If Dating is a ‘Game,’ then Someone HAS to Lose

Many people refer to the courting process between men and women as 'The Dating Game,' but if dating is truly a 'game,' then who wins and who loses?

If you read my article from last week, you will see that I divided all methods of getting a woman to engage in sexual activities with a man into five general categories:

·  Attraction
·  Seduction
·  Dishonesty and/or Manipulation
·  Negotiation (or what is known as Transactional Sex)
·  Coercion

In this article, I am going to be emphasizing the concept of dishonest, misleading, and manipulative behavior between men and women.

MANIPULATIVE HEAD GAMES

What does it mean to ‘game’ someone?  The dictionary generally defines and describes ‘gaming someone’ as “an attempt to manipulate someone else’s behavior in a manner that is to your own advantage that usually includes trickery or deceptive tactics.”

Generally speaking, why would any man want to ‘run game’ on a woman?  Similarly, why would any woman want to ‘run game’ on a man?  The simple answer would be to get something from someone without directly asking for it.  When someone wants something of great tangible or intangible value from someone else really, really badly … but they are reluctant to ask for it straightforwardly, their next option is to usually resort to dishonesty and manipulative tactics.

MANIPULATIVE MEN

Let’s start with men.

There are many men in society who only want to engage in a few episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with several women, but they do not have the confidence or courage to straightforwardly communicate their desires, interests, and intentions to women of interest.  If nothing else, these men are profoundly afraid of being rejected, and being denied the opportunity to exchange orgasms with a desirable woman.

So, what is the next best option?  The most desirable alternative is for a man to give a woman the misleading impression that he desires more from the woman than ‘just sex,’ and to convince a woman that he is open to the idea of entering into a long-term, emotionally profound, strictly monogamous romantic relationship with the woman.

Now if the woman involved is disciplined enough to wait until marriage before engaging in sex with a male companion, then this manipulative tactic would not work.  This attempt to mislead and manipulate the woman would be totally ineffective.

On the other hand, if the woman is the type that totally feels comfortable engaging in sex with a man who she believes has strong emotions for her and values her non-sexual companionship just as much if not more than her sexual companionship, then she will potentially become easy prey for a man who is a savvy liar and manipulator.

In the long-run, this is what will happen:  The manipulative man will continue to give the woman the misleading impression that he is ‘really into her’ and genuinely values both her sexual and her non-sexual companionship … but a few weeks into the new relationship, he will find a seemingly valid excuse to abruptly bring the relationship to an unexpected premature end.

MANIPULATIVE WOMEN

As a group, I would make the strong argument that women are far better manipulators than men are.  Why?  Women have a wider range of objectives that they seek to manipulate men for.

Generally speaking, men only really become dishonest and manipulative toward women when they want sex (and more specifically, short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex).

Conversely, women will manipulate men for financial favors, non-financial favors, flattering attention, entertaining conversation, employment offers and career success, social connections, children and child support, and even marriage.

Most women who are experienced with men and who are reasonably attractive with an above-average degree of sex appeal know that most men want to engage in sexual activities with them (either intercourse, anal sex, oral sex, or all the above).

In the same way many men place far more value on a woman’s sexual attention & companionship than they do a woman’s non-sexual attention & companionship … many women are just the opposite with men.  There are literally millions of women in society who have no desire to lay in bed naked with a man, but that does not mean that these same women are not willing to give many of these men who they find to be sexually undesirable the misleading impression that they “might” be interested in sex.

This is the reason why I wrote and published my book titled, The Possibility of Sex: How Naïve and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly.  In that book, I refer to women who are dishonest and highly manipulative as Manipulative Timewasters.  The single most significant and effective way for a woman to mislead, manipulate and string a man along is to make him believe that if he gives a woman everything she wants from him non-sexually and financially, that she will “reward him” with an opportunity to exchange orgasms with her.

WHO WINS … and WHO LOSES IN TODAY’S ‘DATING GAME’?

In simple terms, men typically will mislead women into believing that they desire both a woman’s sexual and non-sexual companionship … or sometimes, just her non-sexual companionship (what I refer to as ‘FunClubbing’) … when they really just want access to a woman’s sexual companionship.

On the flip side, women typically will mislead men into believing that they desire both a man’s sexual and non-sexual companionship … or sometimes, just his sexual companionship (what most men commonly refer to as Cock Teasing) … when they really just want access to the man’s non-sexual companionship and/or access to his financial resources, social connections, and material possessions.

Manipulation is never a “win-win” proposition.  Someone always “loses,” and ends up feeling betrayed, exploited, misled, bitter, and resentful.  Sometimes it is the manipulative man who “wins” … and many other times, it is the manipulative woman who “wins.”  Welcome to the wonderful (or not so wonderful) world of manipulative head games.

The one fact that all men and women must realize is this:  The more you attempt to mislead and manipulate a member of the opposite sex … the more you open yourself up to be misled and manipulated.

My golden rule:  Never ever confuse and conflate the appeal of your sexual companionship with the appeal of your non-sexual companionship.  Do not ever make this mistake.  If you do, you will always remain easy prey for a savvy, seasoned manipulator.

Keep this in mind.

Good luck.

More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions.  Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships.  If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks.  Currie has been a featured speaker at many dating advice workshops for men in the United States as well as internationally.  If you want to become a Patreon.com subscriber of Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie, CLICK HERE

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About Alan Roger Currie 81 Articles
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks, and is best known for the ground-breaking best-seller "Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking"; Currie is also a professional Men's Dating Coach who has worked with clients all over the world, and has conducted speaking engagements and workshops in many cities both in the U.S. and internationally. Contact him at coaching@modeone.net