Discovering I Was A Simp At Age 53

Simp

The author of this article wants to remain anonymous please enjoy!

 

If you are a black man and are reading this, hopefully you are aware of the ills of the black community. We all should be cognizant of the fact that a major pitfall we are encountering is the diminishing of manhood caused by single black mothers. Black men in their 20’s-30’s and current young black boys are the prominent demographic that are being affected or are they?

I am 53-year-old black man and I beg to differ with this logic. I was born in the sixties to a single mother and I can tell you this phenomenon, if you want to call it that has been prevalent since then. I’d like to think that being the son of a single black woman back then was the catalyst for what goes on today in many black communities. I was born in a Salvation Army Hospital in Buffalo NY.  This facility was for poor women who could not afford adequate health care and had very little means.

Growing up, I always had the sense I was different from other kids. One the one hand, I was endowed with the ability to read on a college level at the age of 2 second, all the kids I played with had both parents in the home and I did not. In fact, I did not meet my father until I was 15 in an unlikely way, too lengthy to expound on here. One thing I can tell you is, not having any male guidance in your early years of life can be as detrimental as not knowing 1+1 equals 2.

Looking back on my life I can plainly see how I evolved, developed or whatever adjective you wish to use into a simp. I vividly remember that my mom used to go to these card parties that were attended by other single mothers. It was plain to see that they quickly transformed into black men bashing sessions. The favorite phrase used by all of the women was “my children(s) father ain’t shit.” They didn’t say “baby daddy” back then. Over a period of time I began to develop a mistrust of black men because I believed what these women were saying and due to fact I had zero male influence in my life at home or school with the exception of the school principal who used to paddle my ass when I got into trouble I began to believe it even more.

My mother never talked to me about anything, she worked multiple jobs that left me to being a latch-key kid. I was devoid not only of a black male in my life but also the nurturing that was supposed to be instinctive in a mother. Being left to my own devices I found myself on a road of self-destruction learning along the way that if I was going to get girls to like me I had to give them things, I have since learned this was my introduction to simpdom. Of course, this never worked for me and I could not understand why.

As I got into my 20’s and began to figure out what I wanted to do with my life there were two constants: one, I still was devoid of strong male influence in my life even though I had received some guidance from my High School basketball coach. Two, I dove deeper into simpdom and I could never get a girl without giving her shit and always ended up wondering why she would not stay with me and cheat with other men. Shit got so bad for me that I would go years without dating and not having sex at all. My simpdom came to a head when I met my ex-wife she was a black woman with the requisite big ass and pretty face and two kids by two different men. She gave me the pussy after only 3 hours of being with her and as you can guess it sent me on a mission to do whatever it took to keep her. We ended up getting married and had two sons of our own and I did all the things that I later learned that simps do. Things such as not speaking up for myself and not asserting my manhood and leadership role in my home, in other words this woman put a skirt on me and this sent me into a constant state of low self-esteem and personal failure. I finally got the courage to throw this woman out of my home and I divorced her and got custody of my sons. But in the midst of that I still pandered to women in order to fuck them and that rarely worked sending me into an addiction to porn and all that comes with that.

It wasn’t until I discovered the Manosphere that I found that I was real fucked up not only with women but myself as a whole. I found that I was lacking assertiveness, backbone and real masculinity. I thank these brothers from the bottom of my heart because those things that I was lacking I am finding them today. If you have read this and are a black man we need to support their endeavors because as Oshay always says we have tremendous economic power and we need to flex that in any way we can.

In conclusion, learning I was a simp was the most therapeutic thing that has ever happened to me. The chief lesson I have learned is that I never have to settle for less than what I deserve and I am always a strong brother no matter what anyone else thinks.

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