Derrick Jaxn Proves That All Women Are NOT Created Equal

The "self-love ambassador"'s own actions have proven that men do different things for different women - and science bears it out

                                                                                    Compare & contrast, fellas!

“We have mistresses for our enjoyment,
concubines to serve our person, and wives for
the bearing of legitimate offspring.”

As the Derrick Jaxn dumpster fire continues to burn its way throughout the globe’s social media, we in this dojo would do well to study very carefully the public confessions of Jaxn himself, the public tell-all testimonies of his three (at present!) mistresses, the material evidence we have at the moment (which would include photographs of all the parties involved save one, as well as text messages and the like) and consider what we can learn from it all.

In my previous two columns on the matter (“The (Inevitable) Downfall Of Derrick Jaxn – & What Non-Select Guys Can Learn From It”, Mar 23, 2021 & “Proof That Derrick Jaxn Has NO GAME”, Mar 31, 2021, both on the website), I gave a general overall of the Jaxn situation and a more detailed of his “game” and the extent to which it utterly sucked, with additional tips and pointers for Obsidians to go by in their own endeavors out on these dating and mating streets. Today, we take things a step further, building on the aforementioned previous columns, with an in-depth look at something the overwhelming vast majority of pickup artists and dating coaches completely miss in their teaching and writing: Something known ironically enough in pickup circles, as “Target Selection”. Finally, we will look at what the science says about how and why Jaxn approached the women he got entangled with (see what I did there?) he treated in very different ways.

Let’s get right to it!

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Haven’t you heard? The wait is over, and it’s official – “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman” has finally arrived and is NOW available at BookBaby, Amazon and wherever fine books are sold – get your copy NOW!!! Better yet, get your personally autographed copy – CLICK HERE for more details! OK, let’s get back to the article!

According to “The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society of Pickup Artists”, a target is defined as “the woman in a group whom the pickup artist desires and is running game on.” (pp. 447).

The venerable online resource for all things pickup-related,, gives a more detailed definition of the term:

“A target is a specific girl that the PUA is interested in hooking up with. In a set with multiple girls, the PUA must identify the girl he is interested in, especially if he has a wing, so that they can work together rather than against each other.

Failing to identify a target can result in the PUA losing all the girls within a set. This is because he loses his focus, and the girls in the set lose interest. An interaction should always be progressing towards some goal, and it is important for the PUA to make his intentions known. For AFCs and even GPUAs, their target is often whichever girl is interested in them. But PUAs should choose the girls that they are attracted to the most. This will help them show genuine interest.

The general rule with targets is to initially show them less attention than the other women in the set, using tactics such as negs and playful banter to demonstrate active disinterest. This sets up a dynamic where the target will begin chasing after the PUA, rather than the other way around.

Some members of the community dislike the word “target” because it seems to objectify and depersonalize women. They feel that using such language to describe women hinders PUAs from genuinely connecting with them. However, many PUAs find the word “target” to be convenient shorthand for “the girl I’m interested in,” and continue to use it in field. Regardless of the words one uses, it is important for PUAs to identify the women that they are interested in gaming, communicate this to their wings, and craft their pickup strategy accordingly.”

What is clear from both definitions is that a “target” is the woman, or women, that one is romantically and/or sexually interested in. The problem here, isn’t with the definitions from my point of view, but rather, with how the utter lack of detailed discussion in Black male circles, is devoted to it. Target selection is the “make you or break you” aspect of game that is rarely if ever brought up among Black men along these lines, often with disasterous results – like child support, divorce, and in the case of Jaxn, a career in shambles. No matter what the interaction along amorous lines with a (Black) woman, your target selection is the key criterion as to whether said interaction will come off without a hitch, or whether it will seriously catch you up.

Which reminds me of something I’d long been meaning to further explicate for some time now…

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Haven’t you heard? The wait is over, and it’s official – “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman” has finally arrived and is NOW available at BookBaby, Amazon and wherever fine books are sold – get your copy NOW!!! Better yet, get your personally autographed copy – CLICK HERE for more details! OK, let’s get back to the article!

A word about marital infidelity is in order here before I go any further and while I’m on the all-important matter of target selection: For the record, I do not endorse or condone in any way, marital infidelity. It is my firm belief that in the 21st century, it is completely unnecessary for any Black man in general and Black men of the stripe my writings are aimed at in particular (High Value Black Men), to do so. Whether a Black man should or should not marry is a matter that each individual Black man must decide for himself; but if he chooses to take a wife, knowing that he has a very polygamous nature, he should inform his bride to be of this and let her decide if she wants to sign on or not, upfront. Marrying her under the understanding that he will be faithful to her and her alone, while all along knowing that he will not, goes against the Obsidian Code.

