Can A Non-Select Guy Be A High-Value Man?

The current dustup over YouTube star Kevin Samuels' "high value man" formula, proves to be a boon to the Non-Select Guy

The current dustup over YouTube star Kevin Samuels' "high value man" formula, proves to be a boon to the Non-Select Guy
The current dustup over YouTube star Kevin Samuels’ “high value man” formula, proves to be a boon to the Non-Select Guy

“Some motherfuckers always trying to ice skate uphill.”

With professional image consultant, social media personality and de facto “Black Love” expert “Saint Kevin” Samuels’ recent meteoric rise to stardom on “Black YouTube”, everyone seems to be abuzz at the latest. In particular, there has been intense debate surrounding Samuels’ schema of what makes up a “high value (Black) man” – and the scuttlebutt isn’t pretty.

The fact that everyone on “Black social media” from lower-tier personalities like “Reg The Bad Guy” (“REG the BAD GUY LIVE No.404: High value man discussion!!! (Special guest Obsidian Media Network”, Sep 6, 2020))to bigger, well-known names like Jason Black, the self-proclaimed “Black Authority” (“High Value Man Clarified and Explained” Sep 11, 2020) and “Black Love” expert Stephan Labossiere (“Stephan Labossiere Explains How To Become The Man Women Can’t Resist”, Sep 4, 2020), have weighed in on the matter, proves that the conversation, such as it is, in Black online spaces, has reached a new level – and quite a few Black men seem to have a big problem with that. This, despite the fact that Samuels himself has repeatedly stated what he is and is not talking about; this, despite the fact that Samuels has gone out of his way NOT to “beef” with other Black men, content creators or otherwise; and this, despite the fact that he has done nothing but try to help other Black men, and I quote Samuels himself directly here, “be the best version of themselves”. That we have to have yet another(!) round of “Wither grown-assed Black men should suit up, be more ambitious and make more money?” debates, is in itself a damning indictment as to the state of things in 21st century Black America – none of it good. Nevertheless, the facts are hard to deny – over roughly the past few months, Samuels has averaged over 4K live viewers a night on his wildly popular late-night YouTube show, where he often has to chide the largely Black female callers-in not to call in so much, and where the almost-to-a-Black-man financial supporters of his show “make it rain” to the tune of $1K USD or more a night – killing the oft-repeated talking point (read: excuse) that Black men simply won’t financially support another Black man.

Simply put, Samuels is a gamechanger – and many Black men big and small, are forced to do some deep soul searching.

Amid all the rhetorical gunsmoke arises the inevitable question: Can a “non-select guy” in fact, “be a high-value (Black) man”? Your friendly neighborhood Dating Coach for the Non-Select Guy aims to find out!

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Before we get to the burning question – and because there have been a helluva a “telephone game” done on the concept as described above – I thought it prudent to explain, as best I know how, exactly what a “high value (Black) man” exactly is (henceforce abbreviated “HVBM” for brevity’s sake). This comes directly from Samuels’ Sep 9, 2020 YouTube video, “What Is A High Value Man? High Value Men Defined”. I should also say for the record before I begin, that Samuels has promised a brief primer in print on the matter to drop by or before the end of the month. In the meantime though, your correspondent will roll with the aforementioned video as a guide, citing exactly the bullet points Samuels notes in the video, but adding my own commentary onto it.

Samuels’ formula for what makes a HVBM is as follows:

1. Money: HVBM are, in a word, if not outright loaded, at the very least comfortable; Samuels himself sets the bar at about $10K USD/mo., or about $120K USD/yr – and he is keen to note that it starts here; that this is the groundfloor. It may be trite to say, but it is true nonetheless, that “money makes the world go ’round” – and if you want things to happen, you have to have money to do it. For those attempting to argue that a Black man doesn’t need that much money to be an HVBM, sorry fellas – you want to be in the upper middle class of American life to qualify, and we all know that it takes quite a bit of coin to pull that off, in a city or suburb that matters. It is, what it is.

