I am not sexist. Nor am I am a misogynist. I don’t have any irrational hate, dislike, disdain, malice, or animus toward the so-called fairer sex. Nor do I consider myself superior to them simply because I was born a male. I believe that if a woman is doing the same job as a man, and has the same credentials, she deserves equal pay. I believe, as Thomas Jefferson famously wrote in The Declaration of Independence, “All men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that chief among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” I believe that this implies to not just men, but women as well. That is true equality. However, true equality comes at a cost.
The cost of true equality is equal responsibility and equal consequences. Then, and only then, can one truly consider themselves equal to another. As long as one enjoys, or better yet, expects a special status that affords them the luxury of less responsibility , or they are insulated from the consequences their actions or choices, they aren’t equals. Children aren’t seen as equals to adults. Why is this case? The answer is simple, because they aren’t given the same level of responsibility as adults. They are also insulated from the consequences of their actions or choices. Their parents or guardians bear the burden of their mistakes until they become of age.
If the cost of equality is in fact equal responsibility and equal consequences, then men and women aren’t equal. Despite their cries to the contrary, women have and do enjoy a special status. Being a woman affords them luxuries both legally and culturally and that men do not have. Some legal examples include: Men on average receive 63% longer sentences for committing the same crime. In addition women are 50% more likely to not receive any time or be convicted of the same crime. (Estimating Gender Disparities in Federal Criminal Cases, Professor Sonja B Starr, University of Michigan) 40% of domestic violence is committed against men, yet 99.3% of shelters for domestic violence are for only for women. (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence) 3% of 400,000 alimony recipients are male.(www.census.gov) Women are awarded custody of children 85% of the time in custody cases (www.census.gov)
Some cultural examples include: Men are expected to pay for dates. Men are expected to propose marriage. Men are expected to be the breadwinner. Men are expected to give up their seats, open doors, pull out chairs, among other things. I could go on.
My question is where are the women who claim they want equality on these matters and those like them? After all, equality means equal responsibility and consequences, right? The truth is the majority of women don’t want equality because that would subject them to the same standards, expectations, and consequences as men. What they want is to enjoy a special status while simultaneously insulating themselves from any and all criticisms. It’s like when the boy cried wolf. He did it so much that he lost all credibility. Sexism, much like racism, and exists, and despite our best efforts can never be fully eradicated. However, crying sexism and playing that card all the time, diminishes it value and desensitizes us to it when it really applies. Unfortunately, most women aren’t interest interested in equality. They want a she(quality).