5 Detriments to Maintaining a ‘Side Chick’ or Mistress

I have always maintained that if a man is a ‘True Player’ and/or a legitimate ‘Pimp,’ then lying to women and cheating on women is not in his playbook at all.  If these men have two or more lovers at any given point in time, all of their lovers know about their additional lovers.

Even many married men with a high degree of seductive influence over women and a very strong sex game maintain one or more concubines (a concubine is an additional lover that a married man maintains a strictly sexual relationship with that his wife knows about and approves of, and many times the concubine(s) will actually live with the married couple and act as a maid, a personal chef, a nanny or babysitter, or serve the married couple in some other capacity).

Then, there are unmarried men who cheat with one or more women behind their female companion’s back (these women are often referred to as ‘side pieces’ or ‘side chicks’) and married men who commit adultery with one or more women behind their wife’s back (these women are known as mistresses).

The advantage of maintaining a sexual relationship with a side chick or mistress is that men get to ‘have their cake and eat it too.’  These men will maintain the façade of being a strictly monogamy-oriented male romantic companion with their wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend, but behind closed doors, they get to enjoy the pleasures of promiscuity (i.e., short-term non-monogamous sex) and/or polyamory (i.e., long-term non-monogamous sex).

The question is … what are the primary disadvantages of maintaining a sexual relationship with a side chick or mistress?

THE TOP 5 DRAWBACKS TO CHEATING WITH A SIDE CHICK and COMMITTING ADULTERY WITH A MISTRESS

In the short-run, cheating or committing adultery may always seem beneficial to the sexually duplicitous man.  The reality is, there is no such thing as a “free lunch.”  There are always consequences and repercussions to perpetual dishonesty, duplicity, and unethical behavior.

For the remainder of the article, I will highlight the Top 5 detriments to long-term cheating and adultery:

·         Detriment #5 – You probably will have to maintain two mobile phones
·         Detriment #4 – You will have to become a pathological liar with your spouse or significant other for an indefinite period of time
·         Detriment #3 – You will feel awkward anytime your spouse or significant other asks you the question, “Have you been with anyone else sexually since we’ve been together?”
·         Detriment #2 – You will soon begin to feel paranoid on a week-to-week basis that your long-term girlfriend, fiancée, or wife will cross paths with your mistress or side chick
·         Detriment #1 – A disgruntled mistress or side chick will always be in a position to blackmail you if and when she begins to feel ignored, disrespected, or unexpectedly becomes pregnant

Below, I will add a few brief comments for each of the detriments listed above.

DETRIMENT #5 – YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE TO MAINTAIN TWO MOBILE PHONES

Just about every married man I have ever known who had at least one mistress, or any unmarried man who was cheating regularly on his long-term girlfriend or fiancée, usually had to invest in the purchase of a second mobile phone to prevent their side chicks or mistresses from calling their home phone and primary mobile phone.

If this is the case, at some point this is going to lead to unintentional mishaps and even episodes of mental stress attempting to juggle the demands and requests of two or more women who want your time, your money, and your sexual companionship.

Are you ready for the challenge of being a top-notch ‘multi-tasker’ in regard to your personal and social life?

DETRIMENT #4 – YOU WILL HAVE TO BECOME A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR WITH YOUR SPOUSE OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER FOR AN INDEFINITE PERIOD OF TIME

Do you have the lack of ethics to become a liar with your spouse or significant other for a period of weeks, months, years, and even decades?

A person’s conscience has a way of haunting them in the long run.  As the character of Lou Mannheim expressed to Bud Fox in the 1987 financial drama Wall Street, “Man looks into the abyss, there’s nothing staring back at him.  At that moment, a man finds his (moral) character.  And that is what keeps him out of the abyss.”  Marinate on that for at least a few minutes.

DETRIMENT #3 – YOU WILL FEEL AWKWARD ANYTIME YOUR SPOUSE or SIGNIFICANT OTHER ASKS YOU THE QUESTION, “HAVE YOU BEEN WITH ANYONE ELSE SEXUALLY SINCE WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER?”

