I Remember Her as Darkness!!

It was the beginning of the school year 1991. I was a young black boy from the projects of Chicago, Dearborn Homes, and I had just started 4th grade.  I vaguely remember chatter about how teachers should not dress provocatively in school and low and behold, I had a young sexy light skinned woman as a teacher. All my classmates bragged about how they got Ms. so-and-so as a teacher. I don’t remember me bragging like they did but what I do remember is I was shy.

What I also remember was this girl in my class from the rival projects, The Ickes. Now, as an adult, I couldn’t even tell you how my class room was shaped, where the door was, where I entered the school or any other specific details. I do remember, after school was out all the kids from the Dearborn’s went their way and all the kids from the Ickes went theirs. It was no going over your friend house in the other projects. I never stepped foot in the Ickes. What I do remember strongly is the girl in my classroom from the rival projects.

I remember her as Darkness. I don’t remember her as Darkness to make fun of her but because as a little black boy I was captivated by her skin complexion, by how dark she was. Like I said earlier, I can’t remember details about my 4th grade class room but her dark, flawless, velvet looking skin is imprinted into my memory. Looking back, I think I had a crush on this girl.

I’ve always liked dark girls. So why did I, and at one time was, marry a Quadroon? The reasons why I did it are not to be discussed here but I’m not married to her anymore.

On my adventures on the journey of maturation, I was trained by, media, television, music, environment, and age mates to lust after, adore, and seek the companionship of the light skinned woman. I’d hear stories in my teenage and young adult years of other black boys secretly loving this fair skinned or even white girl and having their first kiss with her. It was taboo, kinky, and naughty but to them it felt so right. Is this the ideal woman a Black Man is supposed to be with? I didn’t know because I didn’t have a father or steady Male influence in my life to sit me down and tell me to follow what I want.

What about all the black boys who kissed the black girls and who had a crush on them? Even Mike got is a$$ beat by Stacey for grabbing Alisha’s butt. When asked was it worth it? Yeaaaaaaa!

Black women, I know a lot of us Back Men bash you, call you name, etc., etc., etc.  To be honest, we still love you, we just don’t love the b.s. you’re doing these days.

I’m not going to hide the fact that I love dark women. Alek Wek looks good, Kelly Rowland is fine, Lupita Nyong’o is bad as f*#k. This Black Man loves Black Women. There I said it.

She has imprinted on my mind AND had made me realize early on that I loved black women. I don’t remember the name of the dark-skinned girl in my 4th grade class in the projects nor do I want to find out now. I just remember her as Darkness.

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About Style is Life 3 Articles
Lynell is the creator of Style is Life, which is a platform that encourages Black Men to be who they are and not submit to the stereotypical image of a Black Man. Lynell himself is a U.S. Navy Submarine Veteran, is currently in school for Accounting, and runs the Style is Life YouTube Channel. Contact him at lifeoflynell@gmail.com