Three Lessons Learned From The Kevin Samuels “You’re Average At Best” Controversy

Kevin Samuels has gone viral for a very simple reason - because he told the truth

"You're Average at Best": 2020's Phrase of the Year!
                                                                      “You’re Average at Best”: 2020’s Phrase of the Year!

“The Black woman is down, and everybody knows it.”
-David Carroll, Dec 14, 2020

It’s been weeks since “Saint Kevin” Samuels’ “You’re Average at Best” YouTube video went viral, courtesy of Worldstar Hip Hop and, last time I checked, the video in question garnering well over two million views(!); and since then, a floodgate of “hot takes”, opinion and commentary have broken out all over the internet and social media. But amid all the scrum, the bottomline reason why an under ten-minute video clip continues to trend on every social media platform known to man, is as plain as the nose on our faces:

Because Samuels told the truth. As fellow Black male and longtime YouTuber David Carroll recently said, “The Black woman is down, and everyone knows it”.

For those who’ve been stuck in a pocket dimension over the past month or so, Samuels, who’d been on an unprecedented roll with his wildly popular late night YouTube show, told a middle aged southern Black woman (who’s also a baby mama with a baby daddy that’s such a loser that she didn’t even want to discuss him when queried by Samuels) that she was “average at best” after she bullied her way onto his show and demanded that he address her concerns to nab a “six figure man”. After repeated attempts on Samuels’ part to reason with the Black woman in question, he was finally pushed to the breaking point and let out a mini-rant of colorful language – punctuating the segment and making him a household name.

What are the lessons we can learn from this rare moment of clarity in a world where virtual reality is more preferable to millions than the real world? There are many, but for the sake of today’s column I can think of a few.

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BLACK WOMEN ARE UTTERLY DELUSIONAL
Contrary to the popular opinion attempts in our increasingly social media saturated age that Black men are delusional or “as delusional” as Black women, what Samuels’ viral video shows us all is just how Black women are not only delusional, there is simply no Black male analog that any reasonable, thoughtful and rational person could possibly hope to think of to compare it to. And I say “Black women” instead of focusing solely on Ms. “Average at Best” for a very powerful reason: Because of the sheer avalanche of response from Black women – from Zane(!) and Jemele Hill, to Christelyn Karazin and Tonya TKO and everyone in between. What the vast majority of these Black female voices have in common with the lady in question is very easy to see – they’re all middle aged, often baby mamas themselves, and at the height of their freshness as a woman, were average at best in the looks department – a key consideration for the next section of today’s column below.

In other words, Black women across social media saw themselves in whole or in part in Ms. “Average at Best” and reacted with a ferocity not seen since the days of William Shakespeare – after all, Hell hath no fury, like a delusional Black woman scorned by a high value Black man, right?

The truth that we’ve all long known but Samuels broke wide open, is that the rank and file Black woman is so out of touch with reality – from the billions of dollars she spends a year on hair weaves to the billions of dollars a year she spends being told “pretty lies” by dreamboat “self-love ambassadors” – that it just beggars belief. But it does make sense, given the fact that there’s a lot of money to be made in keeping so many Black women in La-La Land.

All of which brings me to the next point…

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BLACK WOMEN VASTLY OVERESTIMATE THEIR SEXUAL MARKET VALUE
Ahh, now we get to the good part. Let’s face it – with today’s average Black woman standing at 5’4″, the better part of 200lbs and an average dress size of 18(!) – and being, as we saw in the video that made Samuels internet famous “average at best” in the face, in a sane world most Black women would know and understand that them having a realistic chance at a Black man like Samuels – tall, handsome, suave and accomplished – would be possible only in their dreams. Such Black women would know to “stay in their lane”(Ha!) and date guys whose pockets matched their looks – something Samuels tried to reason with the lady in question – but to no avail.

But, as noted above, there is a multi-billion dollar business (to say nothing of a “Big Mama” culture in Black America) that in essence, preys on the insecurities and delusions of Black women, and tells them that all of them are “beautiful” and “worthy” of a guy like Samuels.

And for many, many years, guys like Samuels went along with the sham. As I’ve said for years on my own live show, “Masters of the Universe” brothers in the strata of a Samuels often either work directly with the rank and file looking Black woman, or indirectly have to contend with them – remember, Oprah Winfrey and Stacey Abrams are in this cohort as well (the latter having a well-burnished reputation of moonlighting as a steamy bodice-ripping novelist in her own right) – and part of the skillset of such a brother is to “play the game” – to, if not outright participate in the parroting of “all women are beautiful” pretty lies that has increasingly become the coin of the realm in our “woke” age, to at the very least simply “grin and nod” at such contrivances.

