First, read this related article: https://babe.net/2018/01/13/aziz-ansari-28355
Not only is the blend of the #MeToo Movement and the #TimesUp movement doing their best job of exposing men in media, Entertainment, as well as other industries to be gropers, rapists, and sexually manipulative bosses and business colleagues, but there is another type of man that these two movements are exposing that no one is really discussing.
MEN WHO ARE ‘GUILTY’ OF BEING SEXUALLY DUPLICITOUS
Last year, I wrote an article on this site about the sexually duplicitous nature of women (click here). The reality is, women are not the only ones who publicly attempt to give others the misleading impression that they are innocent, wholesome, prudish or semi-prudish, and only willing to engage in sex with lovers within the context of a long-term strictly monogamy oriented romantic relationship or marrige.
There are some men who have been accused of ‘sexual harassment’ and/or ‘sexual misconduct’ that did not legitimately grope or inappropriately touch any woman or attempt to rape them or date-rape them. Nor did these men blatantly expose their naked body (and penis in particular) without permission or consent
The main ‘crime’ of some of these men … if you want to refer to their libidinous exploits as such … is that they gave mainstream America and the general public the very misleading impression that they were ‘polite gentlemen’ who were either married, engaged to be married, involved with a long-term girlfriend, or at minimum, an eligible bachelor waiting to be ‘snatched up’ by the right woman … all the while, attempting to hide their more hedonistic and promiscuous tendencies.
MEN WHO ARE ‘PRETENDING’ TO BE MONOGAMY-ORIENTED ‘NICE GUYS’ ARE BEING EXPOSED
There is nothing wrong with exhibiting the behavior of the proverbial well-mannered and harmless “nice guy” if that behavior is representative of who you really are. The reality is, most men who publicly behave as though they are “nice guy” types really are usually anything but behind closed doors.
Why the duplicity?
My first response to that question would be, name a movie that was a heavy duty box-office success that primarily centered on the successful sexual conquests of a fictional (male) character that was known to be a prolific womanizer? I’ll wait.
The feature-film industry and television industry know all too well that that the idea of ‘true love,’ long-term monogamy, and unconditional romantic love sells movie tickets and attracts loyal TV viewers. Consequently, the vast majority of male movie stars and television stars play into the ‘lovey dovey’ façade of Hollywood.
In other words, many male celebrities ‘play a role’ with women in their personal and social lives, in addition to performing in front of the camera.
COMEDIANS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY & HARMLESS … NOT KINKY or PROMISCUOUS … RIGHT?
When I spoke in London in November 2010, I raised a few eyebrows when I told the men attending a weekend conference, “never try to be funny around women. Casually witty? Maybe. But never go out of your way to be ‘Mr. Funny Man’ with women.”
After I left the stage, many men approached me with feelings of surprise, curiosity, and disappointment. Some said, “Women have told me for years that having a sense of humor makes men more attractive and appealing as companions … but you’re saying, ‘don’t be funny’??” My response to many of the men was, “If you were to hire a street prostitute or professional Call Girl for sexual enjoyment and satisfaction, would you want her spending 15, 20, or 30 plus minutes telling you funny jokes and sharing funny stories both before sex and after sex?” The men could not help but to chuckle and shake their heads, “no.”
Re-read my article regarding Alpha males vs. Beta males. When women think of men who are professional comedians, they think of men who they want to entertain them. Not seduce them. No one has ever confused a male stripper and/or male porn star with a hilarious comic.
I would bet money that the woman who agreed to hook up with Aziz Ansari for the date mentioned in the article above did not give a remote thought to the idea of engaging in a kinky one-night stand or weekend fling with Ansari for even a micro-second. More than likely, this woman wanted to be entertained by Ansari, and possibly romanced over a period of weeks and months by this young rising star comedian who she viewed as funny and “harmless.” Aziz is not someone who has a public reputation for being a “ladies’ man” or “player.” He is considered one of the “nice guys” of Hollywood.
Even many well-known actors who do not specifically have a comedic background are viewed by many men and women as “harmless” or “wholesome.” Matt Lauer is (or was) married. Charlie Rose was considered “trustworthy.”
IF MEN WANT SEX … THEY NEED TO BE UPFRONT and STRAIGHTFORWARDLY HONEST ABOUT THEIR DESIRES
A lot of men mistakenly believe that the best way to get into a woman’s pants is to attempt to ‘sneak” into her pants. Be vague and ambiguous. Suppress or hide your true sexual desires, interests, and intentions from women temporarily or indefinitely.
I say, never give women “plausible deniability.” Put a woman in a position where she has to be accountable for her choice and consent to engage in sexual activities with you. Or … provoke her to make it clear that she has no interest in engaging in sexual activities with you. Either way, your image and reputation won’t be tainted in the long-run.
Remember: all of the so-called “nice guys” in society want to experience pleasurable orgasms with women just like the ‘jerks’ and ‘bad boys’ of society. So, no need to play the ‘polite gentleman’ role with women. Trust me … women know what men really want from them, and it is not entertaining conversation.
More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions. Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships. If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks. Currie has been a featured speaker at many dating advice workshops for men in the United States as well as internationally. If you want to become a Patreon.com subscriber of Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie, CLICK HERE