Time is Money: Why Inviting Women on Dates is Always a Gamble

Anytime a man invites women out on one or more dates in pursuit of those women's romantic or strictly sexual companionship, he is essentially 'gambling' with his valuable time and money

Because I am the Author & Creator of what is known as The Mode One Approach, which is a form of verbally communicating one’s sexual desires, interests, and intentions to members of the opposite sex in a manner that is bold, direct, upfront, very specific, and straightforwardly honest … my method has attracted a number of ‘harsh critics’ who believe that a man choosing to discuss his honest sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women in the very first face-to-face conversation and/or very first telephone conversation is representative of “dating suicide.”

Consequently, many men endorse what is known in the Attraction & Seduction Community (otherwise known as the Pickup Artist / PUA Community) what is known as “The 3-Date Rule.”  What is the concept behind the infamous 3-Date Rule?


The basic concept behind The 3-Date Rule is that if a woman does not agree to engage in oral sex with you and/or sexual intercourse with you by the end of your third date with her (or at bare minimum, allow you to ‘make out’ with her and possibly give you a sexually satisfying hand job by the end of the third date), then you should end all communication and all social interactions with that particular woman, and simply move on to your next new woman of interest.  Many men believe that The 3-Date Rule should especially be employed if your primary interest is one or more episodes of short-term non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex (as opposed to entering into a long-term, emotionally profound, strictly monogamous romantic relationship with the woman).

There are many professional pickup artists (PUAs) and fellow dating coaches who swear by The 3-Date Rule.  Many men feel that an investment of roughly six-to-ten hours and $75 – $240 per woman is not much to sacrifice for the opportunity to exchange orgasms with a woman who is beautiful, sexy, and could earn a ranking as a “7,” “8,” “9,” or “10” on the mythical “1-10” universal scale of evaluating women’s level of beauty & sex appeal.

The question then becomes … what if you invest a significant amount of time and money in pursuit of the sexual companionship of say, seventeen (17) beautiful and sexy women over the course of a full calendar year … and none of those seventeen women end up performing oral sex on you, agreeing to engage in vaginal or anal intercourse with you, or even allow you to tongue kiss them at length, make out with them, and generously offer you a hand job by the end of the third date?


Similar to the paragraph above, let’s say you invited no less than seventeen (17) women on a minimum of three (3) lunch dates, dinner dates, and/or dinner-and-a-movie dates.  Let’s say you were willing to spend a minimum average of $25.00 on each of those three dates per woman … and your maximum of average was $80.00 on each of those three dates per woman.

Minimum monetary expense per woman:  $75.00

Maximum monetary expense per woman:  $240.00

When doing the math, this would mean that your minimum expenditure over the course of a calendar year for going out on three dates with a minimum of seventeen (17) women would be $1,275.00.  Your maximum expenditure for the same number of women over the same course of time would be $4,080.00.


Being generous, let’s say that at least three of the seventeen women agreed to exchange orgasms with you while the other fourteen women rejected your sexual advances by no later than the end of the their third date with you.

This would mean that at minimum, you would spend $425.00 per woman for each of the three women you ended up receiving oral sex from and/or engaging in sexual intercourse with.  Now, if you’re a man of wealthy means, that amount of money is nothing.  On the other hand, if you have an average 9-to-5 job earning less than $40,000 per year, $425.00 per sex partner is a big chunk of change.

That is not to mention if you spent closer to $75.00 – $80.00 per date on each of the seventeen women.  If you ended up engaging in sexual relations with three of the seventeen women, that would amount to anywhere from $1,275 – $1,360 per consenting sex partner.

For those amounts, as a man you would have been better off connecting with two or three women who are self-proclaimed ‘Sugar Babies.’  At least if you ‘wine and dine’ a woman who is a Sugar Baby type, you would be guaranteed to exchange orgasms with her.  Same thing goes for women who are street prostitutes, professional Call Girls, or upscale Erotic Escorts.  Spending money on the sexual companionship of professional sex workers is indeed illegal in most cities and countries (what is known as “tricking” or more formally, “solicitation of a prostitute”), but at least you would be guaranteed a woman’s sexual companionship and some degree of sexual enjoyment and satisfaction.  It is always better to spend money on guaranteed sexual companionship than to gamble away money on simply The Possibility of Sex.


One question I ask in the audiobook version of my book, Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking, is “if you had to place a monetary value on each hour of your free time, what would that rate be?  $10 per hour? $25 per hour?  $50 per hour?  $100 per hour?  More?”

For example, if the value you place on your non-physical, non-sexual companionship with a woman is $25.00 per hour … and the value that a woman places on her sexual companionship with a man is $150.00 per hour … then that would mean that six (6) hours of your non-sexual companionship is worth one hour of a woman’s sexual companionship.

Are you willing to invest six (6) hours with a woman for each (1) hour that you engage in sexual activity with that woman?

Get your calculators out and access to your Quicken Financial Budgeting software and marinate on that question for the next few weeks and months.


Note: Columnist Alan Roger Currie will not have a published article posted on the following dates due to his travel schedule and/or vacation plans:

  • Monday, November 5, 2018
  • Monday, November 26, 2018
  • Monday, December 24, 2018
  • Monday, December 31, 2018

Senior writer Alan Roger Currie was recently named the 2017 Charles Tyler Freelance Writer & Columnist of the Year for the NegroManosphere.com, and he was also named the NegroManosphere.com’s 2017 Best Dating Coach for Men on YouTube and 2017 Black Male YouTube Personality of the Year. More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions. Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships. If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks. Currie has been a featured speaker at many dating advice workshops for men in the United States as well as internationally. Currie was the first African-American to be a featured speaker at The 21 Convention and was a featured speaker for the second time on Saturday, October 13, 2018 in Orlando, Florida. If you want to become a Patreon.com subscriber of Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie, CLICK HERE

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About Alan Roger Currie 91 Articles
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks, and is best known for the ground-breaking best-seller "Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking"; Currie is also a professional Men's Dating Coach who has worked with clients all over the world, and has conducted speaking engagements and workshops in many cities both in the U.S. and internationally. Contact him at coaching@modeone.net