An Open Letter To Black Women


“Free expression is the base of human rights, the root of human nature and the mother of truth. To kill free speech is to insult human rights, to stifle human nature and to suppress truth”

Liu Xiaobo

Over the course of my relatively short time here at the, I’ve tried to provide you brothers with content that is both informative and entertaining. In doing so, a great many of my articles address issues that we as men deal with as it pertains to women in various areas. These areas of include dating/mating, equality and the inequity in the legal system as it pertains to men and women.

As usually is the case, once you start telling the truth, people get upset.  Of course, in this context, by people I mean women, black women specifically. They don’t get upset because what I’m saying isn’t true.  They get upset because it’s true and they wished that it wasn’t.   Addressing it and pointing these things out forces them to come to grips with a lot of things about themselves that they’d rather ignore and the option to hide their collective heads in the sand is gone. Plausible deniability is gone. When things are put out on in the open, they have to be dealt with.

That brings me to the main point that I want to address in this article. I chose to title it the way I did for a reason.  When you make yourself a public figure, or at least in my case, make your work public, people have the right to criticize it. While I certainly don’t claim to be as big in stature or have as loud of a voice in the black manosphere as many, if not all of my cohorts here at the, I’ve received a good of criticism and backlash for many of the things  that I’ve said in the form of comments, emails and etc.

My critics, who to no one’s surprise are black women, have accused me of bashing black women. They want to know why I do it. Allow me to address the last question first. Every problem in the black community, and let’s not kid ourselves, there are many, are always attributed to some action or inaction by black men.

By and large, black women are insulated from the consequences of their choice or actions. Furthermore, all maladaptive behavior is excused or rationalized away and all culpability is deflected on to brothers like me.  By bothers like me I mean law abiding, productive members of society who take care of their responsibilities, not Pookie, Ray Ray, Young Cow Tippa, or Lil Pistol Starter, who deserve all the ire they receive. But that’s just it. Instead of placing blame at the feet of those to whom it rightly belongs, it falls on our shoulders, the good, decent brothers.  I do it because brothers like me have been taking on it on the chin for far too long with no recourse.

Now, let’s look into the bashing. Bashing, according to the Oxford Dictionary is harsh criticism. By that definition I am guilty as charged. I do in fact have harsh criticisms of black women. However, there are two kinds of critics, an honest and a dishonest one. I’m of the former variety rather than the latter. Everything “bitch and complaint” that I’ve levied against black women comes with data and examples that are cited and are independently verifiable. No, they aren’t always nice or paint a positive picture, but they’re always honest.

Switching gears, I think my critics are looking at it the wrong way. The fact that I choose to spend time addressing these things prove that I care and don’t see black women as a lost cause.  Let’s be honest, brutally honest for a minute.  It has become both fashionable and profitable to bash black men.  Black men ain’t shit is a perfectly viable business model. We need look no further than Youtube. Let us not forget, that merely a few months ago the results of the black gender wars on that platform. For those that may not be familiar with what I’ talking about, several sisters moved to have several prominent members of the black manosphere, many of them contributors to this site, channels taken down.  Yet, the black women who criticize shame or otherwise badmouth black men with their sites were never in danger of having their channels shutdown.  Black women bashing, isn’t nearly as lucrative a business model. True, a few exceptional pundits, such as Tommy Sotomayor many make large sums, but that by far is the exception and not the rule. So rest assured, I’m not doing this for the money.

If you go to any type of recovery program, what’s the first they thing they tell you? Before any change can happen, you must be willing to admit that you have a problem. Everything stems from that.  The critics claim that they care about the community and want to fix it. How exactly is that going to happen when all legitimate criticisms and concerns about our women are brushed aside? What those critics should be worried about is the day that brothers like me stop voicing our concerns and criticisms. That would mean that we’ve checked out and view the situation as broken beyond repair. To be fair, that is the position that a lot of brothers have already taken for various reasons, a lot which are found in the context of the articles that I’ve written.

Black women, do you wonder why brothers aren’t running to rushing to defend you when other people bash you? Do you wonder why when you see a good looking, successful brother with a woman who doesn’t look like you? Do you wonder why when you see a good looking, well dressed single brother you have to ask yourself, does he even date black women?

The answer to all these questions and questions like them are because black men are fed up.  So, sisters, I know you’re reading because I get your comments. Here’s an open invitation. If you truly care about the community and you want to stand in solidarity with brothers and been seen as our queens, check yourself.  You have never, nor will you ever hear me say that all brothers are good people and are without any flaws. That simply isn’t true.

However, I’ll leave the sisters this as food for thought. One of the truest measures of power is the ability to criticize.  Between black men and women, which one of us can be criticized and which one of us can’t? Criticizing a black man costs you nothing, be it money, social status, etc. Yet criticizing a black woman, even when it is valid, always comes with a cost and it usually comes in the form of lost wages and damage to your reputation.

So brothers like me are putting a lot on the line doing what we do, often with little return.  Knowing that, we still do it. What are you willing to do or sacrifice to put this thing back together, if that in fact is what you want as so many of you claim? Are you willing to listen to valid criticisms and govern yourselves accordingly or will you continue the status quo?

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