2. Longevity: The next ingredient in Samuels’ HVBM recipe is that the money that a brother earns must be sustained over time (Samuels asserts no less than five years consecutively). His reasoning is because any man can have a really great year or two, but it is the real deal guys who can knock it out of the park year in and year out. It is truly what seperates the contenders from the pretenders; the men from the boys.

3. Group Acceptance: Third up on Samuels’ HVBM list is what he calls group acceptance; and to be frank, I this is where things start to get iffy for lots of Black men, even and in some cases, especially those who are financially successful. This is because many Black men aren’t particularly sociable; for all the grousing to be heard from some Black corners of social media and the internet, in truth far too many Black men glam on to the “lone wolf” and “rugged individualism” of American mythology than most White and other non-Black men do – who can be easily observed forming up all manner of consortiums, cartels and associations with each other for the express purpose of profit. Because of the Black male general reluctance and distrust of other Black men, even those who are economically successful tend to lose out in the long run and in terms of the larger game, because they don’t have a group of likeminded Black men that they can plug into – which has dire consequences, not just for them personally, but for Black America at large.

4. Network: That brings us to number four on Samuels’ list – a HVBM must have a network. This means, simply put, contacts to other HVBM who matter, who are important and who make things happen that said HVBM couldn’t make happen alone. As noted above, all other groups of men in American life will invariably – sooner or later – link up with other likeminded men of their ethinic group to do things together than none of them alone could not. Indeed, a big part of their success, comes directly from this item alone on Kevin’s list(!) – and those who aspire to be HVBM would do well to take this lesson to heart.

5. Visibility: Samuels argues that a HVBM’s success must be visible, public, and “at the LinkedIn level”, taking after the popular professional networking website. He goes on to argue that people have more confidence in you when they can quickly Google you up on their smartphone and your profile, work and estimated earnings can be confirmed at a glance. On the other hand, guys who, while they may make a lot of money, aren’t able to really show it to the public, where what they do has to be hidden behind a shroud, when a man’s who vibe is sketchy, it all acts as repellant to other HVBM and will keep them from associating with you. HVBM are HVBM in large part, because everyone knows they’re HVBM.

6. Utility: Finally, Samuels argues that a HVBM is such in large part because he is useful to others and especially to the group or network to which he belongs. Yet another stumbling block for many Black men, even otherwise successful ones, I might add. Why? Well, it comes from a little openly discussed Black cultural quirk, where Black men as a rule don’t seek to “do each other a solid”, on the pretense that they may get taken advantage of. Such a fearful mindset has hampered many a Black man’s rise in life and with it, the whole of Black American society. Being useful only for yourself and never for anyone else, does not a HVBM make.

Now that we’ve gotten the particulars out of the way, we can move to the burning question that is the topic of today’s column…

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Part of the reason for the uncontrollable knee jerking in response to Samuels’ argument, has to do with the fact that there are quite a few Black men who either pride themselves on their ability to get lots of short term casual sex opportunities from (Black) women with little to no money, and what Samuels is talking about threatens to turnoff the Poon Spigot – especially when thousands of Black women are tuning in night after night with their aspirations of living the good life are laid bare. Sure, many of them may indeed be down for a roll in the hay, a night to remember or a weekend fling with that “fine ass nigga” they met online or at the club; but far too many Black women also know that in Black America, it’s rare to find such a specimen of a man who also qualifies as a HVBM – and of those who are, they are either taken off the market early by one special lady in particular, or, which is a lot more likely to tell you the truth, these guys have a rotation like nobody’s business and the wait in line is long.

In any event, many of the Black men who can be heard angrily registering their discontent at Samuels knows that the handwriting is on the wall and that there is precious little that can be done about it. Simply put, and insofar as current day Black American life is concerned, the answer is not only “Yes!” to the question as to whether a Non-Select Guy can also be a High Value (Black) Man; BUT THAT, MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, SUCH (BLACK) MEN TEND TO COME FROM THIS GROUP.

Here’s why.

