There’s a general idea that men need to lie in order to get sex from women. In college some men called it the “requisite lie.” It’s hard to argue against it because men have been successful at lying to women to get sex. At the same time men have lied to women and have suffered the consequences once they were caught. So there is an argument that lying doesn’t work.
There are many dating coaches and seduction gurus who actually encourage being dishonest to women. It’s not always in the form of telling a woman an outright lie. It is, however, a lie when a man is encouraged to put on a façade in order to get a woman. It may actually be considered successful if the getting a sexless date from one woman out of one hundred is considered successful. So it begs the question, does lying really work for most men or any man for that matter? I would say it really doesn’t.
The issue is that women either see through the lies right away or they choose to ignore obvious signs. When women see through the lies and still deal with the man it’s usually because they thought he was attractive anyway. Many women play along in this case. Other women will choose to ignore obvious signs that the man is lying for myriad reasons. Chief among those reasons is that the woman is extremely naïve or that she thinks can work with man to mold him into what she wants. Some women play along with the lies because they are game players themselves.
One thing that many men don’t understand about women is that when a woman is listening to a man she is not just listening to the words coming out of his mouth. Women in general communicate on multiple levels. As a player told me one time, a woman can say, “hello,” and the word will have 3 different meaning depending on her voice tone and context. With a man a woman is also listening to his voice tone, and reading his body language. On a deeper level she is feeling his energy. Let me provide an example.
Say a man approaches a woman on the street and says he’s the CEO of a company. While he may say that with his mouth the woman is looking at his body language. His body language is timid like he’s afraid of people. Indeed when he spoke to her he was nervous. He doesn’t feel like the leader of men to her. She even looks at his clothes particularly his shoes. His shoes are worn and need replacing. She looks at his wrist and doesn’t see a watch when she knows CEO types are big on time. The man is lying of course and because who he said he was didn’t match what she saw she politely walks away.
Men have to realize that most women operate on that level. It is what it is. It’s easier to stand up straight with a woman and just be honest. If the same man in the example above had been honest with the woman she would have been more receptive than he imagined.
Many men wonder why bad boys, assholes, and jerks win with women. They win because they are not afraid to show women who they are. Personally I have had many women call me a player. I told them I like the company of multiple women. They still went out with and did other things with me because I didn’t try to lie to them.
A man has to stand up straight with women. A man has to show that he is so confident enough in who he is that he can present him true self to not only women but to the world.
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