Communication is said to the be the most important element within the context of a sexual relationship between a man and a woman. While this is somewhat true on a very low level it’s really not as necessary as “relationship experts” would lead you to believe. This quasi-falsehood is also spewed by your friends and family to make themselves sound like they know what they’re talking about but when they stop grandstanding as purveyors of professional relationship advice (even though their own relationships are nothing short of dumpster fires) they say things like “actions speak louder than words” which flies directly in the face of the aforementioned adage and contradicts it completely.
Trust also falls into this category but it’s even less necessary to have a rock solid relationship of consequence with a woman. Though it’s touted as one of the main building blocks to a solid relationship foundation, it’s simply not true…at least not for men.
Far too many men who “trust” their women are the first and quickest to get cheated on and much of the time they’re blindsided by it. He told his homeboys his girl goes to the bar every Thursday night for girl’s night out because he trusts her not to do anything stupid. A man allows his wife to get a personal trainer at the gym because she convinced him she needed to “work on her core.”
Unbeknownst to either man, dude’s girlfriend fucks the bartender in the storage room every Thursday night and the married man’s wife is fucking her personal trainer, who, by the way, she failed to tell her husband that he was a man, when she goes to the gym. Both men “trusted” their women and their women violated his trust.
But here’s the thing:
If you give your woman any modicum of trust it is inevitable that she will betray you
Women are hard wired to destroy themselves if left to their own devices…and by destroy, I mean destroy themselves with dicks. They are not to be trusted in any circumstance when they’re around men. Work, the coffee shop, the grocery store, the gym, or anywhere she sees men on the regular. Granted, she’s human and she’s going to look. Your woman will be attracted to other men just like you will be attracted to other women. But that doesn’t mean you have to grease the skids for her pussy to get pounded by someone else’s cock under the myth of “trust” in this day and age.
Women use “trust” to give them room to cheat
Ever heard a girl say this?
“If we don’t have trust, we don’t have anything!”
How ’bout this?
“How can you love me if you don’t trust me?”
Here’s the hard truth: Women use the trust myth to give them room to cheat on you. If you question why she’s going to lunch with DeAndre at the office every afternoon, she’ll hit you with “You don’t trust me?” She asks you this in an attempt to marginalize your concerns so that she can continue with the behavior that will eventually lead to her fucking DeAndre in his car at lunch.
As a man in a committed relationship, you have every right to know where your woman is, what she’s doing, and who she’s doing it with. If you don’t approve, you have the right to veto her activities.
Back to the lunch with DeAndre situation. You find out your girl’s been to lunch with him every day this week. She tells you she’s going to lunch with him again today (Today’s Friday). Here’s how this conversation needs to go whether it’s via text or in person:
Her: I’m going to lunch with DeAndre today.
You: You’ve been to lunch with him every day this week……
Her: Is there a problem with that???
You: Yeah, Keisha, that’s a big fuckin’ problem. You’re not going to lunch with him anymore.
Her: You can’t tell me what to do! I’m a grown ass woman! I can go to lunch with whoever I want!
You: Cool. Go to lunch with him. But if you do, we’re finished.
And leave it at that. Another half truth out there designed to scare men into putting their foot down is that women don’t respond well to ultimatums. That is, if you give her an ultimatum it’ll blow up in your face as in she’ll leave. My response to that is let that ho leave. Life and relationships are ultimatums. You have choices and so does she. And if you let her know the result of her impending choices, she’ll be fully aware of the consequences of her actions and she can’t fall back on “I didn’t know!”
You give a woman a choice…she can either stop the behavior or not. If she doesn’t, you’re out. Simple as that. If she does the right thing and stops going to lunch with DeAndre you’ve established that you can and will check her if the situation warrants it. But more importantly you’ve shown her that you don’t trust her and she’s still around knowing you don’t. You’ve let her know that you don’t trust her, or her judgment but she decided to stop the behavior because she doesn’t want to lose you.
If you trusted her, you’d let her continue these lunch dates with DeAndre. But you don’t. No man does. But you’re the one who voiced your distrust, instructed her to stop, and she heeded your command. That’s the mark of a solid relationship in that regard and you are nowhere close to trusting your woman.
Keisha’s technique is something women have been doing for eons and have fooled men for just as long and that is…
Women cheat in the margins
Women cheat during times you wouldn’t expect them to cheat. Sure, if she says she’s “working late” or goes out with her girls on a Friday night and doesn’t return until the next morning, you know she’s up under some nigga gettin’ her pussy pounded in. But in 2017 women are professional cheaters and these days they do it in the margins.
The above scenario with Keisha and DeAndre going to lunch every afternoon is a pretty good example but a lot of men would suspect they’re either about to start fucking if they haven’t already. Where females really get diabolical is when they do things like “run to the store” for an hour, stop by Dante’s house, get banged out, then go back home. They also do things like take taking pictures in places they tell their men they’ll be at a specific day and time before they actually get there, then post them on social media for him to see while at her side dude’s house getting ass fucked and he’s none the wiser. I talked about this technique specifically in this podcast episode:
Other strategies they use is using texting apps to keep in touch with their paramours. Rather than texting from their phones where their men can trace it back to them by simply picking up her phone or logging into her account, she uses these apps that aren’t tracked by her provider. All she has to do if he gets suspicious is delete the app.
There are scores of other ways women use technology to create the margins in which to run around on their men but you get the idea. A quick Google search will yield dozens of ways women cheat and how they’re getting away with it.
