Do Black Women Want Righteous Men?

The Rev. Fred Luter is running unopposed for the presidency of the Southern Baptist Convention. Here, he delivers a sermon during Sunday services at Franklin Avenue Baptist Church in New Orleans.

I’m going tell you a story.  There was this Black woman.  We’ll call her Tisha.   No special reason.  I just don’t personally know a Tisha and I don’t need a legal headache.   Tisha was a professional woman making a good salary and had all the perks of being educated.   She also attended church more than the regular person.   She went to Bible study on Wednesday, and dance ministry on Thursday.   She was very devout.

Tisha had a boyfriend we’ll call Bob.  Hey I don’t feel like being creative with men’s names.   Bob was a devout Christian brotha.   A good man to Tisha.   He and Tisha had a good relationship though they never had sex.  By Tisha’s own admission they barely kissed.   Bob, a good Christian man, a righteous man, seemed perfect for Tisha.   Tisha spoke of how good he was.   Too bad Bob wasn’t the man she really wanted.

Before Tisha got involved with Bob she was a side piece to a convicted felon named D’Andre.  D’Andre in her eyes was sexy and though he was in jail she found him to be very intelligent.   Though she was forced to abort a baby by D’Andre and that he really didn’t want her, Tisha was in love with him.   The truth was that Tisha didn’t really want Bob.   She even wrote a letter to D’Andre stated that kissing Bob disgusted her.   Eventually Tisha would leave Bob hoping for a chance with D’Andre.   When D’Andre got out of jail he went back to his main woman.   Tisha was heartbroken not over Bob but D’Andre.   She would spend years looking for a man similar to D’Andre.

Now this story is fiction but it happens in the real world a lot.   Many Black women will not only say they want a good man but they will specifically say they want a religious man or a righteous man.   They will specifically say he needs to be in the church.   Indeed many of these women will reject a man if he says he is not a member of some church.   That’s what these women are saying.   Peep the game.

If some Black women really wanted a righteous man they could find one.   Despite the reports of church attendance being overwhelmingly female there are still plenty of Black men in the church.   Now someone will indeed point out the number of women and say the odds are not good for Black women.   The reality is that many of these Black women are already married.   Their husbands may not be as inclined to show up to church except during Easter.   Also many of those singles ministries have enough men in attendance.    So what is the problem?

The issue is not that there are not enough righteous men.   The issue is that many Black women don’t find the righteous men sexually attractive.   In general I have always maintained that it is not a shortage of good men overall in the community.   There is simply a shortage of the men that Black women consider to be quality men.   That’s why many will find that dude who cares nothing about religion and definitely not being righteous and try to bring him to church.  In my day I’ve heard many a woman brag about helping a thug brotha find Jesus.

If these women really wanted a righteous man it’s easier to find one that is already righteous instead of trying to convert a sexy dude to something he is not.    The women don’t want that because the righteous men they find are boring, lame, and corny to them.   These men are that way because they are not going to do the stupid things that many women find exciting.   Ironically if they are able to convert a thug to Jesus or some form of righteousness they will then find the man to be boring, lame, or corny.

So to answer the question, “do Black women want righteous men?” the answer for the overwhelming majority would have to be a resounding no.

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