Perhaps a whole Book can be written on this.
There’s a false cultural belief that men only want to live in a way that is uncommitted and disloyal to a woman or a few women and only want women purely for sexual gratification. Although that may becoming the norm culturally, there are still some men who desire to love with sincerity and integrity to the woman or women of their choosing. The challenge comes when that love gets taken for granted and even worse, as leverage from a woman that knows that such a man loves her.
The Importance of Loving Smart.
In this more apparent age of hookup culture, side chicks, side dudes and overt and covert cuckoldry, a man of standard has to be more aware than ever of who he is, his personal worth and value to himself, and the women he allows intimately in his life. Here is how to love smart.
LOVE IS A RESPONSIBILITY FOR MEN MORE THAN FOR A WOMAN
When a man loves a woman long term, he gives. He gives time, money, understanding, compassion, and dick…just to name a few. This does not always translate as happiness or fulfillment to the woman he is with however. There will be the possibility that the mysterious “something” or “spark” is missing and she will seek ways to find it, with or without that man. See, a man simply can represent a set of traits or qualities to a specific woman. That means when you enter into a commitment with them you take on responsibilities and obligations socially and personally for the woman. Too often though men take on all the responsibility of upholding the commitment and making the environment only suitable to the woman, by the woman’s hints and suggestions over time. Know there’s a price to pay in commitment and be aware of when that price is creeping up. Be strong enough to address the changes and stand for your needs from the woman. If she’s in it for the both of you, she will listen, and reciprocate, and adjust accordingly. For the Responsibilities you take on, make sure she respects you for that.
LOVE HAS TO BE ADDRESSED WITH THE MIND AS WELL AS THE HEART FOR MEN
The feeling of love for someone is powerful and blinding. It believes the best and can give way too much benefit of the doubt in questionable situations. You as a man have to literally remember to keep your head in the situation. Be aware when her speech and actions don’t add up and her “consistent inconsistencies” should it come down to such. Live aware, but not paranoid. As a man you should be doing this generally for your life anyway.
LOVE FOR A CERTAIN WOMAN OR WOMEN WILL EITHER EASE OR BURDEN YOUR LIFE PATH AS A MAN
A part of thinking with loving is to take into consideration the direction your life is going with the woman or women in your life. Women take a shit ton of energy in your life and you want that working for you and not against you. So take time out every 6 months to a year and really see what’s going on with you and how the woman or women helping or hindering that. Part of her love, loyalty and respect is helping you achieve your vision that will benefit everyone. If she’s giving you more harm than help, you may need to make the difficult and costly decision to sever ties with her more sooner than later, or else it will cost you your vision and direction even more. That is the risk that comes with love, a woman can make it awesome or downright awful regardless of your steadiness in the experience.
STAND IN LOVE
Sade said it best. We’re soldiers of love. It’s Beautiful and Brutal all at the same time. And while most of us seek to cope with each other with all the cheating and now the withdraw movements where people understandably are saying “Fuck It” to long term relationships, there are those of us who want to experience love in a good and powerful way, and are willing to risk experiencing the bad for it. Just remember to STAND and be aware of who you are expressing that love with. “Falling” in love is for fairy tales.