF and has SINGLE HANDEDLY DESTROYED the Black American TWO PARENT Family Household WITHIN LESS than a generation and a half.

      KNOW YOU IGNORANT BLACK HISTORY, PRIOR to POSTING and REVEALING IGNORANCE.

      • Public_Programming

        Are you serious? YOU have SERIOUS trust and psych issues if you think the Black woman and white man have conspired against the black man to destroy the black family. It is the BLACK MALE who decided to fight in the white man’s wars, fathering children overseas only to come back to AmeriKKKa jobless unable to support his family/leaving someone else to raise his children. It is the BLACK MAN, who has no problem fathering several children and then leaving them all behind to take up house with his new woman across town playing stepdaddy to kids that aren’t his. It is the BLACK MAN who bought CRACK COCAINE into the community and DESTROYED the Black family even further and then became a VICTIM of the Prison industry by falling into the trap of the white man.

        Know your role and your history and stop coming off as the self hating idiot you are.

        • Tyrone Ferguson

          I AM stating implemented Policies laws and facts…Further I AM stating Senate Reports that implemented this Strategy…You believe is a Conspiracy, that’s your ignorant business…

          Favouring one Parent OVER the other, by giving the child to one Parent over the other no matter if the Male is better suited to take care of the family than the Mother or NOT, is Historically implemented policies, not a thought or stereotype…Prior to this Policy the Black family was 79%
          two parent Household led by Black Fathers…After implementation of this policy, two and a half generations later, the black family stands at over 80% single Parent Household, CREATED by the decision of Black women to take Black fathers to the Caucasian KNOWING that he would take the
          family from their Black Fathers CREATING the ultimate divide in her favour, which statistic has proven the Women has been given the Child/ren OVER 90% of the time, as the Policy was implemented to do, DESTROY the VERY foundation of the Black Family USING the Black Woman. Not a thought, LAW and HISTORICAL FACT.

          When this system was FIRST IMPLEMENTED of taking the Children from the father and give them to the Black Mothers rather than allow the two to work out their family business which had previously RESULTED in the SUCCESS of two Parent Black family households of 79% led by Black Males, this destruction would begin along with implementing FREE benefits of FREE WELFARE, FREE INSURANCE and FREE HOUSING. ( See the Movie, ” CLAUDINE,” with James
          Earl Jones and Dianna Carrol (sic)….the CATCH being, Black WOMEN ( NOT CAUCASIAN FAMILIES, ONLY BLACK FAMILIES) could NOT have the father living in the home, and if living outside of the Home, he could not visit his children… MANY Black Women INTENTIONALLY had gotten
          impregnated SOLELY to remove themselves from under the discipline of their Parents to receive these free Benefits, while others also KNOWINGLY TOOK these FREE Benefits, KNOWING, NO FATHER = Dollars as were the Policy for Black Families, I REPEAT, these Policies were NOT
          implemented against Caucasian families.WHY??

          Black women EVEN went as FAR as FILING Court Ordered RESTRAINING ORDERS on Black Fathers who came NEAR THEIR CHILDREN….His ONLY CRIME was ATTEMPTING to see his Children. Many Fathers were incarcerated for attempting to see their children. These ACTIONS BY THE BLACK WOMEN, your Mother and GRANDMOTHERS
          CREATED the AVALANCHE and DOMINO EFFECT OF FATHERLESS HOMES today TIPPING OVER 80% Single Parenting Households…..Today, what have Black
          Single mother DONE?? teached their Male Child how NOT to work along and Parent with Black Females…and taught the females, how NOT to be able to work along with a Black Male in the home. This has led to over 80% Single Black Parenting Households to date…a DREAM for a DIKE or other
          females that date females….by the way you sound like a gay female…So this will be a dream come true for you.LMAO.

          As to Black women having jobs breaking up the family??….You are ignorant and Stupid….LMBFAO…..ONLY you can be that ignorant of your VERY OWN Black American History and of Historical facts.

