How to Become A Female Nigerian Feminist

If you think it is hard to become a female Nigerian feminist, if you think that you need a strong conviction to become a female Nigerian feminist, if you think you need a genuine desire for change to become a female Nigerian feminist, you are wrong.
The female Nigerian feminists have clearly shown that you don’t need much to become one of them.
All you need is an ability to engage in petite and frivolous discussions.
All you need is to be childish.
Once you can imagine in your little head how women will take over men’s role and men given women’s role, then you are qualified to become a female Nigerian feminist.
If you can cook up stories in relation to women taking up men’s roles and men taking up women’s roles at home and in the society and how fashionable it is, then you are not far from being a female Nigerian feminist.
If you are suffering from inferiority complex and not happy for having a vagina and all you dream of is having a penis so you can have sex with many women, then congratulations, you are worthy of becoming a female Nigerian feminist.
If you are not happy with your feminine nature but instead want to be like a man, act like a man but because you are not a man and you can never become a man, so you become bittered towards men, then my sister you are lucky, welcome to the Nigerian female feminists hall of fame.
If you have a rich imagination in silly and stupid thoughts about reversing conventional norms. Take for example, imagining a role reversal on your wedding day, where your husband will be led by his mum to the alter. Imagining where the pastor will say ‘you may kiss the groom’. If you can imagine your husband wearing wedding gown while you wear suit, believe me, you have made it in life, you are now a female Nigerian feminist.
If you believe and can make noise about a woman bearing her husband’s name after marriage as subjugation of women, and you have vowed to maintain your maiden name. However, your reasoning is not sound enough to understand that your maiden name still has your father’s name in it. Congratulations you are a veteran and now in the revered rank of the female Nigerian feminists.
If you are a Yoruba lady, and you think it is wrong for you to kneel down for your husband on engagement day as culture demands because you believe it to mean that you are being subjugated and demeaned. However, because you are suffering from glaucoma of the mind, you do not see anything wrong in your husband and his friends prostrating before your parents as culture demands, my sister, praise the lord, you are the messiah the female Nigerian feminists are waiting for.
If you do not consider yourself attractive but you can knit some few words together and can cause some dramas to attract your likes to sing your praises. Then every now and then you are able to tell your praise singers that you have gotten laid, oh sorry, you have gotten some men laid and as a matter of fact you have several rich men who wanted to become your husband but they do not meet your taste or standard. Congratulation, you have been specially elected, Miss Female Nigerian feminists. Welcome onboard.
If you were not properly brought up and lack manners and you have been finding it difficult to be accepted by people because of your unbridled tongue and lack of decorum in addressing people, do not be despair, you shall be exonerated and protected in the Sisterhood of the female Nigerian feminists.
If you have never donated a kobo to any women’s cause, you have never gone for a rally in support of girls or women rights, but you are always talking about who should do the dishes at home, why should a woman lie down while the man is on top during sex, why should a woman consider herself a wife before any other thing, and many other irrelevant topics, You are the one that the female Nigerian feminists have been looking for. Welcome.
You see, to be a female Nigerian feminist does not require much, all you need is to be able to do any of the aforementioned and many others I would be unable to list here to save time and space.
Good luck as you become a female Nigerian feminist.
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