In Black American society, the difference between “select” or “non-select” comes to one, what the ladies think and two, hitting what many in Black American refer to as “the genetic lottery” – by which is meant a great build, greater than average height, and leading man looks. Please note that while going to the gym and working out, wearing nice clothes and the like are part of the mix, ultimately what makes one “select” or “non-select” has precious little to do with what a particular Black man did in his life to get to that point; it’s in fact a mix of factors, almost all of them physical, that he had nothing to do with; he just got lucky with a genetic roll of the dice.

On the other hand, what makes the difference in becoming a HVBM, is first that it has nothing in the least to do with (Black) women; and second, that ALL OF THE POINTS ON SAMUELS’ LIST ARE WITHIN THE CONTROL OF ANY MAN TO ACHIEVE. He is limited only by his own talent, work ethic and social skill.

Take a quick look around, not at just the “masters of the universe” today, but down through history, and you’ll soon see that precious few of them were “jawline niggas” – indeed, most of them were nothing special to look at, and quite a few were downright homely. Nevertheless, these are the men who pulled the levers of power, influence, commerce, war and politics for centuries.

Two examples immediately come to mind in this regard, one fictional, the other real life, that easily illustrate my point.

Tyrion Lannister, also known as the Imp or the Halfman, is easily one of millions’ favorite character from the hugely popular HBO fantasy drama “Game of Thrones”. Despite his disability of being born a dwarf, Tyrion nevertheless was born into massive wealth and privilege that shielded him from the worst of social stigma and prejudice. His keen intellect proved to be invaluable, serving as an advisor to two kings and a queen, being the “master of coin” in a small council despite having no fiscal experience, and leading two military campaigns, both successful, again, despite having no prior military experience. Tyrion’s intelligence, wedded with his hailing from a wealthy and prestigious family no doubt not only made him a high value man by definition, by series’ end he had proven that he was arguably THE most high value man in all of Westeros(!).

Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan served four presidents and over a 19-year long career, had his hand not only on the levers of the American economy, but that of the entire world. The economic world seemed to hinge on his every word, and attempts were made to decipher his often inscrutable body language and cryptic statements made at Congressional hearings. Even after leaving the Fed, barely a year later, Greenspan made a statement about the possibility of a recession in the year 2008; the Dow Jones tumbled over 400 points the next day, losing over 3% of its value!

No one would accuse Greenspan of ever being a leading man – on that front the man who put him there, the Gipper himself, clearly had him beat (with the Hollywood bona fides to prove it); but in every demonstrable way, Greenspan was and remains – at the ripe old age of 94(!) – the very epitome of what a high value man is.

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Only one question now remains: “Why does any of this high value (Black) man talk matter over here?” – and the answer to that question I say, is very simple: Because what Samuels’ advocates is right within the Non-Select Guy’s wheelhouse. What we may lack in height, leading man looks or silver-tongued charm, we more than make up for in creativity, intelligence and sheer work ethic to beat the band – things that our more “Select Brothers” have much of or know little about. And, well, they know it – which explains all the hooplah.

For decades, the Black American mating market was predicated on a model that favored the “select” among us – but the current conditions on the ground – and yes I am referring to the Coronavirus pandemic, have changed all that. Heading into both a second wave of what could prove to be deadly pandemic conditions across the country, combined with the advent of Cuffing Season in only a few short weeks, can and will leave many Black women thinking long and hard about their previous dating and mating decisions – and they WILL want to do something different. That means that what has worked before in the past, isn’t likely to continue in the future – and again, our naysaying brothers know it.

I have long said to the brothers of this dojo, that a Gentleman has a social life. Kevin Samuels’ take on what makes a high value man then, fits like the proverbial hand in a glove.

We’re done here.

Now adjourn your asses…


Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host, newly minted dating coach and soon to be author. You can catch his daily live shows on the global livestreaming radio website Mixlr, as well as the all-new members-only Obsidian Radio Zoomcast, and his podcasts on YouTube and Black Avenger TV, as well as his weekly dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. He’s also a semi-professional pest.

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