This relates to Detriment #4.  What many men do not consciously realize is that it is much harder to lie with your facial expressions and your overall body language than it is to simply lie with your words.  Women who are very perceptive will be able to pick up on your dishonest and disingenuous body language.

DETRIMENT #2 – YOU WILL SOON BEGIN TO FEEL PARANOID ON A WEEK-TO-WEEK BASIS THAT YOUR SPOUSE or SIGNIFICANT OTHER WILL INEVITABLY CROSS PATHS WITH YOUR MISTRESS or SIDE CHICK

If your mistress or side chick resides in the same city as you and your spouse or companion, it is almost inevitable that these women will ‘cross paths’ with each other at some point.  If this does indeed happen, how will this make you feel?  Nine times out of ten, you will feel paranoid as hell.

Just imagine if your wife or girlfriend says to you, “Hey babe … I ran into this woman that says she knows you.  Her name is [insert name of mistress or side chick here].  How do you know this woman?  She said that she has known you for a long time.”

DETRIMENT #1 – A DISGRUNTLED MISTRESS or SIDE CHICK WILL ALWAYS BE IN A POSITION TO BLACKMAIL YOU IF AND WHEN SHE BEGINS TO FEEL IGNORED, DISRESPECTED, or SHE BECOMES UNEXPECTEDLY PREGNANT

Never be delusional about this fact:  The longer you maintain an extramarital affair with a mistress, or a long-term on-the-side relationship with a side chick, the more this woman will gain ‘egotistical leverage’ over you.  How so?

Your mistress or side chick will eventually be in a position to make excessive demands or requests on your time and your sexual (and non-sexual) attention and companionship to the point that if you leave her feeling frustrated, ignored, or disrespected, she can go as far as to blackmail you and threaten to confess everything to your wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend if you do not give in to her demands.

And God forbid if your mistress or side chick becomes unexpectedly pregnant by you.  Your life will never be the same again.

QUIT BEING A LYING WOMANIZER AND A VERBAL COWARD

If you are being honest, anytime you resort to cheating or adultery, you are really being an egotistically insecure verbal coward.  That’s right, I said it.  You are both egotistically insecure … and you are a straight-up verbal coward.  In other words, just about all of your behavior is guided by FEAR.

You are afraid your wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend will divorce you or break up with you if she knows that you really have promiscuous and/or polyamorous tendencies.

You are also afraid that if you ‘opened up’ your marriage or romantic relationship (i.e., indulged in polyamory), that your wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend might find a man whose sexual companionship is more exciting and more satisfying than yours.

If you were a real man, you would begin the relationship or marriage by letting your wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend know upfront that you want to maintain additional lovers, and you would make sure that she adheres to your program (this is what pimps and top-notch ‘players’ do).

If you choose to indulge in a life of perpetual dishonesty, lack of ethics, and ongoing cheating and adultery … good luck.

You’re going to need it.

Senior writer Alan Roger Currie was recently named the 2017 Charles Tyler Freelance Writer & Columnist of the Year for the NegroManosphere.com, and he was also named the NegroManosphere.com’s 2017 Best Dating Coach for Men on YouTube and 2017 Black Male YouTube Personality of the Year. More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions. Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships. If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks. Currie has been a featured speaker at many dating advice workshops for men in the United States as well as internationally. Currie was the first African-American to be a featured speaker at The 21 Convention and will be a featured speaker again this year in October in Orlando, Florida. If you want to become a Patreon.com subscriber of Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie, CLICK HERE

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About Alan Roger Currie 78 Articles
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks, and is best known for the ground-breaking best-seller "Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking"; Currie is also a professional Men's Dating Coach who has worked with clients all over the world, and has conducted speaking engagements and workshops in many cities both in the U.S. and internationally. Contact him at coaching@modeone.net