          Go do SOMETHING MOSTLY ALL IGNORANT people such as YOU HAVE NEVER done…Read ACTUAL Government SENATE REPORTS of ANY KIND, in particular
          of this Social Experiment and implementation. You are ignorant of ACTUAL HIStorical LAWS that were put in Place and implemented using the Black woman to destroy the Black family. Your WEAK facts has no bearing on these LAWS…

  • Shawn Dawson

    The one thing that I can agree with in this article is the title. Black women are indeed raising these boys to be dependent and what they delusionally think is “cute”. But overall, I’ve concluded that this article is ,none other than, another redundant desperate attempt​ to smokescreen the gross amount of absentee fatherism and lack of positive male role models that the black community suffers from. Statistically, productive members of society tend to be raised by two parent households, whatever color their “Mama” is. If we are going to blame the utter dysfunction known as black male behavior on parenting, then we can only logically conclude that the failure in parenting is the ABSENCE OF FATHERS, rather than the mothers inadequacy to do THE FATHERS job.

    • Tyrone Ferguson

      Absentee fathers do NOT give INSTRUCTIONS to a Child toCREATE success or failures in that Child when adult….The Care taking Parent does.

  • Von Fulton

    Wake up people. Take what you read with a grain of salt! There are other factors at play. Try to see the entire picture and not just a piece of why things happen.

    https://nyti.ms/1T6uRqi

  • Killa667

    *ATTITUDE PROBLEM*

    First thing first, “women” are the main reasons for every single problem in the entire world. Men do everything & anything just to try to get women (pussy). All the fancy clothes, shoes, haircuts, jewelry, cars, rims, etc. is just to show that we have more “status/value” over the next man so we can get your “pussy”. Unfortunately, most (American) black men are very insecure & that they go wayyy over the top with it, sadly Hip Hop is to blame.

    Look at all the rich relevant black celebs today. They’re currently dating women outside of their own race. They are all very happy in strong “relationships”. Their ex/baby mama was a (American) black women that simply had a nasty “attitude” problem. Most (American) black women are “traps”. They’re known to trap men for some sort of “financial security” mainly by intentionally getting themselves pregnant. No (straight) man wants to have a baby in their “sexual prime”, especially with a (American) black women.

    Honestly, not all black women are stressful to be with. Unfortunately, most (American) black women who grew up around the “Hip Hop culture/environment” seem to have a serious “attitude” problem & they really think it’s perfectly normal…Side note: It’s so sad that most women in general hate other women.

    Hey (American) black women, your baby is not a dolly/accessory (nor paycheck), stop wasting money on stupid fancy shit for your child. Spend/save the little money you have on locating the biological father, a paternity test, contraception, abortion pills, diapers, food, medication, education, etc. Let’s avoid 18-21 years of stress & tax. Let’s not be another statistic…Let’s break the cycle.

    Dear black women, just grow out your real hair. Groom it, braid it or straighten it (once) and then just maintain the natural thickness of your hair. I know it’s a struggle with your hair but it looks sooo much better than that “fake” shit you put on top of your head. Weaves & wigs are really obvious to us men. Most of y’all look really “silly” with that shit on. Most of y’all be looking like a “clown” or like if you put a “mop” on top of your head. We honestly do not like it, especially the smell. Your fake nails are extreme ridiculous too, just keep it natural & clean. Remember, we would do & say “anything” just for your “pussy”

    I honestly “love” black women with passion (and Hip Hop of course), I wanna give them the world. I really wanna marry one & have “all” of my kids with them, but the “struggle” is real out here. For now I’ll date any other race.

