What Does it Mean to ‘Respect’ Women?

Many women will have you believe that it is ‘disrespectful’ for a man to openly discuss his desire to have sex with them in his very first conversation with a woman.  My question is, what exactly is ‘disrespectful’ about it?

Some men in society have allowed themselves to be brainwashed into believing that the only way you can be perceived as a ‘polite gentleman’ is to totally avoid any conversation where sexual enjoyment and satisfaction is the primary topic of discussion.  This is ridiculous.  This is almost analogous to suggesting that the only behavior that will be considered ‘socially appropriate’ in a fancy restaurant would be conversations where no one acknowledges that their stomach is growling with hunger for food.  Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Some prudish types in society will have you believe that there is just way too much sex taking place between men and women today.  For those who genuinely feel that way, I would vehemently disagree.  If anything, what you have going on today is a very sexually hypergamous society going on.  What exactly is a sexually hypergamous society?

Let’s say there were one million single heterosexual men in society, and one million single heterosexual women in society.  If all one million of the women were to connect with all one million of the men in society, and they were to all eventually end up having sex, this would be a truly ‘sexually active’ society.

Now, let’s say that roughly 800,000 of those one million single heterosexual women were only allowing approximately 200,000 of those one million single heterosexual men to engage in sexual relations with them.  This scenario would represent a concept known as hypergamy.  Some also refer to this scenario as being representative of the ’80-20 rule’ theory.  This theory suggests that only 20% of the men in any given social environment will be able to engage in short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with the majority of the women in that given social environment.  The remaining 80% of the men in that social environment will not be able to engage in sexual relations at all with any of the women unless a) they agree to spend a significant amount of money on the women and/or b) they promise these women long-term monogamy as their husband or long-term romantic companion.

How does the concept of hypergamy relate to the issue of women wanting to be respected by men?  Here’s the deal:  The vast majority of women do not want to be treated like ‘respectable good girls’ by ALL MEN.  80% of them?  85% of them?  90% of them?  Sure.  Most definitely.  Realistically, there is always a small percentage of men that women STRONGLY DESIRE those men to treat them like a naughty, nasty, kinky slut (I cannot tell you how many women have openly admitted and confessed this to me).

Bottom line?  On average, just about every woman in society wants no less than four out of every five men they socially interact with to avoid any discussion whatsoever related to sex.  They only desire purely platonic attention and companionship from most men, and a few other men, they want the discussion to center on the prospect of a long-term, emotionally profound, monogamous relationship that will ultimately lead to marriage.  Consequently, this is why so many women in society emphasize the notion of ‘being respected by men.’  What this really translates to in a woman’s mind is, “Only a small chosen few of you men are going to ever gain the opportunity to have sex with me outside the context of marriage or outside the context of a long-term ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ type relationship.  The rest of you can feel free to masturbate while fantasizing about having sex with me.”

For most men, having a woman offer them sex is a sign of ‘respect.’  Again, with many women, the concept of ‘respect’ is just the opposite.

This issue alone is why men will rarely see eye-to-eye when it comes to discussions and debates on ‘appropriate’ behavior vs. ‘inappropriate’ behavior.

The chasm continues.

If you would like to read more of my thoughts on male-female relationship dynamics, please check out my books and audiobooks.

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About Alan Roger Currie 91 Articles
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks, and is best known for the ground-breaking best-seller "Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking"; Currie is also a professional Men's Dating Coach who has worked with clients all over the world, and has conducted speaking engagements and workshops in many cities both in the U.S. and internationally. Contact him at coaching@modeone.net