Bridging The Gap: The One Thing Sisters Must Do To Win Brothers Back

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“Men rise from one ambition to another: first, they seek to secure themselves against attack, and then they attack others.”

-Niccolo Machiavelli


This is a very powerful quote. It is also very poignant and gives valuable insight into what is going on in the battle of the genders in the black community. The sisters have done exactly what Machiavelli suggested.  They’ve secured themselves against attack. How have they done this? They’ve had a stranglehold on the media for at the least the last 20 years. Truth be told, it’s probably been longer than that. This allows only the stories, facts, and information of their choosing to be seen or heard. In doing so, they’ve simultaneously accomplished 2 things. The first of which is securing favorite victim status. This allows them to act with impunity. They are allowed to say and do anything without any recourse. They can never be held accountable for their actions or choices and are insulated from the consequences of their choices or actions. To call anything that they say or do into question is tantamount to racial treason. As a black man, black women have 3 thermonuclear, intercontinental ballistic missiles armed and ready that can be deployed at a moment’s notice to completely obliterate any possible insurrection. They are the words coon, sexist, and misogynist. To be branded with any of them is to be sentenced political, financial, and personal ruin.

History teaches is one of the first things that is done by a fascist regime to consolidate power is to eliminate the free press. They use propaganda to control the message and the only voice heard, and certainly the only one that matters, is there’s. Does that sound familiar? It should because that’s exactly what black women have doing for years. As I stated before, first women have secured themselves against attack, and now they are attacking. Actually, they’ve been on the attack for quite some time now.  Look around. Essence, Ebony, The Grio, Clutch, Madam Noire, OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) etc, are all divisions in the sisterhood’s army. They serve one purpose and one purpose only, controlling the narrative of the black community. This is especially true as it relates to dating and relationships.  They attack black men at every turn. They inundate us with false facts. You know, things like how they are more black men in jail or prison than in college, a fact that has been debunked many times and rather easily, I might add. Here’s another one. Black men prefer non-black women. Again, this fact is easily disproved. 86% of all black men that are married are married to black women. Another one they love to tell is that black men aren’t interest in marrying and the ones that are, aren’t worth marrying. Again this is easily disproved. As of 2015, there are 364,000 more married black men than married black women. So, if we don’t want to marry or aren’t marriage material, why are there so many more married black men than black women? I could continue, but I think it’s clear where I’m going. Despite the fact that the integrity of these statements are easily disproved, they remain pervasive in our thought. Why is this? It’s simple, because as I said before, the sisterhood has been able to use the media as their personal propaganda tool and made it so that only their voice, their side of the story could be told. That is until now and that’s why so many black women are upset at the black male YouTube, the negromanosphere, other outfits of similar repute.  Having these conversations via articles, podcasts, hangouts, etc is threatening to them because they can no longer control the message. Even more to the point, because they can no longer dominate the conversation, it forces them to deal with some uncomfortable truths because what has been said private is now being said in public and they have to deal with criticism, which they seek to avoid at all costs.

With all that said, let’s get to the big finish. What is the one thing that sisters must do to win back brothers? What is the one thing that they must do change the dynamic of our relationship and to once again be seen as our sisters? It’s simple. They have to able to be criticized.  Think of it like this. If you have a sibling or siblings and your parents treat them better or different from you, what happens or is likely to happen? You will grow to resent that sibling or siblings because they are being treated differently. We as black people often refer to ourselves as brothers and sisters. This would make us siblings, of sorts.  If we are siblings, the media and government would be our parents.  If that is the case, what you have is one sibling that is clearly being treated better in the form of alimony, custody, and child support.  In the same vein, that same sibling gets preferential treatment for jobs, and receives all the praise and adulation and can do no wrong in their parent’s eyes, while the other sibling is constantly told how he isn’t shit and nothing that he does is ever good enough.

Behavior is driven by incentive. As long as sisters protected from any criticism, regardless of the level of the validity of said criticism, they have no incentive to change.   The gap between us will never be spanned if we are the only ones that can be criticized. To be fair, there are some sorry brothers out there, and they are often called out and rightfully so. The same is not true for the sisters. Whenever they display maladaptive behavior, it almost always rationalized away or the blame shifted away from her.  This diffusion of responsibility and inability to ever be held accountable, has aided and abetted black women for far too long. the only way things can ever change, fences can be mended, and attitudes begin to change is black woman, where applicable, are able to be criticized and held accountable in the same way the black men are. That is the only way that I ever see this gap being bridged.

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