Dinner Whore Registry

With scientific evidence about a persistent problem on the dating scene now in hand, your correspondent has come up with a modest proposal to address the scourge of Dinner Whoring

                                                 One of the best writs known to man.

“Men love women with a past, because they’re hoping that history will repeat itself.”
-Mae West

This has been a very interesting week out on these Black social media streets; last night one of my best friends alerted me to the fact that Dr. Umar Johnson would be making an appearance on “Fox Soul” on YouTube; the topic – “Why Are Black Women Unlikable?”. Slated to roll at 11PM EDT, I was there with bells on as I didn’t want to miss the proceedings.

However, as is so often the case with Black folks, the whole thing actually went down an hour later(!); which meant that I had some time to check in on my good friend and brother in arms, “Saint Kevin” Samuels. His topic for the evening? “Don’t Make High Value Men Wait For ___” (YouTube, Oct 15, 2020) – the “___” being sex, of course. It seemed that, rather intentional or not, Kevin was focused on a very familiar theme this week – that of Black women engaging in what economists call “Price Discrimination” – “charging” one Black man one “price” to have sex, while “charging” another Black man another “price”. With Samuels doing gangbuster-level shows in general since the late spring/early summer period, it’s hard to top yourself but in my estimation he truly has this week.

So, while we all waited for Dr. Umar to make his grand appearance, the Fox Soul panel of two guys and three ladies tossed this interesting topic onto the table: What should Black women do if they happen to come across that Ultra-Fine Adonis at the club, lounge or other social event – should they go home with him and “enjoy” themselves – or should they pass? It didn’t take long for the three sistas on the panel to respond: They were unanimous that any such Black woman would be a fool NOT to take advantage of such an opportunity – so long as they were able to snap a quick pic of his conspicuously handsome visage and keep a GPS lock on their smartphone. Can never be too careful, don’t you know.

The Pre-Dr. Umar Fox Soul segment stood in glaring relief to what Kevin was attempting to do this whole week with the scores of Black women who call in to his shows: Get them to admit that “price discrimination” was real, that A LOT of them engage in it, and that it is patently UNFAIR – and not for the reasons you think. It’s unfair because, as Kevin has pointed out numerous times this week, a lot of Black women are going out on nice dates with Black men they know they are NOT sexually attracted to AT ALL, wasting said brothers’ time AND money, while at the same time having absolutely no compunctions about hopping in the sack with Mr. Beefcake right off the rip – no questions asked. And while no Black woman was Woman Enough to confess to Saint Kevin why they do this, the Grim Reaper, always a dozen steps ahead of everyone else, is at your service:

Because the guys that get the ladies moist are either broke, or simply ain’t gonna treat the ladies to nothing more than a roll in the hay. And because the guys who do have something going for them, but might not turn the sistas’ crank, are willing to play ball.

Too bad the fix was in before the Non-Select Guys ever stepped up to bat.

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Like what you’re reading now? Wait till you see my very first book, “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”! Here’s YOUR chance to help me bring the dream to life, by supporting “The Book of Obsidian Fundraising Campaign”! All the details are over at GoGetFunding.com. Now, back to the article!

CLARIFYING “THE NEW WORLD ORDER”
There will no doubt be Black women who will lift their voices in vociferous protest, arguing that they’re being “pressured” into sex in a mechanical transaction more akin to a harlot and her customer than a romantic frolic-filled evening out – save it.

What Black women have to understand AND accept, is the fact that the jig, is up. Thanks to a combination of a democratizing of technology, namely the ubiquity of smartphones, the spread of social media and the ability of Black men from all walks of life and for our purposes here, Select Guys being able to openly discuss their sexploits with Non-Select Guys, Black men across the board are now very well aware of the games so many Black women play in our time, both directly in the form of them actually putting out for that really hawt guy at the social outing of their choice, and indirectly in the form of many Black women who know intimately other Black women who not only have given the goods up to Snickers Guy and Mr. Skittles but then try to turn around and pull a “Steve Harvey” (read: “90 Day Rule”) on Mr. Non-Select Guy.

Such an age, is over.

As “The Professor” Tom Leykis has famously said, “Dating=Porking” – and if Black men get the inkling that LOTS of Black women are out here bumping bellies “for the free”, it’s going to be very, very hard to make the case that ANY Black man today should be out here “courtin'”, as if this was 1950. It’s NOT. We are several decades removed from the Sexual Revolution, and in a grand ironic twist that only those possessed of the most sardonic of wits would appreciate, Black men today are far and away more enlightened as to Black women’s sexuality than the vast majority of Black feminists would have us believe. The problem isn’t that Black women like to screw and suck – the problem is that far too many of them want us to believe that they don’t when we can clearly see otherwise, AND try to impose a “price” on other guys they really ain’t feeling in the first place, dangling the sexual carrot in their faces as a perverted inducement.

Sorry ladies, but that ship done sailed a long way back.

In today’s more enlighted world, sex happens before ANYTHING else – as well it should be – and so, the solution to this little problem is very simple, since the likelihood is very high that you will be reading this sooner than later:

DON’T GO OUT WITH ANY MAN YOU ARE NOT SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO, AND AREN’T PREPARED TO PUT OUT FOR THAT SAME DAY.

ANY Black man and for purposes of today’s discussion Non-Select Guy, who takes a woman out on a nice date WITHOUT thoroughly ravishing her at some point on that same calendar date, is a Fool of the First Order and deserves everything he didn’t get. There is simply no excuse under the sun as to how and why any such brother would bother with rules from an era long dead – especially when Select Fuckboys are out here hip-deep in vaj, AND clowning YOU for being a Fool.