    • Public_Programming

      **BLACK MALES R BRAINWASHED** @killa667
      Wow- really? I should of stopped reading after, “women are the reason for EVERY single problem in the entire world,” but I wanted to see what other ridiculous BS the mind of a bitter, self-hating, black male (not man) like yourself could fathom. First off, OVERstand the black male has been brainwashed since birth to feel inferior, envy the white man, and lust after white women. This is part of the programming (TV, radio, movies, school, etc). Unfortunately, many of you are not smart enough to recognize this. Instead those of you who fail to achieve anything worthwhile in life begin to feel anger and resentment. The only place the bitter, black male (BBM) can feel power is over the black woman and child and thus the black woman/child suffer from the angry black man’s anger the most. Yes Hip Hop is partly to blame for this, but who is the voice of Hip Hop? The BLACK MALE
      Second, your example of how black male celebrities marry white women is a prime example of how you worship white men and see his woman as a status symbol. Your sentence, “No straight black male wants to have a baby in their sexual prime with a black woman” is proof. What other race of man on the planet thinks this way about their natural mate? That statement right there is pure self-hatred manifested as psychosis. It is a woman’s nature to have a baby and promulgate the human race. Sadly, many black males are never taught how to be real men or fit fathers and they don’t want to learn. AGAIN blame YOURSELF not black women. Many of you are walking, self-hating contradictions. Continuously berating the black woman to death over fake hair, but will wife a white chick with fake a**, boobs, and everything else because she reminds you of a black girl. Even if she slept with all your friends. GTFOH. Plenty of black women wearing their natural hair now, but ya’ll choose to focus on the ones wearing weaves because you need an excuse for your self hate.
      Honestly, there is no use for black males who think like you on the planet. You use the white man’s stereotypes (attitude, welfare, lack of fathers, etc.) as a reason to hate your own. The only type you’re fit to be with is a trailer park becky because you’re too lazy to actually go after a decent black woman. Losers like you would rather be an outcast amongst your white in-laws than to step up and be real men. Good riddance. The white chicks ya’ll get are the ones white men don’t want. The white women with most black male celebs are gold diggers who leave them soon after they go broke. Please do us a favor and go skydive off a freeway overpass with your tired rant.

      • Tyrone Ferguson

        The Black women were given the Black Family by the White Caucasian Males over two generations ago….She decided to TAKE the Black Fathers of her children and the ENTIRE Blaack Family (which is their NATION) to the White Caucasian Males, KNOWING his policies of TAKING children FROM their Black Fathers and GIVING tgem to the Black Woman…The Black women has then INITIATED the FACT that the White Caucasian Male Will then PUT GUN to the Black Male’s HEAD for 18 years taking his PROPERTY (Money) for her snd the Caucasians to share. If the Black Fathers do NOT Comply, he will be incarcerated and or can lose his life.

        For two and a half generations the Black Women has CONTROLLED the Black Family and has RAISED her SONS and DAUGHTERS to HATE each other and to HATE Black Males and females by their SINGLE MOTHER TEACH EACH OF THEM TO HATE WHERE THEY CAME FROM, their FATHERS,simply because of the ignorance of the Mother not not knowing NOT to spread her FAILED Sh*t-Ass relationship with the partner (father) SHE MADE A DECISION WITH TO be TOGETHER and have CHILDREN

        The Black Women has trained her Sons and Daughters to LOVE other RACES other than their VERY OWN, by teaching the Male and Female Child that their father, who represents ALL BLACK MALES AREN’T SH*t.When People are taught that their DIRECT GENETIC LINE where they CAME FROM ISN T Sh*t.They will GROW UP with the tendency that they THEMSELVES aren’t Sh*t and THEIR RACE that they CAME FROM isn’tT Sh*t.

        • Tyrone Ferguson

          GREAT JOB, Black Women…it took you LESS than a generation and a half to DESTROY an ENTIRE RACE of Black American Youths…. Males and Females.

          • Public_Programming

            You were already destroyed. Just another excuse to be a bum. Gotcha.

          • Tyrone Ferguson

            Learn true and actual history on the Subject, PRIOR to sharing your ignorance on the Subject.

          • Public_Programming

            You have no history, just stereotypes and nonsense.