With that being said, and with the Jaxn situation remaining in view for today’s discussion, it must also be stated that there are in fact “rules” in place for the taking of mistresses and “side chicks”; indeed, in five minutes of quickly searching the internet, Google provides three corroborating pieces of evidence that among those “rules” is the utmost importance of discretion:

“2. Be discreet. Realize that if you do anything to cause his wife to discover your secret, he will only hate you for it and you will likely lose him.” (“The Role of the Mistress“, Sep 3, 2019,

“10. Keep Your Lips Sealed

Many mistresses end up blowing their cover by blabbing about their romance with anyone who will listen, this cannot happen. If you want to bring your situation with this man to an abrupt and horrifying end, tell everyone you know that you’re sleeping with him. Word will eventually get back to him and his wife, and you’ll have more problems on your hands than you could have ever imagined. So to be the best mistress that he has ever had, you’ve got to learn to keep your lips sealed. When friends ask you why you can’t hang out, don’t tell them it’s because your married boo is coming over to give you a sensual massage. You’ll need to come up with lies…lots of lies. And unfortunately, you’ll start to get pretty good at fibbing to your family and friends. But it will be worth it as long as you can keep him in your life, right?” (“15 Ways To Be The Best Mistress”, Jul 29, 2016,

“7. Be discreet, confide in no one. If you are a known mistress do not divulge details of your relationship.” (“The Mistress Handbook”, circa Sep 2017,

In all three cases above – and in many, many other writs classical and modern – the role of discretion is key. I bring this up because Jaxn’s picks in whom to have dalliances with – his “target selection” – was utter trash. And that was because none of the mistresses that we know of, were able (or willing?) to keep their mouths shut.

While debate rages on about whether high value men cheat or merely “exercises options”, what is being left out of the discourse is the very real fact that in today’s social media-driven, internet-connected world, there are precious few Black women who are able or willing to remain silent – a fundament of “exercising options”. As Jaxn’s situation clearly showed, the “side chicks” of Black America reserve the right to blow up the spot at any time, giving further evidence that Black women have jettisoned the old rules of doing things a long way back.

We here in this dojo, are merely returning the favor and bringing balance to the Force.

Today, it is much better all the way around, to be a confirmed bachelor and open, avowed hedonist – for that fact to be publicly known to all. This way, any Black woman you get involved with knows, right off the rip, what she’s dealing with and what she can expect. No secrets. No old world expectations that a jumpoff, side piece or mistress will keep confidences; and no messy stuff involving a marriage that has blown up. Besides, with marital infidelity being the highest in the Black community anyway (“Who Cheats More? The Demographics of Infidelity in America”, Jan 10, 2018, Institute for Family Studies website:, who needs the headache, right?

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Haven’t you heard? The wait is over, and it’s official – “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman” has finally arrived and is NOW available at BookBaby, Amazon and wherever fine books are sold – get your copy NOW!!! Better yet, get your personally autographed copy – CLICK HERE for more details! OK, let’s get back to the article!

Getting back to the aforementioned matter, Jaxn’s moves over the past two years or so have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that in the minds of (Black) men, all women are not created equal. His wife is considered by all to be “average at best” looking (and for the record, I would say that she’s a “Respectable Six” when dolled up), while his second mistress is considered to be something of a “Buttaface” and the third mistress, a surgeon, while not positively identified, has been rumored to be a “BBW” – but if there is one person in Jaxn’s life that we know of for certain that he has gone all out for, it’s his first mistress – one Ms. Candice De Meneiros.

De Meneiros, whom Jaxn has known for more than a decade, is clearly the better looking and most attractive of the publicly known and acknowledged of Jaxn’s women to date – including his wife – and his actions bear that out. Jaxn had been pining away for and pursuing De Meneiros for years and was finally able to realize his ambitions in the summer of 2019 during a time of separation between himself and his wife, DaNaia. According to published news reports and Jaxn’s own text messages – of which there are many – to De Meneiros, Jaxn spent considerable sums on her to have her “flewed out” to mulitple locations to meet with him, including Miami, FL and Tunum, Mexico. Additionally, Jaxn spent considerably for rented mansions and yachts to party in/on, putting De Meneiros up at nice hotels and Air BNBs, and even at one point handing off a cash gift to De Meneiros in excess of $1K USD(!).

