This Black Gender War has been going on for nearly forty years. Maybe longer as I only started paying attention in the late eighties. Of course there are many who think this is recent phenomenon. Not at all. The only difference between now and the eighties is that men have a platform to air their grievances whereas before through the national media we only heard the voices of Black women and the Black men SIMPathetic (look I made up a word) to their cause. I’m not going to get into the issues thrown around on both sides of this gender divide. That is done in numerous places. I’m more interested in looking at the ultimate cause of this war. Black women really want a small percentage of men.
On a comment on one of my YouTube videos, a gentleman named Duke Mann made the following comment:
“Black women are miserable because they don’t have access to the top tier men. The swirling movement, dark skin activism, and pro-blackism are all ploys by black women to gain access to the top men.”
There you have it. An honest look at the complaints stated by Black women will show that they center on a “shortage of good Black men.” If one reads between the lines the real issue is that the men Black women consider to be quality, i.e. they are tall, rich, handsome, and sexually appealing, are not dealing with the majority of Black women. Think for a second, if a woman has a man who is considered “quality” she wouldn’t have any complaints. For many years Black women would complain about a shortage of men and what they weren’t doing. What they really meant, because women tend to be indirect, is that either the “quality” men were not dealing with them or that the “quality” men weren’t doing right by them.
A great example is when a Black male celebrity dates or marries either a non-Black woman or one that looks to be racially ambiguous. Black women will take to social media to complain about that man inferring that he represents all Black men. This is even in situations where many Black men will publically state their preference for Black women with more African features. The problem here is that many Black women are only focused on the celebrities and not on the men who may be right in front of them. Thus we have a gender war.
As I stated earlier for years Black women had the platforms to air their side of the story. Now with social media Black men are able to clap back. Many of those men who many Black women didn’t consider to be “quality” are no longer invisible. Not only are these men able to tell their stories but many men are able to do an analysis of the Black male/female dynamics that brought us to this point. That dynamic is the Black female selection criteria.
The Black female selection criteria is the idea that Black women divide Black men into two categories for dating and relationships; select and non-select. If one can accept that dynamic then one can see that the above mentioned movements by Black women have their basis in attracting the top men be it rich Black men or white men. Keep in mind for many Black women an average white man is better than an accomplished Black man. Women in their mad rush to get to the top men are leaving heel marks on the faces of the non-select men. The non-select men are not sitting back and taking this situation without a fight.
The funny thing about Black women being focused on the top men is that they will admit to this state of things. I’ve presented the select/non-select paradigm to hundreds of women. Only ONE has rejected the idea. ONE! They all agreed with the idea and have even provided more insight from a woman’s point of view. The problem is that these women never think about the men who don’t make the cut and their response. This is the real issue in the Black Gender War.