          • Tyrone Ferguson

            Favouring one Parent OVER the other, by giving the child to one Parent over the other no matter if the Male is better suited to take care of the family than the Mother or NOT, is Historically implemented policies, not a thought or stereotype…Prior to this Policy the Black family was 79% two parent Household led by Black Fathers…After implementation of this policy, two and a half generations later, the black family stands at over 80% single Parent Household, CREATED by the decision of Black women to take Black fathers to the Caucasian KNOWING that he would take the family from their Black Fathers CREATING the ultimate divide in her favour, which statistic has proven the Women has been given the Child/ren OVER 90% of the time, as the Policy was implemented to do, DESTROY the VERY foundation of the Black Family USING the Black Woman. Not a thought, LAW and HISTORICAL FACT.

            When this system was FIRST IMPLEMENTED of taking the Children from the father and give them to the Black Mothers rather than allow the two to work out their family business which had previously RESULTED in the SUCCESS of two Parent Black family households of 79% led by Black Males, this destruction would begin along with implementing FREE benefits of FREE WELFARE, FREE INSURANCE and FREE HOUSING. ( See the Movie, ” CLAUDINE,” with James Earl Jones and Dianna Carrol (sic)….the CATCH being, if Black WOMEN ( NOT CAUCASIAN FAMILIES, ONLY BLACK FAMILIES) could NOT have the father living in the home, and if living outside of the Home, he could not visit his children… MANY Black Women INTENTIONALLY had gotten impregnated SOLELY to remove themselves from under the discipline of their Parents to receive these free Benefits, while others also KNOWINGLY TOOK these FREE Benefits, KNOWING, NO FATHER = Dollars as were the Policy for Black Families, I REPEAT, these Policies were NOT implemented against Caucasian families.WHY??

            Black women EVEN went as FAR as FILING Court Ordered RESTRAINING ORDERS on Black Fathers who came NEAR THEIR CHILDREN….His ONLY CRIME was ATTEMPTING to see his Children. Many Fathers were incarcerated for attempting to see their children. These ACTIONS BY THE BLACK WOMEN, your Mother and GRANDMOTHERS CREATED the AVALANCHE and DOMINO EFFECT OF FATHERLESS HOMES today TIPPING OVER 80% Single Parenting Households…..Today, what have Black Single mother DONE?? teached their Male Child how NOT to work along and Parent with Black Females…and taught the females, how NOT to be able to work along with a Black Male in the home. This has led to over 80% Single Black Parenting Households to date…a DREAM for a DIKE or other females that date females….by the way you sound like a gay female…So this will be a dream come true for you.LMAO.

            As to Stereotyping??….Not History, LMBFAO…..ONLY you can be that ignorant of your VERY OWN Black American History and of Historical facts.

            Go do SOMETHING MOSTLY ALL IGNORANT people such as YOU HAVE NEVER done…Read ACTUAL Government SENATE REPORTS of ANY KIND, in particular of this Social Experiment and implementation.

          • Public_Programming

            What you CHOOSE to leave out of the Claudine movie is the first BLACK FATHER DESERTED the family like many black fathers did in those days (see FENCES for a more recent reference of how Black men abandoned their large black families to fend for themselves with their mothers). Plus you sound ridiculous blaming Black women for policies that she didn’t even create. Just go get with Becky and be another brainwashed brother living in a Get Out movie.

  • Aliyah Cunningham

    Always the black woman’s fault for how shitty a black man is. Typical.

    • Trayveon LordIceman Maxwell

      Funny how you have come to that conclusion when society has broken it down TOTALLY opposite!!

    • Good Black Man

      A shitty man can get unlimited pussy while a nice good man gets none in the black community. You black bitches ain’t shit.

      • Aliyah Cunningham

        Are you sure you can call yourself a good black man? You couldn’t possibly be raised by a strong black queen talking like that to someone you don’t even know. Maybe you as a good black man – speaking on an extreme, unlikely, hypothetical background of yourself – you don’t “get none” in the black community because no woman wants to handle a overt narcissist who speaks on all “black bitches” as if every last one of us has emotionally scarred you for eternity. I’m willing to bet you feel this way towards us because 1) A black woman you truly loved once before broke your heart into pieces, and now every black woman you encountered thereafter are just plain bitches who you probably fuck, then up and leave, in turn, breaking their heart (ironic), and 2) you feel your mother didn’t raise you right, and don’t want a black woman like her, hence why “black bitches ain’t shit”. So are you a good black man, or are you just feeling vengeful? This is an honest question, because some black males who call themselves a “good black man” have been scarred by once two important females in their life, and now all black women must suffer the consequences of your broken, irreparable heart.

