The world is not straight. Be aware of all its corners and turns so you can walk it freely.
So my friends came, they wanted to test me, they wanted to find fault in the explanation I would give. But I already knew where they were heading to. You see, I have this strong view about women which I express everywhere in words and in action. I see women and men as equal with obvious different roles to play in the survival of the society. This view is the reason I don’t subscribe to many ploys by some women to have an advantage or take advantage just because they are women. It doesn’t work with me. Although I defer sometimes (Naija here? You have to). Men are not superior to women, women are not superior to men. Rather, both of them compliment each other.
So my friends asked me what is my opinion about when a woman says No when it comes to sex. I Knew the condition they were putting me since all of them also hold the same view of men and women equality but here they were making me the expert. Is No No? They asked?
I have not left the shores of this country. I have not had a reason to. So you have to forgive me If I think when a woman says No in the West it is no. I came to this conclusion from many of their books I had read and movies I had watched. The western women are as expressive as their men and have no time for pretence when it comes to sex. I am afraid the same thing is not applicable in Nigeria. Nigerian women are shy, inexpressive and pretend when it comes to sex.
So what was my answer? I said ‘it depends on what she means by No, it depends on the No she is saying’.
It simply means that in Nigeria when a woman says No it could mean different things. It could mean: ‘you have to try again’, ‘hey not so fast, try harder’, ‘I am not releasing myself easily, you have to make me release myself to you so try again or harder’, or the real ‘no’ – ‘I am not interested’. No means several things when it comes from the mouth of a Nigerian woman.
You were alone in the room and you tried to touch her and she said ‘no’ and you didn’t try again (your loss). You have touched each other, kissed and you were taking your hand down to her pant and she said ‘no’, and you disentangled yourself from her. Oh bro, sorry is your name. So you didn’t check to understand the ‘no’ she uttered? You didn’t confirm how the no was said and you just left? You didn’t go back to the kissing and touching to try take your hand to the pant again? Oh bro sorry is your case.
Okay, you were kissing, touching and in the heat of the moment when you tried to pull her pant she said ‘no’ but didn’t push you or stop you instead she was touching and caressing you, she was saying ‘no’ but raised her waist up so you could remove her pant easily and that was when you heard the ‘no’ well enough and you left her pant like manacles on her legs. Oh bro, you ain’t got no heaven. You didn’t take your time to understand the ‘no’ she was saying. Did you? You didn’t get a hint from when she raised her waist so you could pull the pant easily. Did you? Oh bro, rest in peace.
How come you didn’t understand that ‘no’ has different meaning here? How come you didn’t notice from that first moment you wooed her and she told you ‘no’ and you didn’t take her no for no but you went back again and again until she told you ‘yes’? Why then have you not been able to know when ‘n