The Real Deal with Struggle Love

I saw a video recently with a young Black woman talking about “struggle love.”  For those who live under a rock “struggle love” is the concept of a woman being with love with a broke man.   They are struggling in life but she stays with the man.   In the video the woman stated that she was tired of struggle love.  She stated very clearly and loudly that she wanted a man who had his “act” together.  In other words he couldn’t be broke.   Same story, different person.

Women have been saying that want a man who is already successful for the decades I’ve been paying attention.  Indeed the romance novel industry is based off of women fantasying about men who have it all.   Billions have been made on the concept.   What these women don’t seem to get is why this fantasy doesn’t come true.

The key to understanding women is knowing is how they pick in terms of a boyfriend vs a husband.   In general a boyfriend is so supposed to provide excitement to the woman.  This excitement ranges from fun dates to great sex.   This excitement doesn’t always includes money.  At best a man may need a little money to take her on dates but not always since the biggest thing a boyfriend brings a woman is sex.    Since money isn’t a major issue a woman will not focus on it as much.   A boyfriend is only bringing the fun.

Now the thing with a boyfriend is he doesn’t necessarily live with a woman.   He doesn’t help her with her bills.   He doesn’t have to be responsible for taking out the trash or making sure the boiler gets fixed.   That’s different for a husband.   A husband not only has to do all those fun things every now and then but he has to take out the trash, fix things around the house, and deal with his wife’s family members.   The husband has to be, even in this feminist age, the primary breadwinner.   He’s the one that expected to provide a great living environment.   That’s what makes a good husband.   Funny thing is that a great husband probably made a lousy boyfriend.

A man who would be a great husband as well as a financially successful man is typically not a life of the party type of man.  Such a man would be more frugal with his money as he building his fortune.   He wouldn’t spend the money in an attempt to entertain the woman.   He might not have a great style because he is not spending his money on clothes and a late model car.   Unless he is extremely good looking most women may not give him the time of day.

So the issue is that women ignore the men who are most likely to make a lot of money.   They go for the exciting broke man, marry him, and then get mad at him for not being a good husband.   They think there is something so magical about the wedding ceremony that a man who was the life of the party will all of sudden become a man who is ready to do the mundane tasks of a husband.

The real deal with “struggle love” is that women use faulty criteria in choosing a man.   This is especially the case in the Black community.   Black women chase after the party boy and then get mad when he keeps partying instead of working to build a fortune.   What Black women need to do is recognize the traits of a man who will make money.   I don’t mean an athlete or entertainer.    In other communities the men who will make money always seem to at least have a girlfriend when they are young.

If women, particularly Black women, don’t want “struggle love” they need to find a way to recognize and be attracted to the men who have traits to become rich.  Until they do so the complaints about struggle love will continue.


Visit Rom Wills at

Facebook Comments