But away from the work-a-day world, these brothers are sure to use their wealth and influence to see to it that they are only surrounded by the choicest honies – the midtown Manhattan, NYC/Miami/Los Angeles/Dallas/Buckhead, ATL 8s, 9s and 10s – and they use that same largesse and status to keep the “Plain Janes at Best” out.

Once an “old boys club” secret, today’s more middling Black woman is now painfully aware of this cold fact, by way of the Jumbotron that is social media – especially Instagram, Facebook and “Black Twitter” – backed up by the “tea economy” of gossip websites like MadameNoire, The Shade Room and Lipstick Alley – and are scenes of regular primal screams on the part of the rank and file Sistahood, where whines and moans about “colorism” and “body positivity” can be heard. Here is where the batallion of “femininity influencers”, “pink pill swirlers” and the “get the bag” crowd comes swooping into action, acting as a soothing balm for butthurt egos and making a nice bit of coin in the process. It was all business as usual – until Samuels came along and pierced the veil, drew back the curtain and broke the spell. So long as guys like him weren’t telling Black women like Ms. “You’re Average at Best” the harsh truth that a guy like him wouldn’t hit up a chick like her, “not today, not no day”, everyone could pretend that Black women like her had a real chance.

Alas – and thanks to Saint Kevin – now they know, that they don’t. And. They. Are. MAD!

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Like what you’re reading now? Wait till you see my very first book, “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”! Here’s YOUR chance to help me bring the dream to life, by supporting “The Book of Obsidian Fundraising Campaign”! All the details are over at GoGetFunding.com. Now, back to the article!

A LOT OF BLACK WOMEN ARE GOING TO DIE ALONE
How fitting it is to see that what I wrote about at the beginning of the year – that the spinster/baby mama bubble is about to burst wide open – is now taking place right before our very eyes for all to see on the Almighty Jumbotron. At the end of over 20 minutes of conversation in vain with Ms. “You’re Average at Best”, Samuels finally said in exasperation in response to her saying that she simply couldn’t “respect an average Black man” that she would die alone.

And at 35, a baby mama, middling at best in looks and utterly delusional, the chances are very high indeed, that is exactly what WILL happen. As I noted in my previous column, appropriately titled, “The Spinster Bubble Is About To Bust Wide Open” (Feb 3, 2020 Negromanosphere.com), here are the stakes:

“Karen Jennings had hit rock bottom. Four years after the market crash of 2008, her life savings and investments were gone. She’d been forced to sell the house she’d co-owned and lived in with her aunt and mother, who by then had died.

Jennings has always taken pride in holding steady jobs — jobs she has loved — like teaching and working at a parish. But in 2013, the Virginia native declared bankruptcy. As an only child who never married or had children, Jennings — now age 65 — had few relatives to lean on for support. “Friends could only help me … so far,” she says. “What family I had — they tried to help me every way they could, but they couldn’t.”

Jennings is part of a growing number of Black women who are aging alone. By 2060, 1 in 4 Americans will be 65 years or older, according to the Census Bureau. Gaps in the U.S. health care system mean that family members often need to provide medical, emotional and financial support to keep their elders alive. But research published in 2017 by American and Canadian sociologists shows that elder Black U.S. women face a “kin gap” — meaning they are without a partner, children, siblings or parents who still alive — at rates higher than other demographics.”

Continuing:

“That gap’s also widening faster than for other communities — 2.2 percent of Black women and 1.7 percent of Black men were “kinless” (also called “elder orphans”) in 2015, compared to just over 1 percent of White women and less than 1 percent of White men. These figures are projected to hit over 7 percent for Black women and nearly 6 percent for Black men by 2060. That means 1.6 million Black women — the size of Philadelphia‘s population — will be living without kin by then.”

And here’s the coup de grace:

“For those of you out there reading this and thinking, “Well, Obsidian’s just talking about old biddies”, read the above Oxy website passage again; it says, “by the year 2060”. Meaning, that Black women today, at the age of about 25, WILL BE SIXTY-FIVE BY THEN. And, the projections are clear: They will be ALONE.”

Q.E.D.

Any questions?

Now adjourn your asses…

MOA

Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host, newly minted dating coach and soon to be author. You can catch his daily live shows on the global livestreaming radio website Mixlr, as well as the all-new members-only Obsidian Radio Zoomcast, and his podcasts on YouTube and Black Avenger TV, as well as his weekly dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. He’s also a semi-professional pest.

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