Casual Sex Conquests Gone Bad: When Lovers Become Stalkers

Alex Forrest (Actress Glenn Close) seemed very 'normal' when Dan Gallagher (Actor Michael Douglas) first made her acquaintance, but later he found out that she suffered from what is known as Borderline Personality Disorder

If you read my article from a few weeks ago, I debunked the myth that “women will only engage in sex with men who they feel some sort of ‘emotional bond’ or ‘emotional connection’ with.”  I also mentioned in that same article that the vast majority of women do not ‘automatically’ develop deep emotional feelings for a man simply because that man has provided them with sexual enjoyment and sexual satisfaction multiple times.

Along these same lines, what I also offered was a ‘cautionary warning’ to my male readers, which was “a man should never ‘blur the line’ between being ‘romantic’ and ‘strictly sexual’ with a woman.”  In other words, when you as a man choose to spend just as much if not more time with a woman in a non-physical, non-sexual manner as you do with her sexually, and on top of that, you intentionally or unintentionally treat her like she is someone ‘special’ in your life, you are pretty much inviting a woman to potentially become obsessed with you to the point where she may just choose to stalk you right after you have conveyed to her that you no longer want to remain intimate with her any longer.


Anyone who has followed me as a Book Author, a Professional Dating Coach, and a Freelance Columnist and Writer knows that I always discourage single heterosexual men from giving into the temptation to lie to women, blatantly mislead women, and emotionally and psychologically manipulate women as a means of getting women to agree to have sex with them.  Personally, I do not believe in leaving women ‘mentally and emotionally damaged’ when it comes time to part ways with them.  Anytime you engage in a sexual relationship with a woman that was established on dishonest, insincere, and highly manipulative behavior, you are asking for problems and unnecessary drama to invite themselves into your world.

As a man, when you know from the time you make a woman’s acquaintance that you do not want this woman to ever become your long-term girlfriend, your future fiancée, and/or your future wife, you should verbally communicate that to this particular woman as soon as possible.  Similarly, even if you have been forthright with women about your desire for short-term non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex only, if you feel that a woman is slowly but surely beginning to behave in a very ‘clingy’ manner … and her communications with you are becoming more and more frequent with emotional undertones … my recommendation would be to cut things off with her immediately.


Given that I have some personal experience dealing with a number of women who started out seeming very “normal” and mentally and emotionally well-adjusted, but then these same women slowly but surely revealed to me that they were at least a wee bit unstable, I will give you a few pointers.

First and foremost, women who are stalkers LOVE attention

All women, generally speaking, love male attention.  Women who are stalkers in particular though REALLY love attention.  I mean 16+ hours per day, 7 days per week, non-stop attention.

Women who are stalkers rarely if ever like to be indefinitely ignored.  They would prefer to receive negative attention (i.e., verbal abuse) from a man than no attention at all.

Many women who are stalkers were usually spoiled by their father, step-father, or one or more of their previous spouses or long-term companions

In my experience and observation, I have found that the vast majority of women who tend to exhibit the behavior of a stalker tend to be women who had at least one man in their life – their father, step-father, grandfather, ex-husband, former boyfriend, or some other man who spent a lot of time with them – who spoiled them rotten.  A man who frequently gave into their insatiable need to be the center of attention constantly.

Many women who are stalker types tend to suffer from a psychiatric personality disorder

If you watched the movies, Fatal Attraction or Play Misty for Me, you might know that the two lead female characters in those movies suffered from what is known as Borderline Personality Disorder.  Other similar personality disorders are Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder.

Be warned: many women who are stalker types have homicidal and/or suicidal tendencies

No detailed commentary needed here.  For the most part, enough said.  A woman who is mentally unbalanced and emotionally unstable is capable of doing just about anything.

Most women who are stalker types will always seem “normal” within the first few days after you meet them … but then …

Very few women who are stalker types will show you their obsessive side right out the gate.  Usually, it won’t be until after you have engaged in sexual relations with them at least two or three times, and right after that, you decide to just go AWOL on them and blatantly ignore them for an indefinite period of time.  Once you do that … uh oh.


Men who are ladies’ men and womanizers, or aspire to be, need to be careful in their selection of sex partners.  Make sure you are not about to engage in a few days, a few weeks, or a few months of sex with a woman who may test positive for an STD, or worse, could be mentally unbalanced and emotionally unstable.

Many women in society are beautiful and sexy.  No doubt.  Sadly, behind many of those pretty faces and nice figures is a woman who is not playing with a “full deck” upstairs in between her ears, if you get my meaning.

Don’t play games with women or toy with women’s emotions.  You might live to regret it if the woman happens to be of the stalker type variety.

Senior writer Alan Roger Currie was recently named the 2017 Charles Tyler Freelance Writer & Columnist of the Year for the, and he was also named the’s 2017 Best Dating Coach for Men on YouTube and 2017 Black Male YouTube Personality of the Year. More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions. Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships. If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks. Currie has been a featured speaker at many dating advice workshops for men in the United States as well as internationally. Currie was the first African-American to be a featured speaker at The 21 Convention and will be a featured speaker again this year in October in Orlando, Florida. If you want to become a subscriber of Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie, CLICK HERE

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About Alan Roger Currie 91 Articles
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks, and is best known for the ground-breaking best-seller "Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking"; Currie is also a professional Men's Dating Coach who has worked with clients all over the world, and has conducted speaking engagements and workshops in many cities both in the U.S. and internationally. Contact him at