        • Good Black Man

          First off, what makes a black woman strong? Second, my mother and father are both great. Third, I have female friends. I don’t want sex. My issue is good men get ignored while black women like you worship thugs. I have been hurt by black women who I cared about. A good black man will do everything right but a black woman will still cheat with a thug. Smh. You never denied that you black women cater to the lowest form of black men.

          • Aliyah Cunningham

            Thank you, “Good Black Man”, for making detrimental assumptions about myself and other black females. And what makes a black woman strong is having to deal with those very same assumptions by the very people we share struggles with. The comical aspect of the poison you’re spewing is the fact that you think no other race of woman has ever been swooned by a “thug”, a “bad boy”. It’s somehow only black women who fall prey to them, as myself, I’ll be honest, until I woke up and realized my self worth LIKE ALL OTHER RACES. And right now “Good Black Man” (more irony) are no better than a white man calling me a nigger. And “black women cater to the lowest form of black men” because good black men like you self-proclaim only want to spit in the faces of the same women who need help realizing who they’re with ain’t shit, whether or not they see it. Black women like the ones you clearly hate need help by true and honest good black men who see their potential. Like I said, get over the heartbreak; it didn’t kill you. Oh, and masul taf to your family, I guess.

          • Good Black Man

            So you admit to liking thugs. I’m surprised you are honest. All races like thugs when they are young. Black women like yourself are just stupid enough to actually have babies with thugs. At least women of other races marry a good man later on. Black women will always date thugs no matter the age and then wonder why they are single mothers and alone once the thugs nut and leave. That’s why good black men date outside their race because they are accepted. The only time a black woman wants a good man is when she is fat, old(35+), has kids, and or broke. Smh. The reason black men ain’t shit is because they are raised by ain’t shit mothers who take no responsibility for their own actions.

          • Aliyah Cunningham

            *sigh* Not sure how long I can keep this up, but sure, I’ll bite. Once again, I said I woke up from who I was with and am now with a good black man that treats me like how a human is supposed to be treated. I guess you skipped that part to fit your “I ain’t shit” narrative, or just a spineless attempt at shitting on me. And thank you again, supposed “Good Black Man” for assuming I even have a child. If it weren’t for ain’t shit fathers who want to leave, then we wouldn’t be stuck in this predicament, now would we? And PLEASE for the sake of black women; continue dating outside your race; we don’t want someone like you that thinks that way about us anyway. Your assumptions are gonna leave you heartbroken… again. And like you said, your mother is great and I wholeheartedly take your word for it. Does she know you think this way? Or are you going to make some backhanded excuse like “well, she isn’t a piece of shit”?

          • Aliyah Cunningham

            I’m just gonna end this here. You have your opinion, and I have mine, and it is evident neither will change. I think I’ve taken your assumptions of me being “stupid” and a “black bitch” long enough. An intelligent conversation will never spawn. Enjoy your life and enjoy your opinion.

          • Good Black Man

            I know I’m right and you can’t dispute me with either logic or facts. Take care of yourself. The best thing you can do is be honest and learn from your mistakes. Peace.

          • Aliyah Cunningham

            Oh you’re absolutely right; you’re right and I’ve been wrong this entire time. One day, I hope the man above shows me guidance and can lead me down the path of self-righteousness because God knows I need it. Can we get to know each other maybe?

          • Good Black Man

            Of course. My name is Robert. I live in Atlanta, GA. What’s your number, Aliyah?

          • Aliyah Cunningham

            Perhaps you can turn my life around?