Compare and contrast to mistresses #2 & #3 – both of whom report no such lavish outings. Indeed, “Lanai” – the second mistress – reported only going back and forth to Jaxn’s “bachelor pad” across town, and having to get herself “flewed out” to a Mexican getaway with Jaxn(!); while the third mistress, again a surgeon, reportedly met Jaxn at the Lenox Mall in the Atlanta area. She further reported that all of her trysts with Jaxn – which was as recently as last month(!) – took place at her home. No getting “flewed out” to exotic locations. No lavish dinner dates. And no cash gifts and prizes.

Well, as it turns out, there is scientific evidence that explains Jaxn’s actions towards all four (including his wife now) women that we know of; in a Nov 5, 2010 article appearing in the New York Times titled, “For Long Term, Men Favor Face Over Figure”, research conducted by among others Prof. David M. Buss found that:

“According to a new study, men care more about a woman’s face than they do about her body when seeking a long-term relationship.”


“Women treated bodies and faces alike, independent of short- or long-term interest. Men, however, made a distinction between face and figure, depending on their intent. Among male participants, 25 percent of those who were told to consider the person as a long-term partner chose to see the figure, compared with 51 percent who chose the body if they were looking at a potential short-term partner.”

Here’s the rationale:

“Here is how the authors explain it: a woman’s face and body signify different things, they say. To put it in clinical terms, facial features are cues of youth and health, and features like large eyes are feminine because “they are sensitive to the rise in estrogen levels that accompanies puberty and persists through a woman’s reproductive lifespan.” This would indicate long-term reproductive value; that is, the time a woman has left to reproduce.”

And finally, there’s this:

“The body, meanwhile, signifies fertility in the here and now. A young and comely pregnant woman, for example, would have a high reproductive value but zero current fertility potential — she is clearly already taken. Evolutionary psychology theory holds that men value current fertility (body) more in a short-term mate and reproductive value (face) in the long term.”

The aforementioned article remains online and repays study and reading in full; but the implications in light of what we know about Jaxn, are clear: he clearly made more “mating effort” when it came to De Meneiros, than the other two mistresses, both of whom are lauded for their “fat asses” than anything else. And they were treated accordingly.

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Haven’t you heard? The wait is over, and it’s official – “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman” has finally arrived and is NOW available at BookBaby, Amazon and wherever fine books are sold – get your copy NOW!!! Better yet, get your personally autographed copy – CLICK HERE for more details! OK, let’s get back to the article!

That brings us back to Ms. DaNaia Jaxn, the long suffering wife of a stompdown malignant narcissist; in the wake of the bombshell revelations of Jaxn’s rank hypocrisy and adultery broke the internet last month, speculation has run rampant that he married DaNaia for appearances’ sake; for the sake of his brand as a Reformed Select Fuckboy Made Good(TM). I have to admit that I was skeptical about all of that at first; but in the weeks since, I’ve had a change of heart – and here’s why:

1. Jaxn has confirmed himself that after getting DaNaia pregnant, that he had to marry her lest he be outed as a hypocrite (“Derrick Jaxn – Apologizes For Cheating, Hawks New Book – Sun, Mar 21, 2021 VIDEO” originally airing on YouTube but Jaxn has since taken it down – but not before I could grab a copy of it!).

2. Jaxn has since brought the long suffering wife out (as high value men who “exercise their options” on their wives often do – recall the infamous 60 Minutes interview with then-presidential hopeful Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary Clinton, in the wake of Gennifer Flowers, a longtime mistress of Bill’s, coming out and spilling the tea) in a clear and blatant effort to “save the brand”.

3. I personally believe, that DaNaia was the business brains of the operation; and I say this in part because of her own professional background in HR in the Tech sector. She brought considerable skills to the table that Jaxn would need and indeed, if one goes back and carefully listens to his videos, he makes frequent mention of how important a Black woman’s skills and education is to a Black man getting ahead. We now know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Jaxn was talking about – and telling – on himself.

All of which to say, that Jaxn clearly knew, understood, differentiated the various women in his life and acted accordingly with regard to all of them.

As Black America continues to grapple with the full implications of what the Jaxn scandal truly represents – as a “Great Recalibration” sets in – a series of “inconvenient truths” will have to be confronted. One of them, will be the unavoidable and time-honored fact, that all women are not created equal in the eyes of men. Some are wives; others are concubines; and others still, are jumpoffs.

Choose wisely, my friends.

Now adjourn your asses…


Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host, commentator, newly minted dating coach and author of “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”. You can catch his daily live shows on YouTube & Mixlr, as well as his dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. One of the “Three Kings” of the Black Manosphere, Mr. Ali has contributed to the creation and development of Black Male Media. Follow him on Instagram at @ObsidianRadio. He’s also a semi-professional pest.

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