Respect Is Earned, Not Freely Given

There are some little important things we need to be doing to earn people’s respect and have them take us seriously. These things are very simple but important at the same time. They are simple unwritten laws that if we fail to follow, we may not get the respect we deserve from other people. The transgression of these unwritten laws can only bring the opposite of what we expect from people. That’s how vital they are. I’ll be talking about them in the following paragraphs.

Don’t always beg people. If you want respect, you need to stop putting yourself in situations where you have to beg people all of the time. People don’t respect people who pester them about almost everything. Truly, we can’t do without needing people’s help sometimes, as no one is all-sufficient. However, that doesn’t mean we have to go out begging people for everything every time like a helpless baby. It doesn’t command respect. It diminishes someone’s dignity.

Don’t be a liability. Nobody likes a liability. A liability is just like a pest that feeds off people without contributing anything positive to them. If the only thing you know how to do is getting and taking from people all the time without giving anything in return, you are a liability. You are a pest. People will run from you. Nobody respects someone who takes all the time without giving anything back. We live in a connected economy. You must have something to contribute or offer.

Reduce how you visit some people especially when they don’t show concern. This is very important. Go where you are valued and celebrated. Go where they are happy to see you. Be with people who love seeing you. Refrain from where they detest you. A person who is not happy to see you will never respect you. One thing you need to understand is that not everybody will love you. Focus on those who love you and forget about those who don’t. That way, you will have peace.

Invest in yourself. Make yourself happy. It is not an overstatement that investing in yourself brings great dividends. When you grow not only physically but mentally, your life will become easier and better. Investing in yourself won’t even give you the time to think about those who don’t like you. Give yourself a good treat. A man who is busy building himself doesn’t have time to think about unimportant things. He loves himself more.

Think before you talk. Don’t just open your buccal cavity. Eighty percent of how people value you is what comes out of your mouth. Respect yourself by controlling your mouth and people will respect you. Open your mouth anyhow and you will lose your respect. How you speak is very important. It is better to be quiet and be thought wise than to open your mouth and remove all doubts. Think, then talk. Not talk, then think afterward.

Respect time. People respect people who respect time. The way you value your time is the way you value your life. If you don’t respect time, it means you don’t respect your life. If people find out that you are not time-conscious, they will regard you as an unserious person. Only unserious people waste time. This is one area Africans need to work on: we don’t respect time. We act as if we have all the time in the world. And it is bad.

Be scare sometimes. People won’t respect you if you are always present. Too much circulation makes the price go down. You can use scarcity to create value and respect. If you are always going to a place, move away for sometime and come back again. You’ll see that you will be respected. It is natural that people don’t respect or value what they see everyday. Familiarity breeds contempt. Move away from where you are constantly seen and you will be respected.

Don’t go to where you are not invited. And when invited, don’t overstay your welcome. It is not every function that you can attend. There are some invitations that you even have to turn down. You don’t have to go everywhere you are invited. It is not a must. People will see you as a stupid goat. It is not pride. It is about self respect. The way you carry yourself is the way people will take you. No one will take you seriously if you don’t take yourself seriously.

Don’t call people endlessly on phone, except it is an emergency. Don’t call anyone more than two times at once. Except they owe you money, two call attempts are enough. If they value you, they will call you back when they see your missed calls. If they don’t call you back, it probably means you are not important. You don’t have to keep calling people on phone endlessly like you want to wake them from the grave. Give them a break.

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