I have devised a plan whereby you are certain to minimize your chances of being an easy mark for Dinner Whores, along with countermeasures to punish offenders and violators, which follow in the next section below.

As for the ladies, let me end this section by saying this – and hear my words well. In no way do I or any of the Obsidians, begrudge a Black woman’s right to a sex life, nor her choice of sexual partners and companions. We have no problem with any of that, nor do we see that in and of itself as being in dispute.

But what we Obsidians DO have a serious problem with, is so many of you now openly making it clear that you’ll bang thus and so Select Fuckboy for little or nothing, but then demand that the Non-Select Guys wine and dine you for an interminable amount of time, and “maybe” they’ll get a whiff of that snatch. Uh, NO. That era is thankfully OVER. From here on out, you’ll be banging for a Flat Rate – and if you can’t get with that, you know how to show your way out of our lives. There are others who will happily take your place.

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Like what you’re reading now? Wait till you see my very first book, “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”! Here’s YOUR chance to help me bring the dream to life, by supporting “The Book of Obsidian Fundraising Campaign”! All the details are over at GoGetFunding.com. Now, back to the article!

VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED
Last year, in the summer of 2019 that is, I began to pen my magnum opus, “The Book of Obsidian” – and one of its early chapters deals with a practice that I have called “Dinner Whoring” – that is to say, that there are women in our society who go out on nice dates with men knowing full well that they are not sexually attracted to them. My contribution to the growing corpus of Black male dating coach knowledge was buttressed by social science research – research that Samuels himself recounted in one of his broadcasts earlier this week, in fact. A major study involving more than a thousand women found that one third of them engaged in dinner whoring, and often justified their ill-repute behaviors on anything and everything else but themselves. Such is to be expected of those who exhibit Dark Triad traits, as the study bore out. Since part of my first book (which I hope to publish soon; stay tuned!) was previously released to the public in the form of weekly columns at a popular Black men’s issues website, my dinner whore piece made the rounds of Black social media, with Black women being particularly aggrieved. The usual protestations were trotted out, like the study didn’t particularly examine Black women’s social behaviors in particular, and so on – all of which I fully conceded – but I then noted that it was not outside the bounds of social science research to extrapolate or formulate a hypothesis from a set of known data. We might not have the hard and fast empirical numbers bearing on dinner whoring in contemporary Black America – but our eyes don’t lie – just about every Black man reading these words knows exactly what I’m talking about. And judging from the 4K live views a night that Samuels has pulled in this week alone, so do quite a few Black women.

But, we know all of that already, right? For forward leaning men of action in this grand assembly, the question at this juncture is, what to do about it?

In another pre-release chapter of “The Book of Obsidian” written in the summer of 2019 and made available only to private members of Obsidian Radio, I proposed that Black men form up their own gentlemen’s clubs, from which they can then put together a registry of Black female offenders of “price discrimination”:

“A very common response to listeners and folks who talk to me about my itinerary thing is to say, “You know them sistas are just gonna take the dinner and dip out, right?” – thinking that I hadn’t already planned for this very likely scenario. Well, as it turns out, I have given the matter lots of thought and have come up with the appropriate response:

Reputational damage.

That’s right, bros – if you happen to take out a Black woman who writes back opting into your date plans knowing that sex is on the menu and she tries to dip out on you instead after the food and drinks are consumed, you simply turn to your gentleman’s network and put the word out on her that she’s a Black woman whose word cannot be trusted. This is one of the perks of being a gentleman – they have social networks. Where they pretty much get all of their needs met – employment and business opportunities and advancement, as well as in matters pertaining to dating and mating. And a social network can have a pretty devastating impact on Lying, Freeloading, Psychopathic Bitches. Once the word is out on her, no one in the gentleman’s network would dare attempt to take her out and they will be keen to continue spreading the word about such a woman, too.

Lest you think my modest proposal is too harsh, just consider this: WOMEN PUBLICLY SHAME MEN VIA SOCIAL MEDIA ALL THE TIME. Remember that whole “dick pic” thing? Women have shamed guys on social media for that. What about this video by dating expert fixture Deborrah Cooper (“Why Single Men Are Rejected or Friend Zoned by Single Women”) – yea, that. In fact, just spend a bit of time scanning social media and you’ll see all kinds of examples of women of all colors but especially Black, shaming and “outing” (Black) men for their supposed misdeeds, real and imagined. All I’m proposing is that Black men STOP playing by the outdated, Marquess of Queensbury rules of engagement and give the little ladies a taste of their own medicine. After all, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander – right?” (“Sex Is On The Menu: Make An Itinerary”, Obsidian Radio Newsletter, Aug 7, 2019)

The brothers will kindly note that I wrote these words in early Aug, 2019 – barely a week after I wrote the first publicly accessible chapter above. There was no “gentlemen’s club” for Black men of a certain stripe then.

But, thanks to Saint Kevin, there is one now.

Oh what a difference a year makes, right?

Therefore, and in closing: I propose, that we create a Dinner Whore Registry of Black female offenders of price discrimination, per the parameters laid out above. Since it has become abundantly clear that Black women simply refuse to police themselves, it falls to us good Black men to do it – and merely treating this as an individual problem isn’t good enough; this will require a “both/and” approach – indivudual and collective, micro and macro.

Who will join me?

Now adjourn your asses…

MOA

Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host, newly minted dating coach and soon to be author. You can catch his daily live shows on the global livestreaming radio website Mixlr, as well as the all-new members-only Obsidian Radio Zoomcast, and his podcasts on YouTube and Black Avenger TV, as well as his weekly dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. He’s also a semi-professional pest.

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