The Ratchet Guide to Sex In The Hood


It is there waiting. It is a dark and ominous hole that devours the swagger of men with decadent desires but noble souls. It robs the unaware of their confidence. If one is constantly exposed to it, he is driven into the abyss of incelic rage. No matter where he goes, it will follow him like a forboding shadow that illicits the deepest paroxysms of dread and fury.

It is the sexual kryptonian inspired prison known as the friend zone. It is a perpetually revolving prison where women exploit the sexual desires and frustrations of their “guy friends” for the mythical day of jubilation when all of his efforts will be rewarded with a life resurrecting orgasm.

Like the Looney Tunes cartoon character Wile E. Coyote, he concocts the most heartwarming scenarios to win over his prey. But it is of no use. Like the road runner, she is cognizant of his desires and informally frustrates his most heroic overtures for the pussy.

This usurious agreement is often unspoken. And this is where it is the most deadly.  Because it allows women to extract the following types of non-reciprocal benefits:

  • Un-repaid Loans
  • Free Labor
  • Excessive non-sexual time
  • Exorbitant emotional investments (by him)
  • Exploitation of powerful personal and business contacts (his)
  • A host of time consuming favors and hookups.

So what is the solution to this most fiendish conundrum? TRICKIN! Yeah that’s right! Good ole fashion trickin! A Fair exchange; a favor for a favor. But there are rules to the game. I will share with you 10 commandments to change the order of benefits flowing from an otherwise unjust and unspoken agreement. AGAIN! I do NOT advocate going to the ho stroll near you looking for sex. Especially, when there is one right next to you using you for favors that she knows that she doesn’t deserve.

  1. THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT- This maxim is true in business. And it is true when trickin. You must have the testies to state up front what you want, what you expect and what you will not accept. Don’t concern yourself with her conniptions. If she is constantly coming to you then odds are that you are the only one that she can come to. There is no one else. Make your demands and if she does not acquiesce, then show her scandalous ass your welcome mat from the other side of the door.
  2. THOU SHALT NOT SPEND MORE THAN YOU CAN STAND TO LOSE-Limit your expenses. Women in the hood are constantly in a bind due to their irresponsibility and poor money management skills. They will turn up with their bill money without shame or apology and turn right around and come to you to take up the slack. This leaves the power, water, and most importantly, the cell phone bill unpaid. And in the hood these are more important than the RENT!…lol… SAD BUT TRUE!
  3. THOU SHALT NOT FUCK WITH MERCENARIES-Because she may feel some kind of way about not being able to punch in your emotional ATM pin whenever she wants, she may become emotionless, robotic and mercenary. When this happens, you should be able predict a bus pass in her immediate future. Escorts know that charm and affability are the hallmarks of their profession. Conversation is a very powerful aphrodisiac. If you cannot find common ground with a woman over anything else but your money, then you are putting yourself in danger of being jacked, imprisoned or murdered. PUT YOUR MONEY IN THE BANK, AND PUT HER ASS OUT THE DOOR!
  4.  THOU SHALT BE RESPECTFUL & COURTEOUS-Some of you will feel a little malicious about having to pay. If this is you, then don’t bother. While you are not obligated to be her personal simp, you don’t have to be an obnoxious asshole either. In this day of the toy soldier, hood pussy draws more suicide bombers than Pakistan. The revenge-humiliation game is not a smart move. It only works if she wants to fuck you for free. Don’t let your wounded ego make you do something you can’t come back from.
  5. THOU SHALT BE EQUITABLE- Because she has to adjust to the new arrangement, there will be reservations. But if you are fair, she will usually respect that because the nigga who she is fucking is NOT. He’s the reason she is sucking your dick in the first place. Black women are magnets for niggas with the best physiques but the worst integrity. Thus, they are a lightening rod for fuckery and catastrophe. All you have to do it wait!
  6. THOU SHALT SHUT THE FUCK UP!- It is of the utmost importance that you remain anonymous to all of her friends, family and nigga of the moment. No phone calls, no who yous, no what’s up cuz; none of that shit! Preserve secrecy at all cost. She will aid you in this effort by calling you a cousin, a play brother or even an UNCLE! Women love secrecy like Fleece Johnson loves booty. And if you can keep your mouth shut, you will soon see her attitude and the relationship start to slowly change.
  7. THOU SHALT BE A PROBLEM SOLVER-Hood bitches are forever in some fuckery. It’s usually due to the fact that they don’t take care of the most minute details like a phone call to the proper place, arrive where they need to be on time, understand simple rules and procedures, or keep their mouths in check.  And because they usually burn all of their bridges, they can’t keep competent allies. This is where you come in. A simple phone call to the right person. Simple attention to detail or a little conversation will make you look like a god. You have become less like a chore and more like the daddy she never had. Only she will become almost totally submissive to your authority. THIS IS HOW YOU WIN!
  8. THOU SHALT KEEP YOUR DISTANCE- This rule is the inverse of Rule 7. Because black women are magnets for every kind of fuckery under the sun, she will always be in some kind of trouble. Her life is like a carton of eggs. Her problems are like the mythical greek monster the hydra. When you solve one problem, 3 more will appear. This is because the average black chick suffers from chronic emotional instability. So her actions are in some form suicidal. You must not get too immersed in these problems less they engulf you too. Don’t trade your piece of mind for a piece of pussy.
  9. THOU SHALT KEEP YOUR PROMISES-Hood chicks are constantly deceived and misled. Since they were toddlers, men and women have been lying to them. So they lie by osmosis. You must be the opposite. By keeping your promises, you invoke a feeling of order and stability. And where there is order and stability, there is comfort and vulnerability. And when she is vulnerable, she will yield.
  10. THOU SHALT ENACT SANCTIONS-From time to time, these chicks will suffer from the trauma of an un-focused life without purpose. They will drudge through life angry, jubilant, and indifferent. And even though she will benefit from the fair exchange, she will be susceptible to whore’s remorse. Whore’s remorse is the after effects a woman feels from having to use her body as a tool of survival. Although it may be exhilarating at some point, the consistency will take its toll on her soul. So she will lash out in subtle ways at you because she thinks you are part of her problem. You are not her problem. She is her problem. But never the less you will have to shut off all contact, assistance and empathy until she snaps out of her funk. Disrespect is like cancer. You must cut it out before it metastasizes. You must let her feel the deafening silence of your absence. No calls, no conversations, texts msgs, nothing!

If these commandments are practiced holistically, you will have no problem conquering her. Is it a magic pill? NO! Will it work on every women? NO! This is not for professional hos, escorts or women in the sex business. It is limited to the above stated scenario. Besides, you should have never let her get away with this shit in the first place. She should have been gone a long time ago.

At least this way, if she refuses, you see her real motives and intentions. And you can possibly make the best out of a bad situation. There are many more rules. I’ve only shared 10. Do I have confidence in their pragmatism? YES! I’m not only a client; I am the TRICKIN PRESIDENT….LOL

TONY MACEO is a senior blogger at the Negromanosphere. Like, comment and share the articles. Support on or on Patreon @powerofstrategies. TILL NEXT TIME, I’LL HOLLA!



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