Why does any man need advice about dating and relationships?
Well, the same question could be asked about men who seek out nutrition advice and advice regarding proper exercise habits. Why would anyone be interested in hiring a personal nutritionist and/or diet expert? Why would anyone be interested in hiring a personal fitness trainer?
Tony Robbins is one of the most popular ‘life coaches’ and self-help gurus in the entire world. Robbins is now worth hundreds of millions of dollars because he has helped millions of men and women improve some aspect of their life. Robbins’ career and financial success is a testament to the fact that there are many men and women in society who seek out ‘self-help’ advice to help them improve various aspects of their personal life, professional life, and social life.
Is self-help advice that is designed to improve a man or woman’s love life and/or sex life overrated? Or underrated?
Prior to the 1960s, there was really no need for a man to hire a ‘dating coach.’ Why not? Because in the 19th Century and for the first four or five decades of the 20th Century, dating centered on one thing, and one thing only: Identifying the man or woman who was destined to be your future wife or husband, and the future mother or father of your children. Only among an extremely small percentage of men and women in society did their dating habits deviate from this objective.
As I mention in my book, The Beta Male Revolution: Why Many Men Have Totally Lost Interest in Marriage in Today’s Society, that fifteen-year period between approximately 1960 and 1974 changed everything about dating rituals and sexual relationships between men and women. The single biggest factor that provoked the biggest change was when women, as a group, began to become much more open to and comfortable with the idea of engaging in sexual relations with men prior to being married for the first time and engaging in sex with men outside the context of marriage period. Prior to the 1960s, most women were expected to remain a sexual virgin up until the night of their honeymoon subsequent to exchanging marriage vows the very first time.
So, to quickly recap, most dating rituals between men and women prior to the 1960s centered almost specifically on one type of (sexual) relationship:
- Sex within the context of marriage
Beginning with no later than roughly 1975, the advent of the birth control pill and other birth control contraceptives, legalized abortion, Second-Wave Feminism, and the Sexual Revolution / Free Love Movement all contributed to sex between men and women taking place in a variety of additional types of relationships:
- Sex within the context of a long-term, emotionally profound, monogamous relationship (married or unmarried)
- Sex within the context of a long-term non-monogamous relationship (what is generally known as ‘polyamory’ or an ‘open relationship’ or ‘open marriage’)
- Sex within the context of a short-term monogamous relationship (i.e., what is commonly referred to as a ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ relationship that includes sex, but usually does not last more than a few weeks, a few months or maybe a year or two)
- Sex within the context of a short-term non-monogamous relationship (i.e., what is generally known as promiscuous ‘casual sex’)
Because now, men (and women) have so many options for different types of romantic and sexual relationships to engage in, this is why the dating and relationship advice industry has exploded.
Similar to physicians in the healthcare industry, there are a few different types of ‘advisors.’ For example, in the healthcare industry, you have some doctors who are known as “family physicians” or “general practitioners.” Then there are other doctors who have a specific area of medical expertise known as a ‘specialty.’ Here would be a few examples of medical specialists:
- Cardiologist (focuses on heart-related ailments)
- Dermatologist (focuses on skin-related ailments)
- Gastroenterologist (focuses on stomach-related ailments)
- Gynecologist (focuses on women’s genitalia-related problems and pregnancy-related issues)
- Ophthalmologist (focuses on eye-related problems, diseases, and injuries)
(see full list of medical specialists here)
Well, in the world of dating and relationship advice, there are also “general advice” experts (usually referred to as a “life coach”) as well as those who ‘specialize’ on a specific phase of dating and relationships. Here are a few examples of specific types of dating and relationship advisors:
- Dating Coach
- Divorce Counselor
- Marriage Therapist
- Pickup Artist (PUA)
- Relationship Expert
- Sex Skills Advisor / Bedroom Coach
Some of the differences:
Dating Coach: A professional Dating Coach is someone who usually helps a man or woman improve their physical appearance, clothing, and body language, their interpersonal communication skills with members of the opposite sex, and/or educates them to improve their general understanding of the psychology of the opposite sex so that they will be able to quickly weed out the non-suitable romantic and sexual companions while on their way to identifying a potentially suitable romantic and sexual companion. Most sessions are usually conducted face-to-face, but many Dating Coaches also offer sessions with clients via Email, via the telephone, and/or via Skype. Note: This profession does not usually require any type of license, certification, or specific academic credentials
Divorce Counselor: As the name suggests, a Divorce Counselor is usually a credentialed position (but there are some men and women who operate in this position without any sort of academic credentials or certifications) whose primary purpose is to help men and women who are having a tough time overcoming a recent divorce with their former spouse. Most sessions happen face-to-face, but some sessions with clients may transpire via the telephone or via Skype.
Marriage Therapist: Similar to a Divorce Counselor, a Marriage Therapist is usually a credentialed position (rarely does one act in this position without a Masters and/or Ph.D as well as some sort of license or certification) whose primary purpose is to help married couples overcome any designated challenges or issues in their marriage that will hopefully prevent the married couple from choosing to become legally separated or file for divorce. Just about all sessions with clients are handled face-to-face in a private local office.