          • Public_Programming

            And what constitutes a “good” black man? Ya’ll kill me with that sh** doing the minimum, but expecting the maximum accolades. Like nikkaz who claim “I take care of my kids” that’s what the f** you supposed to do. Shut up with your whining.

      • Public_Programming

        Including Yo’ momma. Don’t hate the black woman because you hate your mother. It’s not right.

        • Good Black Man

          My mom is a good woman. You’re just mad because you have no daddy. Lol.

          • Public_Programming

            Actually I was raised by my father. Brainwashed idiot.

      • Public_Programming

        A shitty black man can be good in bed and a nice good man might be terrible in bed. Separate the two and you might get somewhere with this dumb argument.

        • Good Black Man

          How would you know how a good man is in bed unless you actually date one? That’s the excuse black women love to give. Smh.

          • Public_Programming

            You don’t even know what good means. A nice guy and a good man are two different things and mean different things. One woman’s good man is another woman’s just okay man. Think deeper. smh

  • Austin Winston

    I understand what this article is saying but I have to defend my black women… Black men being trifling is a choice not necessarily the mother’s fault it is in the black man’s nature to take care of his black woman… No different from someone who decides not to take a bath and be funky that’s a choice not that his mother didn’t teach him to take a bath properly he just decided not to… If Mom didn’t ever teach you how to drive are you just going to walk for the rest of your life I don’t think so… Now where women play a role in black men being trifling is when they see him being trifling and they sit there as if nothing is wrong… It’s no different from when you feed a stray cat that cat don’t protect your home but he’ll constantly come back to get that food it’s no different… Black women if you want your black man to stop being trifling and they’re responsible stop putting up with the trifling and irresponsible ways that he have the only way he’ll stop being that way is when you stop allowing him to be that way no sooner… A black man being irresponsible and trifling to a black woman is not even in his nature he just lost his balance is your job to get him back balanced

    • Public_Programming

      Thank You. Brothers are out here brainwashed by the white media with stereotypes sounding stupid AF. Out here trying to drag black women but will go get a Becky with the same situation and stand by her like he’s the best man ever. These fake Hotep kats can miss me with their delusions.

  • Michael Lancaster

    Most black women see no wrong in what they do or how they raise their children. They do feel they can be held accountable for nothing. Even as far as to say or deflect from the fact that single mothers most time raised these men. It is the parents job to raise the child and the way that child turns out is a direct reflection of how they were raised. Arguing the exception is just that the exception but not the majority rule. Stop just railing against absentee fathers trying to say its all their fault and are only to blame and also hold black women accountable as well. Not just when the few turn out “good”, but also for the many that turn out bad or misguided. Because just like most girls this what it is being misguided. And I understand that no children come with a manual. But that is just a cop out because there are many of people who can tell you from experience wisdom in what to and not to do and the reasons why. But most Mama’s spend most of their time pushing that way from their mamas so they never listen to most of the mistakes that their moms made. Also the bitterness inside you is what is conveyed to these young men about the person you decided to make a sperm donor. And I don’t give a damn who agree with me or not but the proof is in the pudding the facts are in the statistics. And my emotions are in the lies and the deflections that every black woman that sees this post or reads this statement is going to pop up with.

    #ImNotDiscountingAbsenteeFathersRoles
    #IAmHoldingBlackWomenAccountableForTheirs
    #IfYouSayItsNotYourMommasFaultButSayYourMommaWasTheOnlyOneThere
    #YouJustValidedMyPointWithYouEmotiomalHypocrisy

    • Public_Programming

      Black women are the ones raising the children so of course they are accountable. Most of the mistakes made by their children take a toll on them emotionally, financially and many times physically. Of course Black Women play a role, but to say SHE ALONE is the reason for the plight of the black race is ignorant and stupid. The black man is too busy on ego trips to organize with his brothers and fight against the enemy and secure a place for himself and his family. Instead he’d rather chase after money so he can get more ass, get him a Becky and live like the athletes and rappers..Save it.

  • Angel

    This article is on point.