How To Increase Your Chances Of Getting Laid On Facebook By Being Thirsty

Note: You niggas don’t know how to get no bishes on Facebook. Your thirst game is all wrong and you need to tighten that mothafucking shit up. Don’t worry…Oshay the Great is here to save the day.     


As editor and chief of, I have combined many talented writers who speak on multiple positions within the complexity of numerous topics. For example: Alexa V writes on survivalism, Alan Roger Currie writes on dating, and Tony Maceo writes on Politics and Black Community commentary.


You niggas rarely read any of that shit as whole.


When we do write articles about how to get some pussy, or fucking some chick in the ear lobe, nostrils, or in the ass, the nigga view counts on those articles be like:

Due to the fact I know you negroes love talking about getting pussy, I have dedicated this entire piece to helping you improve your sexual conquests by giving you these succinct tips.


Facebook is the best place to score tons of hot African American Pussy for free. Now I know one of you out there poses this question:

Oshay…what if I am a ugly nigga with no car, out of shape, no money, bad breath, and 3 kids by 4 different bitches?

That is an awesome question my friend. In fact, I am glad you asked such a question. Facebook gives everyone including the ugly nigga the opportunity to score chicks in comparison to some other social network OR dating apps.

Let’s examine Tinder shall we?

Tinder is solely based off what you look like. A chick checks to see if you are hot or not. If you are a subpar looking nigga, you will get declined quicker than a stolen JC Penneys store credit card. Also, if you are over 30 years old, you need to pay $19.99 a month to use the advanced  features. Tinder also has it’s disadvantages that we can discuss below:

  • The bitches on Tinder have so many matches from so many guys, it would be impossible for her to keep up with your match. While you can score dates from the app,  it is foreseeable  that you will  never have conversations with women who liked your picture due to the shear volume of other guys matching with her.
  • Just like all other Dating platforms, Tinder seems to be full of single mothers who feel entitled to certain men on the Tinder Application. Women will have certain preferences like: “Don’t match with me if you ain’t looking for a relationship.” Or “proud homemaker of 3 beautiful kids.”
  • Women are less likely to check Tinder than Facebook. Remember, what does your black ass need IN ORDER to create a Tinder account? FACEBOOK NIGGA FACEBOOK! 
  • A lot of prostitutes and fake pages tend to be on Tinder. It could be some Nigerian nigga behind a page matching with you while you are jacking off to Fake pictures.

Well Oshay….what does Facebook have that Tinder doesn’t?

I am so glad you asked that question dumb ass negro! Facebook and even Instagram give you, the ugly ass nigga, the ability to have something that bitches love in men on the internet: Personality and Social Validation!

Women search  for more attributes in a man other than physical appearance.  Facebook opens up the playing field for men to display their entire arsenal with respect to appealing to women. On Facebook, it is possible for you to get the same woman who might have rejected you on Tinder.




If you are an ugly nigga like me, (and 18 times out of 10 you are) Facebook gives you the opportunity to catch women OFF GUARD to get into their space.

What do you mean OFF GUARD?

Goddamn nigga you asking great questions today. When a woman is on Tinder, she is READY to deal with niggas asking for sex, niggas trying to meet up, and all of this other shit. She has her shields up like a mothafucka. However, when a woman typically logs on to Facebook, she is primarily there to chat with friends, family, and the like.  Of course these bitches love attention on Facebook from thirsty ass niggas. However, you can ALWAYS catch a female on Facebook. Women go to Facebook to watch videos, funny stories, Groups, and many other things. Facebook is a multifaceted site that you can always catch a woman slipping.

So what if I see a fine ass female on Facebook and I send her a friend request and she accepts? Should I send her a message?

NO! This is where you niggas fuck up at. You send a friend request, and  34 milliseconds later you say something stupid like this:

“Thanks for the add beautiful”

And once you do that, I do this:



I know you got more sense than that! Every OTHER nigga sends her that SAME message once an attractive woman adds him. Other stupid inbox messages you niggas send trying to gain conversation are the following:

  • Good morning beautiful I hope you have a good day
  • Damn ma…you got a phat ass
  • Damn boo look at them titties
  • Nice picture
  • How are you today?
  • Damn baby can I fly you out?

OR the other things you niggas do is…..

She adds you, and you send a dick pick 10 milliseconds later. You then refresh your Facebook Page and it says:

OR…another thing you niggas do is……….

You see she is available on Facebook Messenger Online. You have never interacted with her. So what do you do? YOU CALL unannounced like the true stalker that you are.  Of course, you are a creep, and she denies your call. You then refresh your Facebook Page and it says:

OR…another things you niggas do is….

You send her one message. She doesn’t respond. You keep on sending messages and having a one sided conversation with yourself trying to get her attention similar to what I will show below:


One month later, she sees your response and feels you are a creep. Of course, you get no reply. You refresh your page and moments later you find this message:


I have done all of these thirsty things Oshay…What strategy should I be using online?

I am glad you asked this question negro. Let’s go over a few steps below.


Comment on her Facebook Picture and say something that makes absolutely no fucking sense!

What does this mean? Let the other niggas say basic ass shit like: “Damn boo nice pic.” However, you need to say something like this:



Girl I will go to Mount Calvary Baptist Church and steal communion crackers and some Baptist Hymnals to prove my love to you boo….


Girl…you know you got a nice big………..PICTURE in back of you…….


When you gonna let me take you to Burger King and have a lovely date on the Kids Menu?

All of these statements put a woman instantly in shock. It will do one of two things:

  • It’s going to make her think you are fucking crazy…at which point she is right
  • Or…she will laugh her fucking head off and start checking your pictures out and statuses

Why is this important?

Because the woman will start noticing you immediatetly! She will go through your pictures, like your statuses, and be interested in what you are doing.

Now is this method 100 percent proof?

No it is not 100 percent proof. However,  this method will attract more  women to your Facebook profile and increase the likelihood that you can close chicks for future sexual encounters. I have fucked some of the most attractive women by saying some of the most ridiculous shit. This method  also makes her aware that you have a social following and people think you have a social media influence even when you don’t.


Now when can I start talking about her titties and ass and all that shit?

Well, once you start saying stupid shit that don’t make sense, they are going to be open for the direct thirst. However, timing is everything. I can write a part two about that…OR…I might charge you niggas for the rest of this game.


So Oshay…tell me more?

Nigga fuck you. I am tired of writing. I will be back next week.


In closing..

I really appreciate you brothers. I love writing in my own style, but I hope you get joy out of it. I hope this piece makes a Black Man’s day better. Keep on pushing brothers. Also, use these tips and let me know how it works out below on this article.


And as you know, the Buffoonery is at an all time high!

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