A consistent question I get from many men who follow my work is how to deal with women who are not on their level. When I say level I am speaking in terms of intelligence, education, and especially economic. Many men feel like they have to come down to a woman’s level in order to have a relationship. This is an interesting dynamic in itself. In the Black community in particular things are usually the other way around.
The popular notion in the Black community is that collectively Black men are not on the same level as Black women. Of course an examination of actual statistics will show that numerically more Black women are in college and will get degrees. That, however, is the case among all demographic groups. In terms of actual economic standing Black men are on a higher level. Indeed even in terms of education there are strong arguments that the quality of the degrees that Black men receive are higher since there is an overwhelming representation of Black men with STEM degrees in comparison to Black women. That might be an article for another day. The bottom line is that many Black men can make the argument that they are on a higher level than many of the Black women they encounter. The issue still comes down to how these men should deal with these women.
From a relationship perspective it has been the observation of many people that for a relationship to be truly successful the man must be above the woman. This is in terms of physical stature which is why women like men who are taller than them. This is in terms of economic standing with the man making more money than the woman. This is also in terms of intellectual capacity in terms of a woman being able to learn from the man. Ultimately it boils down to a woman being able to follow a particular man. Most women don’t want a man they can control. So this leads to the next issue. How much should a man sacrifice when dealing with a woman not on his level?
The answer is that a man shouldn’t sacrifice anything. The woman doesn’t have to equal a man’s level of intelligence or economic standing. She does have to be willing to follow his lead and be the type of woman who will support him as he climbs to even higher levels. The man needs to determine if the woman is indeed an asset or just someone with a phat ass. That last point is important.
Too many men come down to a woman’s level just for sex. That’s why there are so many men who end up losing their fortunes. They met a woman who fills out a tight pair of jeans but has nothing going on upstairs. They dumb themselves down because her doggystyle is great. Everything is great until they notice their quality of life is going down because they are meeting the woman where she is instead of bringing her to their level.
When a man reaches a certain level he must stand his ground and insist she comes to his level. If he is an intellectual type she needs to be able to engage him at an intellectual level. That means she may have to start visiting the library. If it’s a matter of class behavior let her know that she has to leave her ratchet friends behind. If it’s an issue of ambition she needs to develop some.
Let me clear on this part. Don’t be on some Captain Sav’em stuff. A key is that the woman must be willing to elevate on her own. Don’t take on any projects.
The take away is that a man must never lower himself to deal with any woman. She must always come to his level.