Olufunke Phillips: The Nigerian Marilyn Monroe

I, Sylvanus Omoniyi, omo ti mama f’oja aran pon, have been in love with so many people. Women in particular. Most of these people don’t even know that I’m love with them. Some, I have declared publicly. Others, I have decided to keep in my heart. However, I feel it is not strange to fall in love and then tell the people you are in love with, that you are in love with them. Nobody should see me as a mad man, please. I just love to be sincere with myself. If I have feelings for you and I decide to tell you, don’t think I’m crazy.

 

When Doctor Muideen Owolabi Bakare invited me to Enugu, the second most important question he asked me when we met was, ‘how is Olufunke Phillips?’ And then, we drove to the barber’s and we chatted briefly about Olufunke and my love for her. I’m not very sure Olufunke and I could be married but I’m very sure I love her. And I’m very sure that I will die. So, before I die, please, leave me alone and let me make my love known to the people that I love.

 

Destiny Ruth Obiakoeze and I should be married by now but she is very stubborn. Perhaps she thinks I’m not serious because she has read my posts many times and knows very well about my love for Olufunke. Even this stupid girl, Sophia Jerome, questioned me about Olufunke when we went to the shrine together in Ibadan. This is not simping. The whole Nigeria already knows about my love for Olufunke. It is strange how people think I’m high when they read my posts on some issues.

 

Most of them think I smoke and sniff and drink. They think I write under the influence of drugs. Or alcohol. But, God knows who I am. When I met with Mgbeahuru Chidi, he asked: ‘do you smoke or drink or take drugs or what motivates you when you write?’ Perhaps he was expecting me to say yes to the things he mentioned. I told him I don’t smoke or drink or get involved in drugs. He was surprised! In fact, I get intoxicated with ordinary palm wine when I take it in excess.

 

The last time I took palm wine at a naming ceremony, after one hour, I was talking to people like a rascal. I knew I was high already. I have been avoiding palm wine since then. The only drink I take occasionally is ‘Orijin’. It contains only 6% alcohol. And I don’t just take it for fun. I take it when I have stomach rumblings. And pile. So, Nigerians, please stop thinking weed is my inspiration. I don’t know how those things are done. Most times I have thought about it too. I have asked myself whether people can’t do things naturally without being influenced by something.

 

The things I write are inspired by God. God is my inspiration, not alcohol. I fire bullets of words to politicians when they do wrongly. I write to right their wrongs. I write to correct the vices in the society. Wickedness will continue to increase if we fail to correct wicked people. If good men are silent in the face of injustice, wicked men will continue to rule. So, it is sane to bark when something goes wrong in the society, so that it can be quickly corrected. We shouldn’t keep silent about things that matter. We shouldn’t look on when things are not going well.

 

Finally, let your dreams be your driving force. Let your wishes guide you. Go after what you want in life, so that you won’t have to end your life in regret. I should have, I could have, these words are words of regret. Don’t ever live your life never being sure. Try things. Try new things. Don’t be afraid of failing. It is better to fail than never to have tried. It is never good to live life in doubt. If you try and you fail, you will know you have failed. But it is a bad thing never to try. Try to increase your failure rate so that you can increase your success rate.

 

This is not motivational speaking. We can become whatever we set our minds to become. We can create the kind of life we want. We can do the things we want to do. We can achieve our dreams. We can attract the love of our life. But, we are always afraid. We allow fear to dominate us so much that we start thinking we are incapable and insufficient. The truth is, one of the enemies we have to deal with is fear. Fear has killed many dreams. Fear has robbed many of us of great opportunities. Fear has rendered us powerless. Fear is a killer. It is an enemy. If you don’t deal with it, it will deal with you!

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