I have to get something off my chest. For the last forty years Black women have both publicly and privately put down Black Men. Publicly in the media such as TV specials talking about the shortage of “good Black men,” through support of books bashing Black men, and especially in certain movies based off those books. Privately many hardworking Black men have had Black women tell them to their face about the terrible nature of Black men. We have all witnessed this. Collectively Black women have given the impression that they don’t want the majority of Black men. It is what it is.
One response by some Black women has been to openly advocate relationships with men of other races particularly Europeans. There is also a subculture of Black women who advocate relationships with Asian men. Many Black women consider these relationships to be empowering. Okay, whatever makes them happy.
Here’s where I think Black women have a serious problem. Black women will say a Black man is too short, doesn’t have “swag,” or not on their level financially or educationally. Black women will espouse the virtues of non-Black men to anyone willing to listen. Okay we get that. The problem is when these men accept that Black women don’t want them and decide to move on to women who do want them. Black women have the nerve to get mad when a brotha they don’t want decides to move on with Becky or Mai Ling.
I know this topic has been talk about constantly in the last forty years but the reason is because it represents a double standard in the thinking of Black women. I remember in college a student wrote a paper talking about how Black men shouldn’t deal with white women because of a “shortage of Black men.” Fair enough. In the same paper the student wrote it was okay for Black women to get with white men because of the shortage of Black men. To say some Black male students called bullshit on this paper is an understatement.
Too many Black women act like they can belittle every Black man they see for mainly superficial reasons. Too many Black women outright reject Black men. The funny thing is that these Black women behave as if these men should still hang around to be at their beck and call. These women got some serious nerve. If someone mistreats an actual four legged dog by yelling at it, hitting it, and not feeding it, this dog will eventually run away and find someone who’s going to treat it right. Why wouldn’t Black men do the same thing?
If a Black man is told by his supposed sisters that he is too short, too ugly, too boring, or not on their level, what’s he going to do? That Black man is going to gravitate towards the women who find him tall enough, handsome enough, exciting enough, and on their level. It’s just common sense. Any man, regardless of race, is going to go where he is celebrated. It’s the human thing to do.
Many Black women have to grow up and realize that actions have consequences. If the action is rejecting a large group of men, then the consequence is that the large group of men will move on to greener pastures. Black women should NEVER get mad when they see a Black man with a woman of another race. That many do shows that they have a lot of nerve. It’s been forty years of Black women bashing Black men in every forum available to them. Did these Black women not think there would be a response from the brothas? Then many Black woman have the nerve to get mad at the brothas for rolling out.
On this issue Black women need to get over themselves.