The only way to discourage this behavior is to put a key logger on her phone. This way, whatever she types on her phone, you’ll see. And make sure she knows you’ve put it on her phone. What’s that you say? She won’t let you? Then drop her. A woman who won’t allow you access to her phone is a woman who doesn’t really want to be with you and wants to cheat but not get caught. See how that works?
If she does let you do it (which she should if she listens to this) you’ve shown her that you don’t trust her but she’s staying with you. Again, this proves that you don’t have to trust your woman within the context of a sexual relationship.
Women use trust to set up future cheating
When you first hook up with a girl, you inherently trust everything she tells you. I’m not sure as to the reason for this but something about the newness of a relationship, the great sex, and the company of a brand new female lowers our guards substantially and women know this. Subsequently they take full advantage of this to set up future cheating and the margins in which she’ll do it in.
A personal story
I hooked up with a chick a while back and it took a little while for me to fuck her. We’d been out a couple times to that point. We’d been to the movies one night, then had lunch at a casino a couple days later. A few nights later she came over and I fucked her 7 times in one night. Yes gentlemen the sex was that good.
Anyway, early on in our tryst she told me she slept a lot and took a lot of naps. I didn’t think anything of it because I liked her, the sex was great, and the relationship was new. My red pill conditioning hadn’t kicked in because of these conditions.
One afternoon I left her place after fucking her a few times. On my way home she kept texting me to see if I was home yet. Nothing out of the ordinary because she did this a lot. Normally I’d text her when I got home, she’d text back “Okay baby I’m gonna take a nap!” and I wouldn’t hear from her for a few hours.
Well this time when I got home I called her and it went straight to voicemail. My alarm bells went off so I drove over to her place and saw a red truck in her driveway. She was fucking someone else. When she called me later she told me she had taken a nap. When I asked her if the dude in the red truck was helping her “sleep” she knew the jig was up. Needless to say I ended things with her that instant.
This chick used her “afternoon naps” to explain away her disappearing act so she could fuck Mr. red truck. I never suspected anything because she told me she slept a lot at the beginning of our relationship. Women do this all the time. They use the beginning of a relationship which they know is new and exciting for both of you to tell you the lies she’ll use to explain her absences. And because the time at which she told you was the time you trusted her the most, you never see it coming.
I explain more of these techniques in this episode:
Trust shaming techniques and how to deal with them
So women are well aware that a man who truly trusts them is a man they’ll eventually cheat on. But if you’re the kind of man who calls her out or checks her on bad behaviors that could lead to infidelity they’ll attempt to shame you in an effort to make you feel guilty, keep your guard down, and stay under the ho radar. Let’s go over what she’ll say to you and how to properly respond.
Her: If we don’t have trust we don’t have anything!
You: Then I guess we don’t have anything.
Her: You don’t trust me???
You: I don’t trust anybody.
You’re telling her indirectly that you don’t trust her when you say “I don’t trust anybody.” She won’t take it as personally but she’ll still know you don’t trust her. At this point she can stay or go. But if she stays, she knows you don’t trust her which is exactly what you want.
After you’ve told her to stop going to lunch with DeAndre or whatever she’s doing that’s conducive to cheating:
Her: OMG you’re soooo insecure!
You: :::look her right in the eye::: I’m not insecure….I’m territorial.
An accusation of jealousy or insecurity is her way of trying to loosen you up so she can do what she wants to do. But there’s a difference between being jealous and being territorial and women know this difference. They love territorial men…they hate jealous and insecure men. So by telling her you’re territorial, which I can guarantee is something no man has ever told her, starts to remove the jealousy and insecure label she tries to assign to you in her own mind.
Her: You’re controlling!
You: I control everything in my life…including my women. If you don’t like it, you can leave.
This statement will soak her panties. Women adore men who control them so long as he’s the right man. But if you didn’t establish dominance and high value from the start she’s not going to respond like she should. Even if she does see you as the dominant force in the relationship, she’ll still shit test you with the “you’re controlling” accusation. Like in the above response, acknowledge that she’s correct and that if she doesn’t like it she can leave.
Her: You’re possessive!
You: :::confused look on your face::: You’re just now figuring that out?
Again, you’re taking her accusation and turning it into a silly statement by acknowledging that you are, indeed, possessive. If you’re a man of value, your woman doesn’t want you not to care what she gets up to. She wants you to be possessive because if you aren’t, you don’t care about her which means you’re likely on your way out the door. She administered, yet, another shit test to make sure you’re still invested in the relationship. Saying “no I’m not!” opens up a can of worms and will ultimately lead to the end of your relationship.
In the end…
…trust is far from necessary to have a good relationship with a woman. The more you trust her, verbalize, and show her as much, the less respect she’ll have for you and before you know it she’ll be using that “trust” to swallow the salty loads of her personal trainer.
Too many men try not to “be that guy” who doesn’t trust his woman. A few of my friends and I will be talking about this or that and inevitably our women come up in those conversations. When we talk about trust, I’m always the first to say something to the effect of “I don’t trust my woman as far as I could throw her” and it rarely ceases to amaze them. They wonder how it is she’s still with me knowing full well I don’t trust her.
That’s simple. My woman knows she can’t be trusted and all women know the same. Showing and telling a woman you don’t trust her shows her that you have a good working knowledge of the way women work which earns her respect. No, they’re not going to like it all the time but in the end, she’ll know it’s for her own good.