Pickup Artist (PUA): A pickup artist (otherwise known as simply ‘PUAs’) is similar to a dating coach, but their primary objective is to help men meet, seduce, and engage in (casual) sex with women within a few hours or a few days after first making that woman’s acquaintance. Typically, a top-notch PUA will possess exceptional ‘same day seduction’ skills that will allow him to visit a bar/restaurant or a nightclub, and persuade a new female acquaintance to agree to have sex with him within the same day he met that woman, or at maximum, less than a week later. Most instructional sessions with clients happen face-to-face in some social environment where plenty of single women are around (most PUAs refer to this as, “going out in the field”), but some clients learn from PUAs via CDs and/or DVDs. Note: Similar to a professional Dating Coach, this profession does not require any sort of license, academic credential, or certification
Relationship Expert: A Relationship Expert (or Relationship Coach) is sort of halfway between a Dating Coach and a Marriage Therapist. Their area of expertise focuses on helping men and women maintain a high degree of romantic and sexual chemistry over a period of months, years, or even decades for those men and women involved in a long-term, but usually unmarried relationship (such as cohabitation). Many Relationship Experts work with their clients preferably face-to-face (either in a one-on-one setting or a group workshop setting), but many handle sessions via Email, via the telephone, and/or via Skype. Note: Some Relationship Coaches and Experts do possess some sort of certification while most who operate in this profession do not
Sex Skills Advisor / Bedroom Coach: There are some men and women who actually offer advice and assistance to men and women that totally centers around being able to provide a greater degree of sexual pleasure and orgasmic satisfaction to their chosen sex partners. Typically the men and women who operate in this position are former adult film actors and actresses, or former male sex workers (i.e., gigolos) and female sex workers (i.e., street prostitutes, professional Call Girls, upscale Erotic Escorts). Most Sex Coaches work with clients face-to-face, but some work with clients via Skype or DVDs. Note: This position is not one that requires a license, a formal certification, or any sort of academic credentials such as a Masters or Ph.D.
Of the six categories above, I would place myself most validly into the category of “Dating Coach” (although a lot of my fans, followers, and supporters tend to also place me in the categories of ‘Pickup Artist’ and ‘Relationship Expert’; I rarely if ever refer to myself as either of the two). My primary area of expertise would be the following:
- Helping single heterosexual men improve their verbal communication skills while engaged in conversations with women (either face-to-face or over-the-telephone); Also a more specific emphasis on improving one’s ‘verbal seduction’ skills
- Helping single heterosexual men ‘read’ a woman’s subtle and overt body language signs of interest and disinterest
- Helping single heterosexual men avoid engaging in ‘manipulative head games’ with women while at the same time, helping them quickly and effectively identify when women are attempting to engage in ‘head games’ with them
- Helping men identify the most profound fears and egotistical insecurities in their mind that are negatively affecting their sense of self-confidence and self-esteem as it relates to approaching women, initiating a conversation with women, and creating romantic and/or sexual chemistry with women
- Helping single heterosexual men prevent themselves from becoming a ‘bitter misogynist’ who maintains a high degree of bitterness, resentment, and even hatred toward women
- Helping men generally understand the psychology of different types of women
I also operate as a BDSM lifestyle and Polyamory lifestyle advisor for women and couples (for more info about that, click here). I have even coached and mentored other dating coaches and relationship experts over the past few years.
When seeking out the services of any Dating and Relationship Advisor, you should first find out what their specialty is, what advice do they offer that is uniquely different than any other advisor in their same field (and verify that they are not just repeating and regurgitating beliefs and philosophies that they have absorbed from other advisors; You always want to receive advice from someone whose knowledge, wisdom and general insight comes from their own experiences as opposed to the experiences of others), how much their rates are for giving you advice, and what eBooks, paperbacks, or hardcovers have they authored.
Note: For the reason I stated above, I would be wary of dating coaches and/or relationship experts who have not authored at least one eBook, paperback, or hardcover; Reason being, a book ideally represents what makes that person’s advice UNIQUE and ORIGINAL (for example, if Dating Coach “Jake” was to blatantly steal the exact same principles, philosophies, and psychology from Dating Coach “Andrea,” and place the duplicate advice in a book, then Andrea could sue Jake for intellectual property infringement; But if Dating Coach Jake has never published an eBook, paperback, or hardcover, then he could charge a client money for advice that did not originate from his own mind until he is eventually publicly exposed for simply ripping-off the advice of some other dating coach or relationship expert)
In my very next article, I will go into more detail about why I believe what I refer to as ‘The Mode One Approach’ is one of the better methods for a man to embrace in order to better verbally communicate his romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women of interest, as well as why it diminishes the ‘egotistical sting’ of rejection from women.
More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions. Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships. If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks. Currie will be a featured speaker at the 10th Anniversary Edition of The 21 Convention in Orlando, Florida (USA). For more information, visit https://the21convention.org/arc