Most Nigerian single ladies are the reason they are not yet married. They are still single because many of them are living according to their imagination of a prince charming. They dream of a relationship like the ones in the movies. A relationship where everything is perfect and beautiful and colourful. Where the man is rich and godly and wealthy and has everything his wife desires. It is good. Everyone likes this but life is not always the way we want it to be. It is not a bad thing to aim high, but we must also use our discretion when we aim high.
You see, we must be sincere with ourselves. The life of a woman runs faster than that of a man. And they are expected to take advantage of that, although with caution and wisdom. Women grow up faster. Their growth is so rapid that sometimes it surprises you. Women have boundless opportunities but their opportunities are also limited, especially when they are coming of age. The society treats them with respect. They are regarded. They are treated with honour wherever they go. This is because they are always seen as fragile elements and weaker vessels. But the funny thing is that they sometimes do not see themselves as one.
They always think they are equal to or even greater than men. This is probably true. However, many young African women have closed the door of opportunities on themselves because of their carelessness and lack of wisdom. Maybe they think they will live forever. They probably think they will be young forever. But they get old so fast. This is how it goes: a woman has a lot of prospects when they are still young. When they are in their teen years. I mean, thirteen to nineteen. This is when their beauty comes forth so well. Some will carry this beauty to twenty or twenty-two. Or even more.
At this period, they are always confident. They are full of life. They are intelligent. They can do anything. Men will come to them to propose to them. They have a lot of choices then. The ball is always in their court. They have the chance to choose the kind of men they will marry. They can select. But, most times, women don’t know what they want. They can make mistakes in that period. They can fall into the hands of those who will use them and dump them. They can also encounter those who have come to love them genuinely, but because an average African woman is ignorant, they can blow the opportunity away.
Women like to show off. They forget that in the process of showing off and keeping men in suspense and playing hard to get, the clock of their life is ticking away and the time is running against them. Most of them learn very late in life. Some of them are looking for a man who is already made. A man who has everything going for him. But, men also need women who have something to offer, women who will support them and stand by them. In the process of looking and waiting for a man who is already made, women miss it. They miss their time. Their choices are narrowed. They lose relevance in the market. They are growing old already and they are fast becoming obsolete.
This is when their senses now come back to them. When they are close to thirty. Or above thirty. Something in them will tell them that they should stop looking for a man like the one in the movies, who has no imperfections. Their intuition will tell them they need a real man, not a drama king they have always imagined. The pressure from family, friends and society increases. They are confused and frustrated. The society tells them that they need a man. They start praying. They start fasting. They start pushing themselves to men. They start doing some things they ordinarily won’t do, because they must get married.
But, sincerely, some of them are the cause of their problems. They are the reason they are not married, because they have blown their opportunities, because they have deceived themselves by telling themselves that they can’t struggle with a man. I understand. No one likes to suffer. No one likes to endure. But we can’t rule out the fact that we must struggle for some things. Those who always want everything easy end up losing out in life at the end. Many African women don’t want to contribute to the success of men. They don’t want to do anything for men. They just want to come and pluck the fruits of our labour. They want to reap where they have not planted. That is one of the reasons many of them are still single, because they are greedy, because they want to reap where they have not sown.